Smoke Signals

Reads: 188  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The King had called for his court and subjects to attend; he had a new proclamation to make.

Submitted: October 11, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 11, 2010

A A A

A A A


Smoke Signals
Andy Andrews 2010
The King was a cruel man. He stood on the edge of the castle’s highest wall and addressed his subjects below;
“I hereby decree that all who cannot pay my new tax shall die,” he proclaimed.
Murmurs of discontent spread throughout the massive crowd, as the king’s subjects complained of the sure death sentence. The fervor rose and then just as quickly calmed;
“Look! To the south!” someone yelled, pointing to a mountain top.
NO WAY a smoke signal said.
“What is this?” demanded the King. ”What meaning is ‘WAY’?”
The jesters, wisdoms, advisors, wizards, and soothsayers all gazed at the smoke signal as it drifted above yon hill. They quickly huddled as the King stood waiting; “We know not you’re Excellency.” The King’s eyebrows narrowed.
As they glanced at the message, another appeared;
FORGET IT drifted up into the clouds above the hill.
“WHAT THIS?!” the King demanded, as he strode to his chief wizard. The chief wizard did not know and so lost his head: The King slashed Wizard’s head from his shoulders with one strike of his sword.
Somebody at the rear of the court turned to his friend and quietly asked; “Can he not read?” His friend returned: “The wizard can no longer read.”
“You’re Excellency! Look!” someone shouted.
CHILL the smoke signal said.
The court of the King drew down in horror as the king turned upon them to ask what the new message meant. As the King raised his sword and opened his lips to condemn his court, he noticed their gaze drift from his face to the horizon beyond him. He slowly turned.
GET REAL the smoke signal said.
Furious, the King slung his sword and chopped off the next two closest heads.
“WHAT?” he screamed to the remaining court. They stood poised to jump the wall and plunge to their deaths, when suddenly they straightened up at once; they were looking past the King again.
WHIMPO the smoke signal said.
The King spun, holding up his hands - his eyes were fiery red; “What is this meaning?” he demanded. His last two wizards, six medicine men, and four diviners jumped over the wall in unison.
The King’s subjects down on the ground, began to connect the smoke signals with the sudden increase in heads and bodies, and heads without bodies, coming over the castle wall; “Smoke signal equals jumping bodies,” somebody summed up. Each time a new smoke signal appeared, the crowd began to look for new human body parts to come flying over the wall. The crowd began to cheer this orderly and predictable process.
POUND SALT the new smoke signal said.
“WHAT IS THIS POUND?” the King demanded, as he swished about, chopping off head after head cleanly.
By now, the entire court had turned its back on the horizon, unable to look at the signals. But somebody peeked, and then read the next one aloud;
JAM IT the smoke signal said.
“IS THIS AS JELLY?” the king demanded an answer. But before anyone dared answer, another one drifted up.
TELL QUEEN NO the smoke signal said.
The Queen was enraged; “You would do this? You would say NO to ME?” she demanded, as the members of her court stepped forward, drawing their swords on the Kings members. “Who is this there?” she asked pointedly. “Who tells a KING what words to speak?”
The King leaped forward, garnishing his sword at her; “Speak another word and it will be your last!” he shouted as he held the tip of his bloody sword at her throat.
“LOOK,” someone shouted, interrupting the Queen’s death.
FAMILY COUNSELING AVAILABLE the smoke signal said.
The royal couple dismissed the message in unison. “I call councils,” he told his wife. “And I the family,” she replied as they gazed at the smoke signal with contempt and just as it changed again:
SHE FANCIES THE JESTER the smoke signal said.
The King’s Jester bolted toward and jumped over the wall.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” and then THUMP!
Jester would jest no more, nor ‘fancy’ the Queen – he was finished breathing too.
The queen wept immediately upon hearing his fall.
“AH HAH!” the King shouted as he pulled back his sword. “He’s but a lowly Jester! A simple joke teller from the subjects! If you must betray me, find a more worthy man!” he screamed; “A man worthy of your head!”
The King sliced the Queen’s head from her shoulders with one swift stroke.
-
King Sheeit was tiring of this game. He only needed a second to reach into his gown and press the thing called ‘button’.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The smoke signal mountain suddenly exploded. When the smoke cleared, the entire mountain was gone.
“Ah Sheeit,” groaned the disappointed subjects below as they meandered away.
But the King strode away smiling.
As he did, he returned the wink of the Jester’s wife; the prettiest and sexiest Neutron Bomb Engineer in his court.
**AA**


© Copyright 2018 AndyMax. All rights reserved.