A Delirious Image with a Bit of Haze

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Ralph and his brother find a man from the past. How does one act? Completely irrationally.

Submitted: August 12, 2014

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Submitted: August 12, 2014

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Ralph was walking home after a tiring day at the school. He worked as a music teacher at Herrington Elementary. Truly a tiresome job working with all of these children, but at the ripe age of 36, he was just fine in his mind. He considered himself a kid. Being the youngest of 23 siblings how could one not? Let me enlighten you on the background of this family of large quantity.

The father of Ralph is where our last name comes from. James Delirus was a calm man of high intellect and character. Coming from the name Delirus, meaning delirious in Latin, it was no surprise that he was a little nutty. The mother, Marina Duncan, was a happy-go-lucky woman with a smile always on her face. Her smile seemed to shine so luminously, it would light up the whole room. Now, they both had kids from previous marriages but they never expected to have another. Soon after they were wed, they had Ralph. The small bundle of joy was now the youngest after Romeo, him being born a few months before their marriage. Now there were 23 kids and all of their names started with the letter R, the oldest being Rayzoff at the age of 10 and Ralph being the youngest, just a baby.

Now, back to the scene with Mr.Delirus, our music teacher. Our slumberous teacher stepped into the park and sat down on the edge of a fountain.  Now, if we truly think about it, this isn’t a very clever idea because he might fall asleep. He’s done just that a handful of times and it seems he’s done it again. Ralph nods of to a light sleep as he falls backwards into the cool water just to jump awake. As he jumps up, he hits his head on a piece of the fountain above, causing him to slump back down into the water. He sighs and holds his head.

“Owww…” Ralph groans as he reaches to pull out his cell phone from his shirt pocket. He calls his brother Randall. “Randall? Could you or someone else come get me?” Randall sighs from the other line.

“I suppose I can. It’s so foolish of you to do this over and over again.” Randall replies as he hangs up. Randall is the oldest now after Rayzoff passed away in a car accident the year before. That accident is the exact reason Ralph prefers to walk home. The accident was quite tragic because Ralph had always looked up to Rayzoff and they were as close as brothers could get. Rayzoff was always looking out for him.


 

Randall pulls up in his car and gets out to get his brother. He picks Ralph up and carries him to the car. Driving home, Randall notices someone on the side of the road. He pulls over, curious to see who it is. The man is dressed in eccentric and rather old fashioned clothes.

“What are you doing out here?” Randall asks a bit roughly.

“I-I don't know. Where am I?” The stranger asks. Ralph rolls the window down to hear them. He seems a bit confused with the conversation.

“You don't even know where you are?!” Randall sighs.

“N-No.”

“Who are you?”

“I-I'm August Hays. Who are you?”

“Randall Delirus.” The rest of the conversation is a bit confusing. Randall finds out that this man, August Hays, is from the 1700's. Or so he claims to be. When Randall tells him he's in the year 2013, he faints. After carrying the man to the car and placing him in the passenger seat, he leaves and drives home.

Now they're home and Randall seems to be a bit flummoxed. Ralph, back to his senses, says he believes the young man and thinks they should help him. This idea is at first rejected by his older brother until they discuss, or rather, argue it out.

“Come on, Randy! The guy seems pretty nice and he's not that crazy. I believe him!” Ralph argues.

“Well, you are a Delirus. You're delirious!” Randall retorts.

“That makes you delirious. We all are. Some just hide it better than others.”

“Right. Whatever makes you happy. Now, how would we get him back?”

“A time machine of course!”

“Where would we get one?”

“Maybe that one scientist you defended has an idea!” Ralph was wrong in saying this. That case turned out not guilty but that scientist is not one Randall would have wanted to remember. He was obviously disturbed and lacking certain qualities a scientist should have in the first place.

“No! He's mad, Ralph. Mad I tell you!” Randall claims.

“My point exactly! Call him up. Please?” Ralph asks politely. It seems the youngest has won this battle. Randall grunts and calls the madman. Asking a madman for help is something he thought he'd never do.

The phone slams down. Randall seems to be displeased with the response for his plea for help. Ralph approaches him with a saddened face.

“What's the matter, Randy?” He asks so innocently. Randall only sighs.

“He says he has made a time machine and seems to have perfected it.” Randall replies. He then whispers to himself. “This is crazy...”

“And?”

“He won't help us. If we have any hope of getting this kid home, we'll have to sneak in.”

“Oh...” Ralph says in a melancholy tone. Randall sighs.

“You're such a kid, Ralphie.” He pats his head and smiles. “We'll get him home.” At this reassuring sentence, Ralph shows his happy-go-lucky smile again. He must get that from his mother

The night was wearing on and the men were getting weary. After August had thanked the Delirus brothers, he went to bed on the couch. The brothers went to their rooms. Ralph’s room was particularly bright and colorful. He had always been so childish but he has always been clever. He has always known how to avoid trouble. He was a bit of a silly boy with silly ideas. They weren't truly silly, but others thought they were because they didn't understand him. Everyone loved him though because he had a big heart for such a small, wimpy kid. He always had a smile on his face, even if he was getting bullied.

One time a bully came up to him and pushed him up against his locker right after lunchtime.

“Hey, punk!” The bully yelled in his face with spit flying out at the ‘p’ part. “Give me all the money you got or else?” He stared at Ralph as Ralph frowned.

“I’d love to donate to the bank of bullies with special needs, but I am also low on funds. My deepest apologies. Please, try again later.” Ralph smiled obliviously as the bully raised his fist.

“Then give me what you got for lunch, wimp!” The bully thinks himself smart asking for food from a kid that is 3 times smaller than him at least.

“Fine.” He pulled out his lunch box and looked in it.

“Just gimme the whole thing!”

“I’m making sure I have the right kind of food that will suit your tastes.”

“O-Oh! Good, punk! I don’t want no damn vegetables either!”

“Oh. That’s good. All I got is a sandwich.”

“Give it!” The bully persisted, but he was wrong to do so because when Ralph reached down to “grab” the sandwich, all he pulled out was nothing but his own fist. He thrust it towards the bully and socked him right in the nose. The bully pulled away and Ralph ran for his life. He escaped because he was so small and fast, the bully couldn’t catch him. Truly an example of his cleverness in his youth. He could easily help find out how to work this time machine with such cleverness!

The next day is quite frightening in the morning. August is so delighted with their kindness he starts to clean their home. He starts to sweep the hardwood floors when the phone rings. He jumps out of fear and quickly grabs it, pulls it from the wall and throws it into the fireplace with no hesitation. Now that the horribly loud beast is quiet and deceased, he continues cleaning. The young man soon finishes the kitchen and decides to make them food. He takes some lumber by the fireplace and quickly throws it into the oven as if it were some sort of wood cooking stove. After finding out how to turn the stove on, he tries to cook but no heat comes from the stove instead, it bursts into flames. He runs away and wakes Ralph up. Ralph gets Randall and they evacuate the house. The house was catching on fire and Randall glares at August. August hides behind Ralph and Ralph shrugs

“Give him a break, Randy! He's from the 1700's.” Ralph states quietly as Randall clenches his fists.

“He should be more careful!” He retorts.

Randall calms down and quickly calls 911. He waits for the firemen to get there and leave before they themselves leave. Randall hurries to the car with Ralph and August. They all get in and Randall drives off to the madman's abode. It was quite normal and the oddities of the madman's lab was well hidden.

“The lab is in the basement. We had to investigate his home during the case and we found it.” Randall tells Ralph. Ralph nods and creeps around the home to find a low window to the man's laboratory. He finds it and attempts to open it but fails. It seems he'll have to break it and this is exactly what he does. A well-sized rock is thrown through and then Ralph crawls through it, dropping down to the basement.

He sneaks up stairs and past the living room where the scientist was snoozing on the couch. He crept into the kitchen. He unlocked the back door where the other two were and let them in. They went the reverse path that Ralph had took and they soon reach downstairs.They look for blueprints of a time machine or something and August found them within a moment’s time.

“Finally, you do something useful.” Randall scoffs, folding his arms.

“Thank you?” August smiles a bit confusedly and found the time machine with the help of the visual on the blueprint. He hands the blueprint to Ralph. “Here. Maybe you can find out how to start it.”

“There's a big button right here. Maybe this will work.” Ralph says excitedly as he presses the button. It turns the Time machine on and the door of it opens.

It’s a tall cylinder shape with a digital clock in the front, telling the time period. A keypad underneath it lets them dial the number. Ralph dials the number of 1776 and looks to August.

“You ready?” He asks August. August's back is turned towards Ralph. He turned around and gave Ralph the blueprints that were stapled to some journal papers that withheld experiment plans.

“This man is the reason I'm here. When the time machine is used, it will transport a person inside of it to anywhere in that time or a specifically typed person to anywhere in this time.” He says as Ralph nods in comprehension. “I suppose it is time for us to depart.” He steps into the machine and closes the door. Ralph presses the button again and a few futuristic sounds come out of it.

The door opens again and August was gone. Ralph frowns a bit saying that he will miss the man. Randall sighs and frowns but hides it

“I know I won't.” He lies. He will miss him but would he dare say it? Obviously not. Ralph and Randall stroll out of the madman’s house unseen and go to their own charcoaled home.

 


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