The Drizzle at The Station

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
The story of the conviction of a woman who feels her ex-boyfriend still loved her. But all of that is evidenced in the station. The place usually she saw his ex-boyfriend to come and go. The place had opened his eyes to the wrong beliefs she had. It's made her aware of anyone else worth beloved. He is the one around her.

Submitted: September 17, 2012

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Submitted: September 17, 2012

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I sat near the window, in a seat on the train. I watched from the glass, drizzle still accompany the lights in the corner of the rail in the city of Surabaya. Drizzle adds to the romance of the night wore on. Then I took a deep breath, calm down. Somehow I feel a bit nervous when sitting near him. I used to talk a lot, now only silent as losing my voice. Sometime I saw him, though then I turned my gaze as quickly as possible. I do not want him to see my eyes are filled with tears. Happy tears when i meet him and i will not let my tears fall in front of him. Some hours we spent with each other in silence. Enjoy the journey with our own world. Only one or two times we talked. He still a little talk as ever.

He ask me, “Why are you now so quiet?“

“I’m just sleepy,” i said a short. Then he did not speak again.

There was no further discussion. Only the sound of train and sound several merchants offering wares. Secretly I looked over and noticed him. He was sleeping. Day trip from Bandung made certainly tired. I let him fall asleep unwind. Is this sense of relief that? Just to see him like this, my desire has been paid off. I smile.

Ari. The name is quite simple. Simple as that wraps the body of his soul. As simple thoughts on everything about life, make a load of life with thousands of problems to be lighter. Characters that he has managed to make me fall in love and all these years.

Ari is still like four years ago. Her eyes, her smell, her hair was the same piece. Could it still feels to me like four years ago? Slowly he opened his eyes. Suddenly I looked down, hiding my face caught looking at him.

Without thought, he took my hand away. He gripped my fingers tightly seemed to promise a comfort. I did not move. “Sleep”, he said slowly.

Them I want said like this “Ari, what does grasp this? Is that a sign that you still love me? “

But unfortunately, my tongue felt numb. I really could not help asking. I just said to myself many times . And tonight, I can not do anything about it. For a moment I was losing my mind. I closed my eyes and rested my head.

***

 

Forget about the status of our relationship that only ex-boyfriend. I could think only of comfort has been two years never felt. The whistle interrupted the station officer  make me remember about two years ago with Ari. We broke up four years ago, but his shadow never go away.

Or maybe i never allow his shadow to go? I do not really understand the problem. What is clear, a beautiful memory that we spent together was always teasing me to remember. The more I forced to forget, the more apparent it too memorable.

“Still waiting? It is getting late.” Dimas, my friend, ask me.

“No, go home there, Dim! I’m sure he’ll go home by train tonight. My friend told me. I just want to see him with his new girlfriend. Is that correct, or all of the news was just a made-up story to punish me..” I answered and pressed my jacket. It’s so cold.

Dimas was silent. He understood that I would never give up before getting what I want. Finally, he have given up and decided to accompany me until the train came.

I whispered to myself, “Ari, Ari .. Come on give it up! And immediately admitted that you still love me. Even now I feel still like the old days. Now I’ve realized all my mistakes, I’ve been a good girl like you want. I’ve changed so much better.”

Why do you say it’s not love? Why do you say you are expecting another girl? Where possible! I’m sure it’s just your way of punishing me for all my mistakes.

I never believe that Ari was not love me anymore. I do not believe it. Even when a few months ago, before she disappeared, she told me that my mistake was to give the wound made him tired so was unable to continue our relationship, I did not believe it. He also says that he has forgotten our memories and have liked another girl. I did not believe it. Although it was out of his own mouth. I still do not believe it! Previously, he had been lying to me, he pretended with another girl. In fact, he just wants to make me jealous.

Who knew that even now he is doing the same thing? Nobody know.I have not awakened from his reverie about it. My brain kept turning every story about him. How could he not love me anymore, even though we’ve been together for many years since high school? How could he not love me, as he used to always say love and miss me? How could he not love me, while he could not pass a single day without me? How could he not love me, but she always forgave me even when I was cheat him many times? Apology would never run for me. That’s proof that love is so powerful to me. As the source of a continuous stream and will never run out. Even though we broke up and even then mistakes, he would take me back. Hard to believe that he does not love me anymore.

He kept calling me every week and always heard my story everyday. Is that a name does not love me anymore? He lied to himself. He does not believe that space and time that will never erode the strength of our love. Although sometimes I also had to guard. Beliefs sometimes fade as well. On his statement that he had forgotten and wanted someone else. Could it be true? Although thousands of words can not always covers me, in the deepest corner of my heart there is a fear. Suddenly he vanished, and I heard that it was with another girl. Is this one play to make me jealous? If it was during this time he was only pretending not love me, until when all end? I seriously doubt it. My mind kept turning, between believe and doubt. Everything about Ari, Ari and Ari. Some minutes later, a familiar figure seen running from the platform into the station. Walking behind a slender boned girl with the same height with me.

Could it be the new girl? Several times they laugh at each other. I stared. I looked hard at him, make sure he is really the person i wait. They walk with firm steps into the train without leaving a view toward us.

There is such a huge force hit my heart. My heart beating fast, and I felt pain in my chest. Is this how it felt jealous? The taste like burning.

Dimas look at me deeply, his arm hug me. “It could be the answer? And what else do you want to prove? It’s true. He’s not lying to you, he says what he feels, he’s happy with someone else. Do you still not believe?”

Suddenly the water that floats on the surface of my eyes fell well. For the umpteenth time I cried because of Ari. My lips are sealed.

He say again, “Yes. You’ve tired! I will let you cry, if this is the last cry for him!”

And this time I was completely silent.

Turns out all this false belief. Wrong! From the beginning, I knew that God grant us a sense not only to feel but to believe something. As long as this belief, that Ari still love me. But, I forgot, God gave me a mind to think.

And this time the Lord hit me to think that all of my beliefs about Ari is a great one. Its wrong. Ari just an ex-boyfriend who almost everyone has had it. He’s just part of the past that provide a great learning, which almost every person has also experienced

He is just an ordinary person who has the patience limit to love. He’s just an ordinary person, not a plant that always provides sorry for me. I should have realized from the first. That mistake alone is already damaging the perfect love she gave. And I have to accept this reality. Now is clear, my faith was counterfeit. I realize and understand that everyone’s life has always had to be abandoned in the past and the future is waiting to be achieved. I understand that all actions have no responsibility as always I give pain to the Ari, the pain eventually swallow my self. I’m still silent. While Dimas helped me up and led me out of the station. We run up against the drizzle in the night.I should be aware of all. I had to learn to accept what God has given me. Not to reclaim what has been discarded. I had to realize that God has given me a better person, who is always there for me. He was Dimas. Maybe now is the time for me to accept him as a replacement for Ari.

Now I have no reason to reject him again. This is when I create the future with Dimas. This is the time I left the good old days with Ari, and it’s time to knit the distant future more beautiful with Dimas.

We ran into a parked car tidy. I went abandon drizzle at the station like my heart had gone out of the shadow of Ari.


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