Unspoken Volumes 2 - Life... or something like it...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
ever heard of a voluntary schizopherenic?

Submitted: May 13, 2008

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Submitted: May 13, 2008

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The final sediment has settled
Weighing tons though landed in a moment
The moment it downed on me
I knew it was the end of one lie
And the beginning of another
My heart’s now a fossil
I lied once to make someone happy
I have to lie forever not to make someone unhappy
The truth shall remain Unspoken Volumes
The fossilization is now complete
The truth in the heart is forever sealed
No one can ever dig so deep
No one can ever claim a find
For all things have melted in the core
And merged into one big river of burning pain
The heat shall keep away
Whoever dares to explore its depth
Whoever dares to search behind the charcoal eyes
Will be scorched and charred and doomed to death
All hopes are dead and buried
There weren’t any to begin with
How can I lose what was never mine
Inside the fossil I built him a shrine
He lives there where no one can harm him
My love protects him from the lava
A love as ancient as the very earth and skies
He’s cocooned in a sphere of my affections
He’s kept safe even from ME!
The flaming ring of amber liquid guards him
 
Wind brings pieces of his friendship
Builds a new earth and clothes my fossil
Rain comes from his melodies
Brings life and flora and fauna
That’s how larger than life his friendship is
It wraps my fossil in a beautiful habitat
For my loved ones to feel safe and nourished
Had it been someone other than me
Things would’ve taken the normal course
Where breakup and estrangement
Would’ve been the only recourse
But I’m an ancient soul and he’s one of a kind
Losing him as a friend would be too unfair
 
His positive affection mends and heals
His behavior but pristine principles reveals
Life without him would be too mean a fate
So I take the road much less traveled
I’m grateful to him for showing me the way
That both of us forever best friends stay
 
This road demands a courage so heroic
For this I have to be a voluntary schizophrenic!
Ironic how schizophrenia is claimed to be subconscious
To protect the weak from pain and losses
But to consciously become schizophrenic
Poetic license one step too far… but hey
Did I mention I’m a different species altogether?
Me, myself and him… we are all very best friends
 
Me shall be hidden from the world and him
Only coming out when alone in the dark
To weep away and let out some of the steam
Each day I send myself to work
And me appears only as part of a dream
For if me wanders for all to see
Our worlds will come crashing and friendship will cease to be
Such a brutal fate we shall never endure
Because although in his shrine lives someone else
There shall always be a heaven in his heart in my name
 
Our friendship means as much to him as to me
He will always be there to protect me from pain
He will never let our friendship be endangered
I will forever be like a breeze caressing his heart
We are not soul mates but our souls are eternally entwined
A friendship like no other… a bond no one can unwind
In a lifetime I built a world on white lies
To make others happy thinking it’s noble
I now have to build a new lie
It’s too late to turn back now and untell the fable
Because life’s biggest lesson is reality is a lie
We all make believe and become martyrs
Show me one man or woman who lives just by facts and numbers
I’ll show you a programmed machine devoid of humanity
I’m not justifying using lies to do good
Lies always bring Armageddon to whoever in its way stood
But once a lie is born it snowballs and becomes a world
You create it you have to live it, or leave it to rot and crumble
The sad thing is he sees through the lies
And he knows how I really feel
It pains him to know that the pain is real
It pains me to know it pains him
that he’s always trying his best to make me heal
that he cares so much he wants me not to feel
as he cannot see me suffer the ordeal
 
Do we really have a choice my love?
if only I hadn’t told you that day
and let my love remain Unspoken Volumes
I would have at least spared you the pain
of suffering because of my turmoil
Oh I love you so I wish I didn’t bring you misery
of lying awake at night feeling sad for me
you are a kind soul and your heart
is big enough to be my special friend
 
I wish I could explain to him
how I never ever wanted to bring him sorrow
he feels especially sorry as he knows
how hard it is to see him everyday and still hold back
We’re both brave to know all this
and yet pretend all pain will go away
My heart aches from being trapped in my lies
His heart aches for me because he really cares
He doesn’t miss a beat of my heart and yet pretends not to see
He does it for my sake not to feel ashamed
His courage is greater than mine
He lives by his principles and never takes advantage
He will care for me as long as he lives
Me shall love him till the day I die
Myself shall be his best friend for eternity
Our special connection will never be severed
Those timeless memories will forever remain
Those perpetual memories will only be known to me, myself and him
No force can ever take that away from us
He lives in the shrine of my fossilized heart
This is the only reality… the Unspoken Volumes
of truth and pain in my world of lies and delusions
 
The lush earth of his friendship
will sustain my loved ones for me
I can still smile because of it
If I hadn’t had these feelings
I would never have known I could write
He opened up Unspoken Volumes of literature
I never knew existed in my mind
I owe it to his tender loving care… his pure unselfish friendship
that I can still have a life… or something like it
 
Life or at least… something like it.
 


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