I'm Just a Mom: Things a Mom Might Say

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

I put myself in the place of a mom and wrote a list of things she might say. This woman is fictional, and i put this under short story because it's not a novel and its not a short story. I hope you like it! :-)

I’m Just A Mom: A List of Things a Mom Might Say
(written from a moms point of view)

  • Every cloud has a silver lining, and every bowl of ice-cream has my name on it.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, and I am sooo awesome.
  • Just because I’m depressed doesn’t mean I’m not a happy person.
  • I am wonderful; I’m sweet, considerate, loving, brave, smart, gentle, and amazingly modest.
  • I don’t care if chocolate can make me fat, I would prefer to be happy and fat instead of skinny and miserable.
  • I don’t insult people, I never have and I never will. Yes, honey, that sweater makes you look fat. As I was saying, I am very nice.
  • I can sing very well: Doo, doooo, doodie, doo dah!! Beautiful, isn’t it?
  • I am very logical: I file my socks in alphabetical order and I keep my shoes in the fridge. And yet everyone seems to think I’m crazy.
  • I make lists about everything: once I listed the names of all my children. It took a while. I couldn’t remember how to spell “Freddie”.
  • I hate it when woman boast about how many children they have. Are they really so proud of their litters and their children’s resemblance to thimbles?
  • I have one giant baby boy and he weighed more at birth then my neighbor’s eight children do now.
  • I am not a suburban mom; my minivan broke down and I hate soccer.
  • Sure, I’m hip. I can balance two baskets of laundry on them while I go down the stairs.
  • I was a feminist until I realized that being told to stay at home and do the house work and feed my kid meant I didn’t have to get a job.
  • I became a feminist again when I realized that staying at home and taking care of my kid rivaled any job known to mankind.
  • I’ve been married twice. Once to a man named Jack, and again to the same man when I realized he wasn’t such a jack-ass now that he was single again.

(Copyright () 2007. All rights reserved)

Submitted: November 17, 2007

© Copyright 2023 Amity Willows. All rights reserved.

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