Sneak Peak inside "The Depths"

Reads: 328  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 3

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just a sneak peak to my Thriller "The Depths"! Read, if you've got a strong stomach...

Author's Note: Thank you guys for reading this little snippet of my Thriller, "The Depths"!

This sneak peak is an actual part of the chapter I haven't uploaded yet, so you will find the rest of this scene soon, if you are hooked! {hopefully you are (;}

Thanks Again!





“Yeah, it’s cold, but it’s worth a test,” Johnathan boomed; his words weaving through the thick blanket of silver mist that danced on the surface of the water, “Common! Get in!”

As if she was a marionette dragged by the strings, Melanie slinked towards the very edge of the dock and dropped the towel at her heals. Her wriggling toes hung over the water as she hesitantly leaned over the milky waves whose silt surged from the echo of John’s dive. She licked her lips, smashed her eyes shut, and slowly tipped off of her feet, until it was too late to retrieve her balance again as she plunged through the surface.

Panic gripped Melanie’s nerves. The icy water shredded through her warm flesh, freezing the blood that surged through her veins. Her bones stung as if they were naked to the open air of winter. The rippling image of the moon flashed before her eyes as she spun through the water in panic. It burnt to swim, as if through fire. She groped at the rippling image of the pure white sphere as she sensed her body moving upwards. Finally, she broke the surface as if shattering through glass, and was immediately blinded by a thick, pale-white cloud of fog that closed around her head. She struggled to stay afloat, and shot her fearful gaze across the water. There was no sign of the dock, and no sign of Jonathan. The water was a slice to the face every time it slapped across her head as she splashed through the water to heat herself. Fear was now boiling her body in a pot over the fire, rather than the splashing, as the pain replaced with insane turmoil. Then suddenly, as if her hand had an idea of its own, latched onto the rusty bar of a ladder.


“J-J-Jonathan,” she called, flicking her gaze here and there, believing she saw a ripple in the water, “J-Jonathan!”

There was no reply, leaving her with an empty thought of helplessness. She debated on whether or not to go back in the water to find him as the memory of the shear pain of freezing water melted away. Perspective suddenly jumped back into her eyes as two clouds of mist separated to slowly reveal the long standing dock that stretched out from the bank. Melanie retrieved a sigh of relief and crept over to the ladder again, dipping a slender leg into the freezing water that savagely hacked at her flesh. It hurt, but she knew that the more she resisted, the longer it would take to find Jonathan and get home before her father discovered she was gone.

The lake seemed like a bottomless pit as her legs dove farther and farther into the ink black water, until her head was riding on the waves she created. Melanie still clenched the ladder with uneasy fright, and pinned her gaze on the dock ahead, concentrating rather on her destination than the pain of the water. It was as if she was at the beginning of a tight wire and was staring down the other end, so as not to lose her balance. Suddenly, yet discreetly, a wave of warmth embraced her legs as they dangled far into the depths of the water. Another wave of warmth came, followed by ice cold, than warmth again, as if there was an alien presence in the water; like a robust body curving through the depths.  Melanie froze in fear, and held her breath deep inside her lungs.

“HELP me,” wailed a sudden and familiar voice.

Melanie threw herself onto the dock, and searched the empty mist beyond for any sign of life.


Pale hands clawed and groped at the edge of the dock, lodging shards of wood deep under their fingernails. Melanie slithered and crawled like a snake towards the flailing arms and the sound of disturbing screams that gurgled below the surface of the violent water. She clamped her hand around the ice cold wrist, and eagerly tugged hard enough to pull Jonathan’s head from the swirling, red water. His terrified gaze met Melanie’s. It felt as though she was playing a horrible game of tug-of-war with something that was concealed just below the surface of the splashing water.

“It HURTS,” he wailed, screwing up his face in pain, “It Hurts!”

Melanie screamed in terror. “What hurts? What hurts?!”

“Let me GO,” he screeched, “Just let me GO!”

Melanie vigorously shook her head, tossing her sopping wet hair across her face. She had the sickest feeling that if she let him go, she would be a murderer.

Suddenly, from a monster force beneath the violent waves, Jonathan was yanked, like a chew toy clasped in a dogs jaw, strait from her grasp. The image of his terrified face stamped into her mind. The water swirled crimson-red. He was gone.


Submitted: April 07, 2012

© Copyright 2021 Andrew Thomas. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:



I LOVE it 10/10

Sat, April 7th, 2012 11:40pm


Thank you, means a lot!

Sat, April 7th, 2012 5:04pm


oh my god this sounds amazing!!! im so excited to read this! please please please KMU! i love your description techniuques and it made it seem so real! ahh you are truely talented! welcome to bookise! xD xoxox ~chloe~

Sun, April 8th, 2012 2:59pm


Thank you so much!!! I just found out what KMU means b/c of my ability to be such a noob sometimes XD...I will definitely keep you updated!

Sun, April 8th, 2012 8:09am


Okay, so you know that story you liked (superhuman:secrets). iwas wondering if you could re-read the end sometime after 4:00 tomorrow. I as reading it and I saw I didn't publish the real ending. It was kind of disappointing to me, so I was wondering if you could read it. And I promise I will start reading your works after you read the end.

Sun, May 13th, 2012 11:55pm

Facebook Comments

More Horror Miscellaneous