Four Diamond Slices

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic


The start of a short story around the topic of werewolves. This starting paragraph portrays a brutal scene in which a man witnesses a werewolf slaughter his pregnant wife. I've never written a
story before, and only very recently took up writing as a hobby. So the main reason for posting this is to hopefully get some critique. Would you continue reading? Thank you.

Submitted: September 30, 2017

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Submitted: September 30, 2017

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Four Diamond Slices

Part one:

It lifts its massive left hand skyward, and brings down one fell swing of the long curved, splayed, greedy claws embedded in each fingers tip. They take four diamond slices of her blue blouse and leave bloody gashes in their place. Eyes frozen, she takes a second to digest the devastation. A short spray of blood splashes out of her wounds and paints the grounded grey flags. Claiming ownership of these; the flags of her tomb. As her last effort she lets out a curdling scream, and drops to her back. Her face scrunches and squints, she shakes her head no, gasping, clasping, grasping, pitifully attempting to escape her demise. Hunger beckons; it shouts and grips and grits its gnashing teeth, it waits for no-one. Of its neck each hair flickers up in excitement, flaying their dry mucky cocoons. One, by one. Like cadavers reanimated from centuries of slumber, buried beneath bracken, beyond forgotten; that now boast embrowned vitality anew... They stand quivering on the nape, as its bloodshot eyes beat red and revolve in a mixture of ecstasy and hatred. The husk of a man lay dormant within too powerless to betray the beast that consumes him, as the beast will consume her. With another swing, its right claw rips through her belly as if it were mere jelly, and the final echo of her cry fades from this gritty subway. Along with her life.

My blooming flower soiled, her broody beauty: befouled. Our very own sown seed seeps out through the four strikes of her stomach, I lay mortified in witness as if I were already dead. It's difficult to see the difference, everything I had in this world has been ripped away in seconds. How would I escape this? How would I continue living either way? Agony stings my tear ducts at the sight of my one loves lifeless eyes accepting the daggered teeth of death.


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