This is about the night that I met True Fear. He is a terrible thing. He is something that cannot be shaken off easily. There are other Fears, like Nervous Fear, but True Fear is
the worst by far. I never forgot about that night. Even after death, that dark memory frightens me. But there is something worse than any of the Fears and that is The Feeling. When you were alone
in the dark as a child, you probably felt it. Inside, you knew that something living in the dark was going to grab and eat you. You'd quickly leave the room or turn on the light to escape The
Feeling. Even after you reached the safety of the light, you'd still feel nervous and afraid, because you knew that somewhere in the darkness, something was waiting for you to come, and then it
would finally take you.
On that terrible night, I was alone. It was my parents' anniversery, and they wanted to spend the evening alone having dinner at a restraunt for once. They thought I was old enough to watch myself. I thought so too, but I secretly wished that I could have someone in the house with me. The thought of being alone in a big, dark house with no neighbors close by made my spine shiver.
I walked them to the door and bade them a good night. I intended to go to bed early that night. As soon as they left, I locked the door and closed all the curtains. I turned on all the lights in the living room, creating a little nest of warmth and safety for my nervous mind. I turned on the TV and tried to find a good channel to watch. I flipped to the local news station and waited for the commercials to finish up. Nothing special happened in the world that day, just the usual misery and turmoil.
I flipped through the channels again and found a movie playing on HBO. It was kind of cheesy, but it was better than sitting in silence. I had watched it for about 5 minutes when all the lights went out. A short scream automatically escaped my lips before I figured out what happened. Of all nights for the power to go out, it had to be the one when I was left alone.
My heart was pounding as I sat there on the couch in the dark. For a moment, my body and mind was paralyzed. I forced myself to snap out of it and think. I had to get out a flashlight so I wouldn't have to walk into walls all night, not that I intended to be walking around much. I wanted to just sit on the couch and read a book with my flashlight until my parents came home. I knew I wouldn't be able to summon up the courage to walk up the flight of stairs and then down the hallway to my room, even after I got the flashlight.
So, I got myself to stand and start feeling my way to the kitchen. Suddenly, my toe rammed into a wall and I buckled and fell to the floor. I gave a short scream and I got tense. The Feeling was starting to creep up on me. I jerkily got up and walked to where I knew the drawers were in the kitchen. I felt the sink in front of me and then started feeling for the small drawer to the right. I pulled it open and dove my hand into the pile of junk and gripped the shape of the flashlight. I pulled it out and quickly flipped the switch. There was no light.
I could hear True Fear knock
I immediately began feeling for some new batteries in the drawer. I found what I thought what might be the right size. I opened the battery slot and tried to force the batteries in before I realized I hadn't even taken the old ones out.
True Fear opened the door for himself and walked in. The Feeling had already possessed me. I was starting to get a creeping sensation up my spine and I was shaking.
I dumped the old batteries out of the flashlight and onto the counter and again tried to put the batteries in. They were not the right size.
I could hear him coming down the hallway.
I put the batteries on the counter and jerked my hand into the drawer again and grabbed two batteries. Without thinking, I put them into the flashlight and flipped the switch. Still, my little beam of comfort would not show. I dumped the batteries into my hand and tried to switch them into the right position.
He was in the room now.
I was beginning to breath heavily and a cold sweat covered my quivering skin. I put the batteries in again and flipped the switch. Right then, it was too late for me because my savior failed to show. True Fear was with me now.
I panicked and dropped the flashlight. I bolted for the door. Again, I stubbed my toe and fell to the floor. The Thing was definitely going to take me now. I was alone in the dark, lying on the floor, practically helpless. I opened my mouth and started screaming. My arms began to flail around, as if to beat away arms that would take hold of my throat and silence me. Tears began to pour from my eyes. I turned my body and got up to escape The Thing. I limped to the front door and tried to open it. The handle would not turn. I began to scream again. I turned around, my eyes searching for The Thing. I could hear it coming.
I turned and tried to open the door again. It finally hit me that I needed to unlock the door to get out. I quickly unlocked it and pulled the door open. I threw myself out and hit a heavy figure in front of me. I began to scream again. It had its hands on my shoulders and it was starting to lean towards me. I began to beat its chest with my fists and tried to push it away. It began to talk. It was talking in a concerned voice! What was this? My eyes finally focused and I realized it was my father. They were home.
After that incident, my parents didn't leave me at home alone. I wouldn't allow them to. I was also sent to a psychologist to talk about what had happened. I tried to describe The Feeling and this new found Fear, but the doctor just waved it off and told me that sometimes it's hard to get over childish fears. I thought that the doctor might be able to help me, but I was wrong. Now, I am alone.
Just like how I was left alone in the dark.
I was given some little pills to take but I threw them away. Little caplets of drugs could never get rid of The Thing or The Feeling or True Fear.
I became a very strange, lonely person. No one would listen to a young teen's ravings of things in the dark.
After five years, I couldn't handle it anymore. My only companion was True Fear. During one of his attacks, I got a gun and I shot myself in the head.
With that one bullet, I killed myself and wounded him. He seemed to fade away, but then I knew he was coming back when The Feeling showed up. The Thing still wants me. I cannot be rid of it. True Fear is healing. And when it is well again, it will take me and bring me to The Thing. Then I will cease to exist.
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