Don't be a Fool in the Game

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about my job working as a receptionist and all the relationship drama that ensued. It also serves as an advice piece to women on how not to act with men by representing my mistakes.

Submitted: August 13, 2010

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Submitted: August 13, 2010



Most young adults are rewarded with cars, money, or trips when they finally graduate from high school. I, however, was offered the chance at being the receptionist at a prestigious student loan company, NextStudent. It was truly amazing to receive the call that they wanted me for the position. I had been struggling for months to find myself an appropriate job that would cover my bills, but still leave room for school. Through this opportunity all of that was covered and my worries could take a backseat. I took the chance without a second thought, thinking of it as an answer to my prayers. There was absolutely no way that I could have foreseen the emotional ups and downs that would occur within my life by taking this job.
It all started out smoothly enough. I was able to grasp the duties with my job easily and nobody seemed to take a disliking to me. In fact, I felt more adored and wanted by people than ever before. Almost every guy in the company seemed to want me for themselves. I am not going to lie to you, the attention was well received. I had never been the ‘hot girl’ or the ‘one who guys wanted’, so I was super excited with this new image people held of me. However, dreams do not go on forever, and this was no exception. The first guy to hurt me within the company was Corey. He was charming, funny, and he played me like a fiddle. Eventually, I found myself at his house and in his arms. Then the night was over. He never really spoke to me again and rumors were spread around the company about me. It left me emotionally devastated. I recovered though and went on my with my life with a renewed hope and sense of self-worth. I decided not to become bitter and continue to have faith that not every man is scum. The next guy I fell for was Daniel. He was positively gorgeous and seemed genuinely into me. I liked him almost instantly. Things seemed to be going well and I decided to take him up on his offer to go to the movies. This date did not go well to say the least. He didn’t offer to pay for me; he barely talked the whole night, and he had an attitude with me. I decided I’d try and leave him be, and then he started playing his games again. I fell once more for his charms and was once again left the fool.
As one can imagine, the treatment guys were using on me left me feeling insecure and lonely. There was a demon in my head constantly letting me know that I wasn’t worthy enough for anybody to care about. I went into a deep depression and found myself lost in the midst. This was not the first time I had found myself in this position though. I have let men bring me to the breaking point from the start. I began to understand that this hurt was in part my fault, not only because of my bad taste, but because my actions and words let it happen. I seemed to be the expert at having guys want me and dislike me just as fast. So, I’m going to tell you how not to act when you are attracted to someone by telling you what I do.
I can honestly say that I do not know how to be or what to do in order to attract a guy. I have never had a boyfriend and that doesn’t seem to be changing any time soon. I feel as if I’m damaged goods and loneliness often overwhelms me. I can only tell you the wrongs I do. This is so you can have a better chance to avoid the mistakes, so that you may find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
I have a habit of being overly open and genuine in pretty much every thing I do. This transcends into my relationships as well. I let my guard down when I am interested in someone and allow them complete access into my little world. The unfortunate truth of the matter is one shouldn’t trust someone right away to be able to handle their emotions. You can not let someone in without leaving yourself vulnerable to getting hurt. So you want to make sure that this person is worth the energy and time it takes to care. I can personally tell you that letting yourself go to soon leaves you with your best friends being rocky road ice cream and Kleenex. However, this does not mean to walk around like stone, constantly fearing the worst in people. Someone should never leave themselves bitter and hardened because some douche bag does not appreciate what they have to offer. It just means that one should be very cautious and choose wisely who they let in.
We see the characters play it out in movies and the ‘it’ girls in our lives carry it out with ease. I am talking about playing it cool in that 'oh so perfect' way. I’ve often been told that men are like lions, they want to chase their prey. It’s not fun for a guy’s game for a girl to come across as available, they enjoy ambiguity. If in desire of a man, a woman must be able to let him know that she doesn’t need him, but flirty enough to know she’s intrigued. You have to understand how the game works. I have no clue on how to truly make this tomfoolery work out properly. I always come off either easy or bitchy.  You must also always walk tall and speak confidently. This shows that you feel good about yourself. Another thing, one can not care so much about someone that they let them govern how they feel about themselves. A helpful note: say to yourself; it’s great if he’s in my life, and it’s just as well if he isn’t. The truth is that often leaving your young soul’s confidence in the hands of a young man will bring you to your doom.
Truly, the greatest thing I can tell you that I do wrong is that I am not smart when it comes to people. I let everybody and anybody in assuming that they have naturally good intentions. One can not have this innocence when living out their life in this world. God is good, but people aren’t always so much. You have to think. In the beginning, you must let your intellect override your emotional thoughts in order to avoid getting stomped on. Do not upset yourself sick with thoughts that you could have done this or that and maybe then he’d want you. He just wasn’t the one for you, and more than likely you should be thankful for that. I’m not telling you to judge others by appearance or anything; I am telling you to be aware. There are signs that someone will not be able to give you what you need. You will see warnings that a man will disrespect and disregard the person that you are. Do not allow yourself to be so blinded by attraction and tactics that you forgot what you are worth. 
Love is about falling and allowing yourself to be swept away, but the game is not that way. I am not telling you how to act in love, for I would have absolutely no clue. I am telling you how not to act when in the dating scene. I am telling you this to avoid knowing what it feels like to be alone on a Friday night crying into your pillow. I wouldn’t wish this hurt that I feel on my worst enemy. It’s truly a pain that burns within me every moment, for my confidence is broken. I know I will recover through God’s will and with time. However, it would have been nice if someone had told me these ideas when I was younger so I could have avoided it all. Everything happens for a reason though, right? All I’m saying is to respect yourself, to be smart about your choices with people, and know what you deserve.

© Copyright 2018 Andrea Renee. All rights reserved.

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