Darkness follows me everywhere,
It’s hard not to be afraid.
I live with demons making jokes,
About all the life choices I've made
Made fun of all my years of life,
I never had a chance,
they’d laugh, point and walk away,
taking only one glance.
I never knew what friendship was,
at school I stood alone
Until others made me start to cry,
So I called my dad to take me home.
I’d lay my head down on the desk,
To dream of a different place,
But, really, I was hiding the tears,
That had been streaming down my face.
Spit balls always in my hair,
names called across the hall.
Hands pushing and shoving me everywhere,
trying to make me fall.
Big red F’s across every paper
My parents not impressed.
But I assured them everything was fine,
And this time I’d try my best.
Teachers looking past my eyes.
Not seeing the pain that dwelled within.
They never knew I begged my parents every morning
to not to send me to this hell again.
I began faking being sick
and staying home just because I could.
Afraid of getting tortured again
deep down I knew I would.
I tried my best to follow through
but each day was misery
I was harassed every single day,
and my parents fought because of me
I locked myself in my room
waiting for the day
I decided I had enough
I would run away
Run away to a far away place
where no one knew my name
where I no longer had to suffer
and hang my head in shame
The day I waited for never came
and I lost all my pride
so instead of living my own life
I decided to always hide.
I hid away in my home
I dropped out of school
not because I was lazy
or thought it was cool
kids made my life hell
as teachers would sit and stare
as if they were making fun of a wall
as if I wasn't there
the other day i came across
a rule I read aloud
that had tears streaming down my face:
“No bullying is allowed”
No one tried to save my life
No one tried to make me see
That I was no failure
that they believed in me
So here I am broken and cold
sitting all alone
in this new hell I've created
that place I call ‘home’
© Copyright 2017 AmyLoux. All rights reserved.
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