Birthday Present

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

A love so precious, a love so true, a love that comes from me to you.Happy Birthday to you, all my life and it's desires, I owe to you and I love you!

 Birthday Present

“Three weeks, OMG, just three weeks to his 19th birthday and I, already don’t know what to do with my life because I haven’t planned anything yet. This is ridiculous. I mean just look at me, for the eleven months of the year, I wait for December, and this shit named ‘Exams’ are gonna ruin this month, it can’t happen, Miley, do something, I’ve to surprise Adrian, I already don’t know how but I have to, it’s requisite.”

I always hung up after my dramatic emotive conversation with Miley because I always know that all she has to say is;

‘Keep calm Anna, things will get better.’

Well, she’s never wrong. Even if circumstances don’t support me, I create circumstances which emanate things better.

So, ‘the plan is planned’. Three weeks, so unique, one notebook, no course book, million and brilliant memories, innumerable feelings, inconsumable thoughts, inadequate confessions and O wait! ‘The expressions’, un-measurable Love which is always above and never enough.

Boring though yea?

Naaa…

Even the first page will say it all.

“For the love of my life.”

‘Adrian Michael’

Three weeks have 21 days and out of 21 days, 7 days are my exams and 21-7= 14 days! THIS IS THE MOST AWKWARD time period in which I’ve to fathom things right from 2011 till now, December 2015. Well, I am also determined to what I decide, so I hope this gets good.

300 pages of the notebook, and more than 300k memories. Ahh! A devil of a job in fact!

So, I started with a notebook, of course, some colorful pens, develops of some pictures, my poetry material all summed up and a ‘tranquil solitary.’

There’s a photograph of me in which my lips are smiling through my soul and my soul is smiling through my heart, and of course, ‘even the thought of him makes my heart smile.’ I pasted that picture after the page which titled his name and below the picture, I quoted one of the quote which says:

“Sometimes I think, I need a spare heart to feel all the things I feel.”

That’s exactly what I want. A spare heart to store “OUR” memories, in which I live most of the time, in which I invest my breaths, in which I still believe that Life’s worth living!

It is difficult to recall all the times we talked and even the times I spent without him, but it has never been difficult to recall the times when we lived together but were exposed to the circumstances in which he has to live apart, when we loved each other but were torn apart, when we missed each other and finally were brought close ‘again’.

In the first week, I noticed that I hardly could write fifty to seventy pages, all the recollections of year 2011, when we met. The second week was inconvenient due to exams and finally, the third and the last week was all I had left to finalize my notebook.

My favorite hobby is “Isolation”, and this is the frequent thing to which I got myself exposed in the last week of November’15.

My bed, and of course it’s right corner; the iPod, the coffee mugs, a glowing lamp and my all-time photo albums, since 2011 till now!

The chills almost got me ill, but not much to recall the memories. The winds almost got my hands freeze but not enough to stop me from writing and writing till my eyes sniveled and my cheeks got red.

Days could never help me to write, rather I preferred the nights, forgetting all naps and dreams.

You know what is the best thing about writing?  It’s never boring. And the worst thing about writing is that your words can never exactly type what’s going through your mind.

I remember writing about the day when Adrian left me in the beginning of 2012’s March and I could hardly declare it as the worst day of my life, because I can never explain what my tears can.

Writing about the patch up was the only memory which failed to trigger my tears, and so was the most interesting part of the notebook. From one memory, I could store the hundreds more related to that particular recollection and that was literally troublesome.

I didn’t leave a single memory of us.

I wrote beautifully, from the start till the end, from the first meeting till our last conversation we have till November. Photographs served a tool to enhance interest in the notebook and the most special part is the last one, in which a questionnaire is written with the answers he gave me (totally in a non-serious and funny way, as always).

There’s no ending, because there is never an end to an infinite Love, there’s no conclusion of perfection and there isn’t any “THE END” or a good bye, because ends and goodbyes hurt; they hurt like hell. Rather, the notebook end in the words:

“….to be continued!”

 I can wonder him turning the pages and smiling at his stupidities and my pointless dramas. I can deliberate about his expressions while reading the first time he said “I Love You” and the first time when I got my eyes wet in happy tears. I can imagine him laughing insanely on listing all his embarrassing stories and even his weirdest excuses for them. I can be inquisitive about his expressions on our 5 years old relationship which is perfect till infinities. I can be curious for his “Thank you note”, which I really don’t need, when I’m sure, ANYONE who goes through this notebook would stop them in their tracks, I assure it!

The black glittery wrap up and blood red “infinity” symbol on the cover of notebook made it even more interesting. The black box which engrossed the diary was the one I made after many tries. Tied it up with a red ribbon and waited anxiously, madly, impatiently for the moment he’ll receive and start reading it.

24 hours to the day I’d been waiting from the last 24 days! The hardest 24 hours, because waiting has always been annoying for me.

And when the needles of the clock strike 12, it was finally 27th December’15 and the Birthday to the man I love, I’ve always loved.

My birthday text was ready when there were still six hours to 12’, and it was awe-inspiring.

“3….2….1 aaand here! Ting tong! It’s finally 12’ o clock and the day I’ve been waiting for too long. Bah! U must be thinking that even today I’m not releasing you from my spell, (well, this be like my *just expectations* that my spells can ever hold you, but still u know I can’t help to over-estimate my presence in your life). So, the thing which always goes up and never comes down (your age) is the proof that now you’re another year older, but unfortunately not wiser. Chill, at least you’re not as old as you will be next year.

Well, honestly, before you I never thought I would ever love someone more than pizza.

They say you can never forget your first love, I totally dissent from it because you only ‘Love’ once, and it’s the first and the last, last but never the least. Thank you for making me realize that I have fallen in love with you, and it’s the first fall which didn’t hurt.

You are my Perfect definition of a best friend, boyfriend, gentleman and the love of my life. On your birthday, just imagine the things you’d want to hear and assumed I said them (too mainstream to tell all things you want to hear iukwim). All the things you love, all the songs you hear, all the celebrities you follow, all the shows you adore, all the games you play, all the food you love to eat, all the stuff you wanna do, all the sentiments which are too over to be digested by you, all the feelings you owe, all the guts you don’t have, all the fashions you don’t do, all the trends you can’t set, all the blah blah blah! I KNOW EVERYTHING, and this is a point so that you can never even fancy to give up on me. So stay glued forever.’ My forever’!

They say only the good die young. I guess that means we’ll be around forever! Yayyy! And now, I must give you time to say me a big big Thank you for everything I’d been doing for you so far, but first let me do the honors, Ahm Ahm, sounds cheesy isn’t it?

Well, Thank you for being a constant companion (even when I don’t want you), thank you for making me awake and thank you for giving me all the dark spots under my eyes, thank you for bearing all my tittle-tattles, thank you for not responding to a single one, thank you for being rude when I’m happy and thank you for being corny when I’m mad, thank you for all the gifts you never gave me and thank you for all the buttering you never did. Thank you for dealing me like a side role around my friends and thank you for flirting with each girl except for me. Thank you for all the promises you never fulfilled, thank you for all the things which hurt me.

Well, reverse the above para with all the antonyms and then accept a HAPPY BIRTHDAY from your forever love,

Anna!”

 

And the text followed the INTERVAL.

Adrian has been busy these days and while my work on notebook, I didn’t even prefer to disturb him much, but when we talked, we talked normally but with some teeny tiny complaints which caused complications which I never expected would turn up such a havoc. His reply got me dread to death;

“Can I say something Anna?”

“Me too Adrian.”

Before Adrian could hardly write his reply, I texted:

“Will you be mine forever Adrian?”

And at the beep of my message sent, I received his:

“Can we break up Anna?” 


Submitted: December 24, 2015

© Copyright 2022 Anam Tariq. All rights reserved.

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