The Bald Eagles

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
What if our political candidates were put in a situation other than elected office? Would their actions seem as logical or prudent?

Submitted: October 15, 2012

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Submitted: October 15, 2012

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This is a story about the fictional professional baseball team, The Bald Eagles”

The Bald Eagles was a very successful team until one ill fated season. They had started the season with a tremendous run towards the division title when suddenly everything fell apart. They were in first place but quickly fell ten games behind the leading team.

The owners of the Bald Eagles decided a change in manager was needed. After interviewing many good and not-so-good candidates, it came down to two men.

One was named Coach Barack. Coach Barack did a very good job of convincing the owners that he and only he was the man for the job. Although he had no experience in managing a ball team he felt he had the ability to turn the team around. What was his prior experience? Well, he had spent many, many... er, well a couple years, anyway as an avid spectator. He felt by watching the game from the stands he learned all he needed about the game. In fact, he said, he had become the expert of experts on the game. And with his self proclaimed leadership experience he knew he was the right man for the job. You see, Coach Barack had no problem with a lack of ego. He explained to his prospective bosses that he knew what was necessary to change the team from a loser to a winner and that his full bounty of hope would contagiously infect the team as well as all the fans. Yes. Hope and change would turn the now beleaguered Bald Eagles into champions.

The other candidate for the managing job was named Coach Mitt. He was named after his favorite childhood toy which never left his hand during his youth. Baseball had always been in his soul. Mitt grew into one of professional baseballs most feared hitters. During the twenty years he played the game of baseball, he was always a league leader in almost every offensive and defensive category. He had several years that were not as good as the others but overall, he had a very successful career on many championship teams. After his playing days were over, he managed a minor league team with a successful season. Not every managing move was the right one but Coach Mitt learned. Most importantly, Coach Mitt, gained very valuable experience as a leader that would be necessary to mange in the major leagues. Coach Mitt knew the game of baseball frontwards and backwards.

After considering the qualifications and experience of both men, the owners made their decision. They went with Coach Barack. You see Coach Barack was so convincing with his hope and change mantra, the owners decided he was the man. Now leading the Bald Eagles, Manager Barack.

Immediately, Coach Barack took the helm of the team. He completely discarded the tried and true baseball managing philosophies of the past and present and substituted his own. His decisions on when to steal a base, when to bunt, when to walk an opposing batter, all things during a game a manger must decide, led to devastating results. After a short time, it became obvious to almost all Bald Eagle fans, that picking Manager Barack was a costly mistake. They quickly fell so far out of first place that any sort of chance of recovering the season was impossible. While their almost daily losing was happening, the once mighty and respected Bald Eagles became a laughing stock to the rest of the league. They were no longer feared and no longer respected. Manager Barack held hard to his principles, though. He did a very good job convincing others that the lack luster play of his team was not his fault. He said he had inherited a team with “bad playing habits.” When he took over the team, he said he would quickly be able to turn around their bad habits but after a while he realized their bad habits were much worse than he had thought and it would take as long as next season before, “I teach them to play correctly.” He was very convincing in shifting any blame. No one was a better speaker than Coach Barack, especially when blaming others. The fact he had never played a game of baseball in his life, he said, “gives me a better perspective to teach my players.” So, the season ends with the team near last place and trailing the other teams in all offensive and defensive categories.

Well, this is where this story ends. Coach Barack is poised to lead the team next year. Has he done anything to indicate things might be better next year? Not really. In fact he has new ideas he hasn't tried yet. New ideas to add to the ideas that didn't work so well this season. Like, he wants the more experienced players to give a part of their salary to the newer players. He doesn't like player income disparity. He is also trying to get the owners to leave the gates open on gameday and let those without a ticket in for free. And, he did say he will spend the off season going to each team in the league and apologize for beating them in past. Such a kind man.

Next season should be very interesting.

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.


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