The Beginning Is Half The Work

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Me, you and us. The story how it all started. What I couldn't say to you in person. All of it .

Submitted: June 13, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 13, 2013




The day's started to be longer. They where starting to get warmer as well. Almost three entire years had past since the first time we met. It felt longer. That day was a great day. It was one of those day's you know something is going to happen. It started just like every day but felt different. So I decided to say yes to everything that people asked me. I said yes to breakfast with my family, I said yes to shopping with my sister and I said yes to going out that night. And every day I am grateful that said yes to that. 
My mascara didn't stick like it normally did. My hair didn't fall flat like it always did. Usually I couldn't decide what to wear but the shopping spree was good for something. And then there where the colored lenses that I bought a few week earlier. I thought I looked great. Then my friend showed up. She looked great too, as always. She was the kind of girl that makes you feel like you are always less. Her hair always shined brighter. She always dressed amazing. I was incredibly jealous of her. But she was my best friend. Always was, always will. We laughed together, cried together, made mistakes together. But that night wasn't a mistake and we both new it. 
I don't know if it where the lenses, my new clothes or the fact that I new something was going to happen. But it was an amazing night, I drank way too much, laughed my ass off and so did my friends. Nothing could go wrong. Unfortunately it did. My best friend hat a flat tire. So I offered to take her home since it was the same way anyways. We where both extremely drunk. On the way home we talked about what we had not yet discussed. That feeling we both knew we both had. She felt the exact same thing as I did. It was in the air, the wind was warm and it brought a feeling with. We where halfway home when we saw a friend of me. We stopped to talk a little. He offered us sandwiches but we kindly declined since we where a little down about the fact that nothing had happened yet. But we stayed to talk in the street for a little while. Time passed. We talked about all kinds of things. I remember that we where talking about my new car when I heard voices. I asked if he was waiting for someone and he answered with yes. I looked until I could see you. I noticed you where looking back so I looked away. Made an excuse and left. 
That night I couldn't sleep. Was that what I waited the day for? To see you and become so scared that I left immediately? It couldn't have been. So I decided to call my friend. She felt the same, again. Except she had seen someone else. His friend. There where a bunch of guys looking towards us but I had only seen you and she had only seen him. It was starting to be weird. After a normal week of school I met my friend again. That weekend was the town fest. Everyone went, even people from the neighbor towns. We talked about it and decided to see if we would meet them again. So we did each others make-up, hair and styled an amazing outfit for each other. 
The first night, nothing. We drank, laughed and had a great night but we didn't see them. We didn't expect to see them the second night either. We went anyways. I remember where we stood. What I drank. And what I was searching for in the crowd was you. I had only seen you once but it felt different. It must sound as a cliche but it was true. That night I lost control of things. I drank much, way too much. I don't remember anything but some of it is as clear as water. What I do remember is that I was looking through the crowd and found what I was looking for. You. Somehow my eyes pulled towards you. And your towards mine. I remember that I decided to walk toward you and start a conversation. I remember that we had an amazing conversation. That we both knew what would happen that night. We kissed. It was one of those good ones. Everything was perfect. Until I saw my crush. I hadn't given him a though since the day I first saw you. My crush knew about my feelings for him since I had told him about it before. He must have seen us kissing but he didn't came closer. I told you that I was going to get a drink and check on my friends and you should do the same. You did. I waited at the bar until I didn't saw you anymore and I walked towards my crush. I knew that I was doing something that I shouldn't have. I knew what was going to happen if I kept walking. I think it was the drinks but I know that I can't blame them. 
I had an unwritten rule about going out. I swore to myself that I would never kiss two guys at the same night. That night was the first time and hopefully the last time I broke my promise. I hoped solemnly that you hadn't seen. But as soon as I turned away from my crush ready to tell him that it was a mistake, I saw you looking. I felt heartbroken even though I was the way who broke the hearts that night. His look cut through me like a knife though steak. Raw, sore and bloody. I felt horrible. He walked away and I knew that I had to give him some time. That was the first time I looked at his friends. They stared at me like I had just killed somebody. I felt worse. I realized he was my crush now. So I told my 'old' crush. I broke his heart too. He said that I had strung him along. It was only after a while that I realized that wasn't true. At the time it felt like I had. Everything was my fault. 
I could only hope you didn't hated me after what I did. It must feel like an over-reaction now but I was overwhelmed by everything that happened. I made my plan. I was going home, let everything rest for a bit. And then I hoped I would see you at the third and last day of the fest.


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