The weight

Reads: 244  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
The weight of life or or my past brings me down. Just expressing the pain of it.

Submitted: March 08, 2014

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Submitted: March 08, 2014

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Feeling like crying, I don't know what to say. I'm an emotional wreck and afraid of the past coming back to haunt me. I'm free but still feel enslaved. Don't know why I'm so back and forth and looking for stability yet not finding it. I want to feel like I am whole. In fact I just wish I was. Pieces of my heart are scattered with the party life and one night stands that used to bring me much pain. That was EMPTY! Although I don't do that anymore I still feel like I'm lost. Looking for direction. I can't seem to stand for long. Not physically but proverbially. I long for more. More than this world promises to give since it is good at that but it doesn't deliver. Broken cisterns have been my life's "drinking well". It always seems to be enough at first but then leaves me feeling down, broken and empty. Mostly the guilt has been too much to bear for me at times and then hope I can just let it go, forget and never have to think about it again. That's what I have done for far too long! It's time I don't let it just sit in the back of my memory somewhere but actually spend some time dealing with it. Allow it to "hit" me and not get knocked down by the weight of it. Im sick of hiding and want to be known. That can't be as bad as it seems to be. 


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