Politician goes to Heaven

Reads: 313  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
He was a proud ‘family values’ politician – but without the values.

Submitted: November 14, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 14, 2010

A A A

A A A


Politician Goes to Heaven
A short story by Andy Andrews, November 14, 2010
Last edit 11-14-2010-AA
 
[He was a proud ‘family values’ politician – but without the values.]
 
Arrival
When Politician stepped up to address St Peter, he was already in a mind to challenge the results of this outcome - and in court if need be. “I mean nobody gets over on me,” he said. “How did this happen?”
But St. Peter was in no mood; “You’re a politician,” St. Peter said, “Not quiet the lowest of the low, but in fact just as despised.”
“Look,” scolded Politician, “I do what my constituents want me to do – the Caesar thing like in the Bible – Caesar gets his and I get mine; something like that; Campeche?”
St Peter wasn’t one to argue, but he felt humorous and so he let Politician talk out loud before thinking; one more time. It didn’t matter anyway, as this deal was sealed. But it was fun to hear the guy try to make a sale.
“The Caesar thing?” St Peter said, sounding a bit confused.
“Yeah, you know. The one where it says that you get what you got coming and I get what I got coming – the separation thing, that part.”
“The separation thing?” St Peter appeared further stupefied.
Politician wondered suddenly “This guy isn’t very sharp,” he thought. “He’s like everyone else; a bit lacking in smartness.” Politician decided to press this negotiation process to his further advantage.
“There are people who can make you very happy, and I know them well,” Politician told St. Peter. “I can hook you up Pete; you will not believe what these people will get for you and do for you. The women are very pretty and friendly, and if I might say so, the money is virtually unlimited. And I can make it happen for you my man; what say you Pete old boy?”
Millions upon millions of people had stood before St Peter at the Pearly gates, and he had literally heard it all. But he was always somewhat taken aback by the politicians and their never-ending diatribes. Most people tried to justify passage through the Gates by telling him something good they had done, or didn’t say anything at all. But politicians and mobsters were the only ones who tried to bribe him as if that had a snowball’s chance in hell – so to speak - of ever coming about; which it didn’t.
St. Peter always did things the same way. He would simply say “Next” and the person standing before him would be led away to face eternity. But this one – this politician – deserved something a bit out of the ordinary.
“Come with me,” he said to Politician who was convinced that he had negotiated with St. Peter successfully. He smiled as he walked alongside; ‘I’m already in with the higher-ups around here,” he thought to himself, ‘didn’t take but five minutes.’
They turned a corner and suddenly all was white around them. St Peter stopped and held out his hand and told Politician to “Behold hell.” Politician looked down upon a vast array of concentric circles with very bright red dot in the center.
“In the very middle is the eternal fire,” St Peter said. “Even if you’re in the outer circle it’s very hot and extremely unpleasant, but nothing compares with the way things are closer to the fire.”
Politician was a bit concerned; “Eh Pete my man, this is all very interesting but why are you showing me this?”
“Because you’re going down there and you deserve the perspective; you have earned it,” St Peter replied.
“Excuse me bud; we had a deal,” Politician exclaimed.
“Watch as the inner layers are exposed,” St Peter said completely ignoring Politician. “Notice the most inner circle, the one closest to the fire.”
Suddenly the image zoomed to the center circle and Politician began to see that the circle was not a drawn line, but actually people doing things. The closer it zoomed in, the more he could see.
There were two men fighting with large bloody knives when suddenly another man came up behind one of them and stabbed him in the back. As the man held the knife in the guy’s back, he grinned and then Politician saw another man come up behind him and stab him in the back.
“They’re stabbing each other in the back!” he said to St Peter. “Call the police – call 911!”
“These are the back-stabbers,” St Peter said. “Notice the gap separating them from the next group within the same circle.”
Politician saw the gap and then there was a man sneaking up on people sleeping, a family it was, and the man swung a machete and beheaded each one in turn. Then, the man with the machete lay down and became part of a sleeping family, and another man came and chopped up him and his family.
“These are the mass murderers,” St Peter said. “Again, we move pass the next separation gap, and on around the inner circle.”
Politician saw a suicide bomber with explosives strapped on his body. The suicide bomber walked into the busy market and set off his bomb. Heads, fingers, feet, arms and eyeballs of men, women, and children exploded in slow motion in all directions, and then suicide bomber was one of the children and he was blown up.
St Peter started to speak but Politician said it for him; “Suicide bombers.” St Peter shook his head and waved for the circle to spin to the next group.
“This group consists of the most violent murderers. Men who kill gratuitously,” St Peter said, and he waved the circle on. “Next up are the Trial lawyers,” St Peter said, making Politician more nervous, as he had at one time in life been a trial lawyer himself. “Don’t worry,” St Peter said. “These are the ones who knew they were defending the guilty – guilty of the other crimes committed by the ones in this circle - but they did it anyway.”
St Peter paused the image and turned to Politician. “Do you understand the inner circle as to it’s composition by the most violent of humans?”
“Yes,” Politician said.
“There are a hundred other groups similar to these you have witnessed, in this circle - the very worst of the very worst are here,” St Peter said. “Excuse my inability to find the words to better portend the vilest of human animals.”
 “Excused,” Politician said aimlessly. “Am I to be in this circle?”
“Behold,” St Peter said, as he waved in the second circle from the fire. “Here is where you reside. The second layer of hell is composed entirely of un-repentant and un-compromising politicians such as yourself Senator.”
“Who decided that?” Politician asked. “Who makes these calls?”
“God does.”
 “Is there an appeal process?” asked Politician. “Someone else to negotiate with I mean?”
“What do you think?” St Peter asked him back, as he waved his hand and suddenly they were back at the Pearly Gates and Politician was back in line again. He was led to a spiral stairway and he walked up it, and there was a pedestal with a railing. He held the railing as he began to shake and then he began to cry.
“You are sentenced to eternity in hell,” God said. “You shall be in circle number two. You have broken every rule breakable. People have died as a result of your actions. People come before me here as the ones still living do, and they ask for and pray for forgiveness for the hate in their hearts that cannot be removed: their hatred for politicians like you. Therefore, know this: This sentence comes about based on the demand of your constituents. Let it be!”
And then it was very, very hot and a man was blackmailing him, showing him pictures of himself in bed with other women and other men. And he found himself angry at the blackmailer and he tried to get someone to dig up dirt on the blackmailer.
 And then he was standing before the cheering crowd after an election, and he saw that only half of the people assigned to him were cheering his victory, while the other half were angry and full of hate for him.
He saw himself on a stump laughing at the people who hated him, and he couldn’t wait to bed the adoring young female he spotted in the crowd. He saw himself ordering one of his aids to bring her to his room later. He saw himself debating doing that, because he might get caught doing the thing he had just yelled to the crowd “I’ll never do things my immoral opponent does, and so vote for me!” and then he saw himself doing exactly that.
He saw the young girl weeping and praying for forgiveness the next day, and then he saw her blow her brains out in her shame, while at the same time he was at a fundraiser eyeing a young blonde looking at him adoringly, and then another blackmailer with photos approached him.
He stood back and watched himself grinning as lives fell dead in his wake, and then his wife was weeping with desperation and contempt for him as well, and he saw her on her knees in prayer asking for his sudden death, while he sat as committee chair and took revenge upon the ones who had not voted for him.
“For me or against me,” he saw himself demanding to the people, and then he was kicked hard from behind and told to do it over again.
Politician crucified his opponent once more and lied about everything and to everybody, and he threatened and bullied once more, and he blackmailed and extorted again, and he felt the hatred for him reign down heavy.
And just before Politician was kicked in the rear again, he saw the faces of the wealthy extortionist businessmen as they played him to gain wealth and privilege, and use him as a fence and as a prostitute as they poured money into his campaign fund to get him re-elected as their servant. They scoffed at their puppet politician and patted their own backs for holding the reins of power through him.
As time passed he began to see his hell more clearly. First, he must stand before people on the stump and skewer his opponent as unfit, immoral, and traitorous. Next, promise impossible promises to get votes and then listen to the thoughts of the ones who voted against him. Commit his adultery and then extort and bribe and seek revenge upon his future opponents at all costs to preserve power. Help only the supporting constituents and vanquish the non-supporters while swearing to represent all.
Politician was now as miserable as miserable was; except he was once removed for the ultimate inner and most miserable of sinners. His misery was compounded every ten minutes when right before he was kicked in the rear, he was reminded of the fact that hell had a thousand circles - and that he, the Senator, was in about far as one could be in, and if he spoke, he might be bumped on inward.
**AA**


© Copyright 2020 AndyMax. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

More Fantasy Short Stories