Journey of the heart!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

One lady feels a pain, a sorrow something is missing in her life, as she discovers what it is she has to make some life changing decisions...


Every day I wake up and feel empty, every day I wake up and feel that something in my life is missing, every day for the past couple months I have had this feeling, a feeling that is rare, and unexplainable. I feel as though there is a hole in my heart, there is a piece missing that needs to be put into place to complete my life.


One evening my husband and I were lying in bed talking about our day when he announced that his sister was pregnant. That was when I realised what was missing in my life, all of my friends had already had children, my younger sisters both had three children each. That was what my body was yearning for, that was what the empty space in my life needed to be filled with.


The following night I confronted my husband about my feelings and told him my life was incomplete without a child, he agreed by hearing the pain and longing behind my words. We decided to save an unfortunate child in a poorly developed country and go through with the adoption process.

Our first decision was not hard, we had to decide on what poor country we would go to in order to save a child. Our decision was Africa, which was one of the countries with the highest population of orphans.


We did not spend long going over details, all we knew that the best way to adopt a child was to head over to Africa, see all of the poor children and go from there. We booked our flights for the following day and then we were soon on our way.


The flight was never-ending. It lasted for ever and everything could have gone smoother, we flew through a thunderstorm which made the flight extremely bumpy causing me to become air sick and all of the sleeping babies to awaken and cry. It was a noisy flight, as loud as a lions roar.  It was all worth it though, this is what I kept repeating over and over in my head. Everything will be worth suffering for if I could just save a child.


Once the flight was finally over we wasted no time and headed straight out towards the largest orphanage for African children within Africa. Once our cab pulled over to what he said was the orphanage we were after the sight was quite shocking.

There was a long gloomy grey cement building with one shattered window on either side of the front and graffiti marked the entrance. There were no signs of life around no greenery as far as the eye could see.


We built up our courage and stumbled out the cab and knocked on the old door. We waited.

We watched the door knob rattle as someone on the other side tried to undo the old rusted door. They finally undid it, and a young girls head popped out. The girl was of African descent, she was tall with short cropped black hair and looked very under fed. She had innocent looking eyes and could not be more than nineteen years old.

‘Can I help you?’ the girl asked

It was me that answered first ‘Yes, well I hope so we are here to adopt a baby’ I finished

‘You had better come in then’ the young girl said whilst gesturing us through the rusted doorway


We followed the girl through the building, the outside was nothing compared to the inside. There were little children running everywhere, as we kept on walking we reached a large room that was lined with beds on either side. There must have been at least 60 beds within the room. We were led to the end of the room where two cots lay on the floor facing each other, the girl then started talking again.


‘Sadly we only have two babies up for adoption now, we had another little girl but she sadly passed away with an illness. This first baby is a beautiful little girl, Abay. Abay had young parents that could not cope with a child so she ended up here. She is the healthiest baby I have seen here in a long time, she has no illnesses or diseases and she is a very bubbly baby, loves to laugh.’

I glanced at Abay’s tiny face whilst she was sleeping, she was so beautiful, so delicate.


‘Did you want to adopt her now?’ the young girl asked us, interrupting my thoughts

My husband then answered

‘You said there were two babies can you tell us about the other one too?’

‘Of course,’ she replied whilst leading us over to the next cot. ‘This is Lado, that was Lado’s twin that passed away and I’m afraid he may be next. Lado  has many different health concerns one of being that he is unable to keep any food down which causes him to starve himself, he is also mentally ill with a severe case of autism. He does like to be around people though he does not get very much attention’


Lado was awake, he lay there looking up at me with his pure eyes and we just held the gaze. Lado was an extremely sick baby boy and had an extremely short life expectancy whilst Abay was so beautiful and healthy.


We then later left the orphanage to discuss with each other what our options where. We both knew that Abay was the right way to go and that we would love and cherish her forever. But my heart was torn, Lado meant something to me I saw the pureness of his eyes and the fear behind them.


It took all day for us to finally decide which baby we were to adopt. I made my way by myself back to the orphanage that night as my husband fell ill and could not make it out of our hotel room.

I walked back up to the same graffiti covered door that I saw this morning, and was once again greeted by the young girl. She led me back down towards the two babies and I stood there facing there cots whilst they both silently slept.


‘Which baby did you decide on?’ she asked me quietly


Our decision had been Abay, we had decided on this together and we had planned to stick with it. I then started to think, Abay was a healthy baby and would be easily adopted where as Lado could die any day now.

‘Lado,’ I whispered unconscious that I had spoken aloud.


I looked down at the baby boy, I would be able to save him, we would take him back home and he would have access to the proper services he needed and we would love him dearly. I picked up Lado and he gently opened his eyes and smiled up at me, that was when I knew that I had made the right decision, there was no longer a hole in my heart. Lado had made my life complete. Lado was the journey of my heart.

Submitted: April 13, 2012

© Copyright 2022 ANG3L. All rights reserved.

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