Merry Christmas Monica

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
In the midst of the Christmas season, I was blinded by loving a person who happens to love someone else. On the way to let go of everything, I found out the person who has loved me from the start and crippled my heart to know I've ignored her since.

Submitted: December 19, 2012

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Submitted: December 19, 2012



“I Love You”. I added a kiss to give it luck. My card was ready to be flown up into the sky. That was the day, December 24th.That was the day when we’ll put all our wishes, feelings, or dreams for Christmas in a card and bind it in a lantern to be flown into the night sky.  If we’re lucky enough, the lantern might land to a person who can read our card and make it all come true. For the last three years, I haven’t heard of anyone who has received my card and neither did I got any. This year I’m feeling lucky, so I pampered myself. I bought a beautiful coat and cozy boots with my hard earned money. “I need these.” I told myself. “He’ll be there but together with hundreds or maybe thousands of people, Monica. How do you think you would find him?” Hannah insisted. I just smiled. I know I’ll find him. He’s one in a million. Those hazel eyes, that brown hair, that tall posture, and that handsome face is obviously noticeable. “I’ll find him” I said. I glanced at my watch and a rush came unto me. “It’s almost 6 pm! The event is in two hours Hannah we have to go! But first… Can you help me curl my hair?” I shouted. “Monica, you look perfect. Yes, he might find you. But I don’t think you’ll find him” She murmured. “I’ll find him.”


And I did. At the event, I looked like I was going to a ball. I was beautiful. And he was, too. My hands were shaking as I was holding my lantern. “Hello Monique.” He greeted. “um, Monica.” I corrected. “Oh yeah, my mistake. Are you alone?” He asked. I glanced and moved my head around me. Then I said “Unfortunately, yes. How about you Mark?” I saw a sad and somehow a disappointed look on his face. I knew something was wrong. “Yeah… So we’re on the same track then. I hope you won’t mind some company.” He offered me. Inside me, a bolt of lightning mashed with a range of firework was emerging. I was shouting inside but outside, I was sedate. “Sure” I replied. Everything was crowded. People were shouting, babies were crying, and everything was chaos. Despite all that, I looked like I don’t hear anything. He was chatting, asking me questions, and stuttering while I was just staring deep into his eyes. I rarely knew him, He is probably the most admired man in town. Even though I just got there since the last 3 years,  I know everything about him. “Everyone! We’ll start in 5 minutes please find a spot 1 foot away from a person! Hurry!” A man shouted with a loud voice. I didn’t mind, I never moved away from him. Not even a single foot. “What’s in there?” Mark asked. “Oh, my card? It’s a greeting. It’s for someone who never knew what he has and is blinded by the love of other people. It’s nothing, really.” I hesitated but I knew I was blushing. He chuckled. “Why? Well what’s in your lantern, then?” I asked. “It’s a card as well. It’s a wish to be exact.” He explained. My heart was beating so fast and I could feel my hands shaking so I asked, “A wish? What wish?” “That she’ll realize I love her. And I wish she’ll see that no man in this world is capable of loving her, than me.” He said as he looked intently into my eyes. I was losing my breath and no words could get out of my mouth. “Who is she?” I asked and I swear I felt a tear came out of my eye. His gaze never left my eye. And a word came out of his mouth, “She’s –“ before he could finish, the man spoke again. “Alright ready everyone? Light up your lanterns, and we’re ready in five…” Mark lighted our lanterns and I couldn’t stop to ask. “Who is she?” He pretended like he never heard a thing. “four!” The man shouted. “Do I know her?” Still no answer. “three!” I was getting really impatient so I asked again. “Please… Just tell me” I was very enticed to know if I was that girl or if it’s somebody that I know. Deep inside me, I hoped he’d say my name. “Two!” The man was getting on my nerves, and so was time. Mark turned his head towards me and said “Hannah.” “And one! Everyone, may all your wishes come true! Merry Christmas!” The man shouted. I never noticed my lantern already flew away from my hands. Everything felt numb. I suffered. We stood in front of each other, with eyes staring inside our minds, and all the lanterns flew up without us noticing it. I couldn’t open my mouth. Everything collapsed and I just wanted to say that he should have fell in love with any other person in the world, except my best friend. I thought I was underwater, but no. I was tearing up. “Great! You’ll look great together Mark. Hannah’s a great person. And I’m sure she’ll see that no other person in this world is capable of loving her, than you.” I turned my back and on that turn I made, the tears fell. But I was smiling despite the pain. He stood behind me with his face down. He knows that I was in love with him for the last 3 years. I was always there for him and did everything to make him notice me. But all these years, it was my best friend he’s after. I won’t stop them either, that would be impractical. So I’d let everything go to what they’re meant and I turned around and walked back to him wiping my tears. “You need help? I know everything about Hannah.” I asked. He looked at me and an actual smile came out from his mouth. “Badly” He said. I chuckled and on that smile we both had, I knew everything wasn’t meant for us. “Come. You know the first thing Hannah would kill for? Food. “ we both turned our backs from all the lights, the crowd, and the pain.


“Merry Christmas!” I was awakened by a shout downstairs. It was 6 in the morning and I said to myself, “Yep, I wasn’t dreaming.” I knew everything would be a waste. Hannah was right, I look perfect when simple. So I went out with simplicity as my key.  “You ready?” I asked Mark who was impatiently waiting outside. “What do you think? I mean first of all, do I look good?” I stared at him from head to toe. He didn’t look like a human being, he’s extra terrestrial. I know I still have my emotions kept inside, and I was tolerant of those feeling to let a man I’ve given everything I got to be with, but didn’t do the same. “You look average. Hannah doesn’t really like red scarves.” And we both chuckled walking away. “She’ll be here in 5, 4, 3, 2, and…” We were impatiently walking by the corner of the street where Hannah lives. “one! She’s here! GO!” I whispered as I pushed Mark off the wall. Hannah was startled and so did her little puppy that she was walking with. “Um, Hannah! Hey, what a coincidence I was just walking here alone without anyone with me too.” He anxiously chuckled. Hannah had this big question mark in her face and I swear I was trembling watching them through this small crack on the wall. “Oh, hi Mark. Have you seen Monica? By the way this is my dog, Kemper… who doesn’t like you right now for startling her.” She smiled and her dog was barking at mark furiously. “Sorry no, but we met last night. Yeah… So these are for you anyway.” Mark was shaking as he offered a bouquet of daffodils and roses. “Okay you’re here on purpose Mark. Tell me, what do you want?” She said without the smile going away from her mouth. “Um, no I was just walking by cause like, I bought this from the store there. So… yeah, would you take these?” He was shaking more noticeably as he offered Hannah her favorite treats. I was thinking inside of me that this was not going to end well. “Mark you’re so sweet. But those are my favorites and your happening to know them would be intriguing. Also, you can’t be just walking around here and suddenly bumped into me. Lastly, the store there opens at 10:00 am. It’s still 8:30 Mark.” She explained. I’ve known Hannah since we were little kids and I secretly noticed that she also liked Mark. I know she was eager to tell him her feelings too, but she was scared it would ruin our friendship. Mark looked down and I knew he was disappointed. “There’s someone out there better for you; someone who really likes you.” Hannah added. I couldn’t stop it so I walked out of the wall hiding me from all the lies we all had around us. I wasn’t smiling, and so were the both of them. “That’s you, Hannah. Not me.” I spoke as my hand was touching the wall. “I don’t like him as much as he likes you. As your bestfriend, I know you like him too.” I added. Hannah’s eyes were watery, and Mark was speechless looking at the both of us. “I’m fine. There are 2 billion men around the world right now, I know there’s that one man meant for me.” Before I could finish my speech Hannah ran to me and embraced me like she never did for the last 17 years of my life. “Thank you.” Hannah thanked me as I grabbed her hand and pushed her towards Mark. “Now go, before your Dad comes looking for you.” I said as I walked away. Honestly I felt no pain as those moments passed. I felt accomplished, complete, and contented. I walked away with my hands on my jacket pocket and as I turned my back to glance at them, both of them were laughing their hearts off walking the street with Hannah’s furious monster pet chasing Mark. They were happy, and i know I will be.


Right after I turned to walk unto the highway, the lanterns from last night started landing down the land slowly. People grabbed one lantern for themselves and read each card. I saw a familiar lantern landing right in front of me. Intrigued, I picked it up and saw a card I knew I’ve seen before. When I opened it, it said;


“I Love you” and right under that simple yet complicated message I saw a name… “-Monica White”. I didn’t notice the ocean of tears flowing from my eyes. My heart ached and I didn’t care about all the people around me. The greeting I received was from my own self, telling me she loves me and wishing and asking me to love her back. For of those 3 years of admiring someone else, I forgot to love one person I should’ve given all my love to; MYSELF. I learned a very important lesson that on this special season and time of the year, never forget to give a MERRY CHRISTMAS to the person who loves you and you should love; YOURSELF. You can never be loved by someone else without loving yourself first. I folded the card and bowed my head.


“Merry Christmas Monica.” I told myself .

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