Diary of Cindy.

Reads: 149  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
I guess, this is like my first story. I never really wrote in a long time. So, yeah. :|..

I guess this is based off my own life. So.. it might seemed messed up. There is a little swearing in it.. so yeah.

Submitted: February 02, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 02, 2009

A A A

A A A


Dear Diary: 24/02/07
My name is Cindy. I am 16 years old. There isn't really much to say about me.. other then I've got a pretty messed up life.. I've never had anyone die in my family, so.. that's not really the biggest thing in my life. I've had allot of tragic events happen in my life. First off let's start with the fact that I have to start all over again. What do I mean by that? Hah, well... my house burnt down. All of a sudden my life went crashing down the drain. I thought I had it all. I was living nicely. You know it's kinda hard living in a family of 6 with 6 cats..we weren't really the richest. My parents worked there way up. It's not like I was all snooty. But, just as soon as my life was getting better, as SOON as my parents were making a good amount of money, we can actually have a proper dinner meal..AS SOON as me and my sister had a normal loving sister relationship.. and my family was TOGETHER & NORMAL.. everything went down. I don't know what I did to deserve my house burning down. What I did to deserve my best days of my life crashing down. I've moved 10 damn times in my life. And I've never got to stay in the house for more then 2 years... seriously. No joke. This was the house of our dreams. We got to stay there for over 4 years.. we were going to the same school. Actually, everyone liked me. No one picked on me, bothered me. We were ALL the same. Everyone was equal. The kids were tenderhearted, the adults were understandable, and they made you feel welcome. It wasn't till after I moved, I learned that some people are just plain evil, they're so... so....unpropitious. As soon as I walked into that school.. everyone gave me this 'You-Don't-Belong-Here-Look.' Okay, so I thought maybe there's some bullies.. and they always pick on the new student... because blah..blahh...these kids angered me SO, SO much thatt I couldn't control my behaviour. In my old school.. I've got suspended a dozen of times.. but it wasn't really that bad. Maybe a few fights here and there.. about some stupid things. Over at this school, kids were bloody & beaten and the principle just said 'Don't do it again.' Sometimes, I felt like I was being picked on by the teachers. They used to send me to the office, and suspend me for no reason. Ms.Hale was a horrible teacher. She lied dozens of times. During that school year-- I wasn't doing so great. I acted out, I was being rude to everyone. Part of it had to do with the fact my house burnt down, I didn't fit in at that school.. and everything was FUCKED. I was FUCKED, everything was just plain FUCKED UP. I've got another problem.. my parents didn't seem to notice the way I was feelings. Hmm.. it was worse then depressed.. it was way worse. It was... I WANTED TO KILL MY SELF, okay.. I have no CLUE.. why I am writing this down. I wasn't really the best looking girl, wasn't really the smartest [[I was bright]], but I did manage to pass school & all of that. So, I wonder why sometimes I am the one that everyone targets. I wonder why, there are some cruel hearted people. I've been rude to others.. I wouldn't bully them. I've met allot of people that would murder another just because they are living. Is it because I'm better then them? I came from a higher class then they did?.. So, I lived in RoseDale...maybe the houses were like.. I don't know a little bigger then the ones there.. and the schools were always in the top 10 list. Maybe, I had it a LITTLE better then them. MAYBE, I was a LITTLE SPOILED. But, I'ved learned to share in my life. Because once-upon-a-FUCKING time, I was just like them. I LIVED IN A SMALL HOUSE, I HAD TO SHARE MY BEDROOM WITH MY SISTER, I HAD TO SOMETIMES GO WITH OUT DINNER, I HAD THOSE THINGS. Most importantly I AM A HUMAN. I WILL STILL BE A HUMAN. So, Diary.. I know you can't tell me why..why everyone's so rude.. why everyone thinks it's cool to pick on others, why everyone thinks it's okay to smoke, why my house burnt down, why some people just hate my life.. most of all I wonder why I can't just die..

~CINDY.

*********************************************************************

Dear Diary: 27/02/07

My friends are jackasses sometimes, and sometimes they are really awesome. I don't know.. but today let's give a summary of what happened.
My friend Melissa gave me her locker combination code on a peice of paper, we planned on sharing lockers.. I kept the peice of paper under my desk. All of a sudden one of the guys in our class snuck underneath my desk and got the peice of paper. They were throwing it to each other. They got the combination, and gave the peice of paper back to me. I ripped it up in anger, and started to cry.. I sat with my friends for a little why and they asked me what's wrong.. so I told them. They promised that they'd help me make Melissa understand it wasn't my fault ---- I understand.. I was so CARELESS, and everything.. I know never to leave stuff like that underneath my desk, I was just loosing track, because it was sorta busy. Since it was Friday.. I left, went home. Come back on Monday. Melissa's giving me the evil eye.. -- so... I just thought.. blah.. she'll come around ... we'll sit and eat lunch and we'll do what we normally do.. I mean -- after all.. she has a right to be mad.. It's sorta my fault for letting her combination get out to all the guys.. -- what on earth were they going to find in there anyways? I went to talk to my other friends.. hah.. they looked sorta mad.. and looked like they were about to turn & walk away. JUST WHAT HAPPENED. Hah, maybe they didn't notice me --.. how's that possible? I was clearly staring at them, and they were staring right back at me. I felt betrayed, I felt like no one really cared. This happens every day, diary.. we get into a fight.. they walk behind my back.. and I come back.. we're friends again.. clearly I do something wrong.. I just never get told what I do wrong.. I just get punched in the face [[not literally]].. does anyone else know how I feel? Probably. I just don't notice it.

~CINDY.

Dear Diary: 29/02/07

Have I ever told you of the Internet? Wonderful place, just lots of freaks. I play this game RuneScape. I've met quite a few people. I go to this clan chat named Lol CC, everyone is quite wonderful.. and I know the rules of the internet.. -- duh! They warn you in CPU lab and all that.. yadah, yadah, yadah, yaDAY.. but.. anyways. I know what there talking about. I would like to tell you a story.. you know.. I never actually thought there were freaks on the internet.. even though my parents warned me there was. It all started like this. I go to a clan chat called LOL.. there's allot of people that go there.. there are rankees, most of em' player moderators that help clean the swear words and mute others. I met a General named We_Made_This. We would talk sometimes.. and we weren't really close friends.. just.. asscoiates. Let's say that. We started to get into a closer friendship. I had other close friendships. Marth & Chelsea <--- very close friendships. Such good people. Very soft-hearted and are sympathetic. I got to learn more about "We_Made_This".. his name was Nick & he was 18. I didn't think anything was wrong with him before, untill he one day kept asking me to show a picture of my self... so, I thought 'Okay... no problem..' I still show pictures of myself. One day, he convinced me to take a picture saying.. 'Nick's a beast <3' Some odd reason he likes girls calling him a "beast".. I don't know why.. just thought it was like.. hah..whatever.. just a joke. He started to get more perverted. I'd say things and he'd turn them into something perverted. 'I'm going to bed.' 'Me on top, Angelica on bottom.' I never really thought of it pervertedly till I talked to my friends about it.. I just laughed it off, and said 'Haha, lol.. ttyl.. Nick.' He one day asked me to show myself on webcam. Told me he viewed other girls on WebCam but he made me hush & promise not to tell his girlfriend, Claire about it. I guess another way to tell her was a interent predator is because he was very controlling of me. I met allot of other guys & gals. He'd always judge them, and tell me that they aren't nice.. that they just want to take me away from him.. and that they're all snooty & stuck up. WE used to get into allot of fights. Where he'd say that I'd always come back. He'd make me say things on the mic. He reminds me of my own rapist. I still stuck by him, still was his friend.. just never thought of him as a "normal" guy.

I don't know.. anymore.. he still stalks me.. we aren't friends anymore.. but whenever he gets a chance on RS he follows me around till I get off the computer... I'm scared he might hunt me down & rape me or some stuff.. I'm glad we aren't friends anymore.. it was a stupid idea to send him a photo of me. He almost convinced me to take one nude. He got a friend to take a nude photo.. he convinced her while she was drunk. She IS STILL his friend. I'm not too sure what too think of him.

It's so... I don't know :|

Diary.. I guess you're going to tell me what to do .. right?.. Hah.. not likely.. your just a decorated notebook.. with paper inside.. [[no offence]] your just like a teddybear, comfortable to speak too.. you won't judge me.. so.. yeah.

~CINDY.

*********************************************************************

Dear Diary: 1/03/07

Yeah, have I ever told you the good side of the Internet? Some really good friends you can meet? Probably not.. I put Nick & his perverted ways past me. I don't want anything to do with that noob.. [[eww.. I used noob..]].. anyways, I've met quite some good friends. There's two good friends I met that saved my life dozens of times. Have you ever thought of commiting suicide? Probably not.. I mean your paper.. what problems could you have? [[Doubtful]].. anyways.. I've met King Marthfi and Lady Larriel. Too good friends of mine.. they helped me with problems that I couldn't handle. Maybe, my boyfriend breaking up with me.. or just depression it's self.. I really <3 those two. I met them along time ago. Lady Larriel is a very famous RuneScape player who is a 'Player Moderator' which I mentioned before. Everyone thinks she rides on a high horse because she has a silver crown. I put those rumours to rest. She's really great, she is a very powerful and moving person who has a heart of gold. I've never met a person so very kind in my life. She has problems of her own, every day she has to handle these problems. There are people who make fun of her for that, [[something's wrong with them..]] I'm telling you if you got to know this girl better, theres more then her then a 'player-moderator that thinks she owns everyone in 1 shot.' Let's start with Marth. I think he's a really great guy. He has problems of his own. And he's help me gotten through my problems. I try to be there for Marth everytime.. even though he hates when I e-hug him :P.. I still do. He can be grumpy in public..but can be very sweet when he wants too. I don't think I could live on if something happened to these 2..even if you guys say it's just the Internet. It's showed me another side of life. I never really thought there was actually kind people on the Internet. Before I experinced allot of drama... in the past with RuneScape.. I still play it today.. hmm.. maybe I'll tell you some adventures and drama storys later ; ttyl.

~CINDY.

*********************************************************************


© Copyright 2018 angelicaispro. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Other Miscellaneous

Booksie 2018 Poetry Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by angelicaispro

Diary of Cindy.

Miscellaneous / Other

Popular Tags