I really screwed it up this time. Now i'm dead, and I cant move on to the afterlife.Theres still some people who need my help before they'll let me move on.
I woke up lying in a mist of clouds, and in the distance I could hear voices. Many voices, that were pleading for mercy.
" Where am I? " As I rubbed my eyes and wondered how I had got there. I was dressed in a white cotton gown, and there were no shoes upon my feet. Beside me was a golden rod, so I reached for it and helped myself up.
When I stood, I could see clearly over the clouded mist, and before me was a golden gate. It beamed in its glory. Behind the gate was a mansion. A tall three story golden Palace, with enerald and ruby gems embedded into the solid gold structure.
" Someone very important must live here," I thought as I began to walk toward it. The cloud beneath my feet was if I were walking on air. It had no structure, no substance. Even the air was pure. Like water, it had no sense of taste or smell.
As I approached the gate, I suddenly couldn't move. It was like an invisable force held me back. I looked down and could no longer see my feet. I couldn't see my hands, nor the rod I was holding.
Then before me an angel appeared, she didn't speak. Even when I ask her where I was, she was quiet. Then she gently led me through the gates, and down a glorious golden path. Along the path, on both sides were trees that lined the edge of the path. They too, had no structure. The base of the trees were gold, as were the leaves. It was all so beautiful.
Suddenly a loud trumpet sounded, as we entered into the mansion. The angel led me to a magnificent throne. It was lined in various gems throughout it. Upon the throne was a glorious angel. He had a crown of jewels upon his head, but he had no face. I became quite scared.
Then I realized where I was, who he was, and began to tremble. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears to cry. I began to feel a sense of peace come over me. A sense of joy, and love. It radiated from this angel upon the throne.
At that very moment, I knew I was standing before the Lord. The cloud of mist rolled away, and I noticed I had no form. Only my soul stood before him. I wasn't scared anymore, only confused. Everything I had ever known, or ever felt disappeared with my body.Leaving my soultoremain.
The Lord began to speak in a voice as loud as thunder, and he began to open up a book. A large book. Upon the cover of the book engraved in bold and golden marks, were the words " book of life." My life.
He studied the book, and said, " Your every thoughts are upon these pages. Your every breath i've written down." He spoke directly to me, " Do not speak through your spirit, child. Let your spirit speak to me, through you." He warned me.
" Forgive me, Lord. I dont understand." I told him, trying to make since of it all.
" I have already warned you, " he said angerily. " Let thy spirit speak to me, child."
I realized at that moment, he could read my thoughts, and I understood what he meant. " Sorry Lord."
He explained to me, that he had been going over my book of life while Ihadbeensleeping. " There are people who still need your help before I can let you move on."
" Move on? " I questioned, but caught myself. ' I must be careful what I say." I thought to myself, and realized I shouldn't have.
The Lord let it go, this time.
" Then I truly am dead? " My spirit spoke directly to him.
" Have you no faith, my child? " He asked concerned. " This is not a dream." He informed me.
Many angels were standing around and had began to giggle at the very thought of me thinking it a dream. They too, had once stood where i'm standing now.
" Forgive me, Lord. I didn't realize I was even dead, until now." I explained sadly.
" It is not your time to cross over. You are not prepared for the afterlife." He told me sternly." I will give you a second chance to help these people. You have twenty-four hours, and then I will allow you to cross over to the afterlife." Those were the Lords final words, and suddenly, I was lying on my bed.
I slowly opened my eyes, and beside me was an empty pill bottle. Paramedics were pumping my chest with C.P.R, and sticking me with needles. I quickly yanked them from my arms, and sat up.
They looked at me surprised, and then at one another. They couldn't believe I had lived through a whole bottle of sleeping pills, but I did. My parents were standing in the doorway, and quickly ran to my side, when they realized I was alright. " Lori, sweetheart. You gave us a scare. Are you alright? " My mom cried.
' I'm fine mom.' I told her dazed. Dad was next to me, and took me in his arms." Honey, I'm so glad your ok."
The officer on the scene, advised my parents, he would have to report this as a suicide attempt, and it was. But the bottle next to me wasn't what had done me in, " I was dead." I thought to myself.I realized this was my second chance to make things right, and help those people who needed me.
I just wasn't sure who those people were. I only knew I was suppose to be helping them at the same time I was attempting suicide. The pills I had taken, were a stronger dose than the ones they found, and they never even knew I had taken those. I had taken enough of them to kill a horse. I was totally dead, and now I felt so stupid and selfish.
I told my parents I wanted to be alone, and they agreed, but that they wouldn't be far. When everyone left, I got down on my knees and prayed. I ask the Lord to give me some kind of sign, that would give mea clue to who it was I'm suppose to help.
An hour had passed, and I was still pleading to him to give me a sign. I remembered what he told me. " Have faith, my child. "
So, I prayed for him to forgive me for what I had done, and suddenly a piece of paper fell from my nightstand and landed in my hand. I looked at it. It was an invitation to Jesse's birthday party. I wodded it up and threw it in the trash can.
" He's the reason for all this," I cried. " Why would I want to go to his party. He's hurt me enough."
Suddenly I got the urge to go get it out of the trash. I couldn't explain it, but I felt the need to go to the party. I glanced at the clock. It read six-thirty. The party was at five o-clock. " Its too late,' I thought and threw the invitation away again.
I continued to pray, when suddenly the room begain to spin. I got scared and jumped in my bed and hid beneath the blanket." Whats happening! " I yelled from beneath them. Then suddenly it stopped. I peeked out and noticed everything was still in place. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except for my clock. The time was changed. It wasn'tthetimeit was suppose to be.
The clock read six-thirty. I took the pills at five o-clock, but now it reads three o-clock. " What the heck is going on! " I screamed inside my mind.
I must begoing crazy," I am crazy. Why else would I try to kill myself. I have to find out."
I ran down thestairs and checked every single clock we had. They all read the same time. " Mom! " I yelled. " What time is it.? "
Mom replied, " Five minutes after five. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes dear."
I was beside myself, " this just cant be! " I questioned myself. " Maybe it was my second chance and the Lord was doing this." I didn't question it anymore, I just went with it." I dont want to go to hell. I want to cross over and spend eternity in heaven."
I ran back up stairs and got the invitation out of the trash, and began to get dressed. I was going to that party, I had to. I was driven to go. It was a quarter after six, so I got my keys and drove to Jesse's house. All the way there, I thought about all the things the Lord had said to me. About my faith, and the things he had written in my book of life. I no longer wanted to kill myself. It was wrong, and now I had a chance to make it right." But how, I still wasn't sure who it was I'm suppose to help or when."
I finally made it to Jesse's house. There were several cars parked outside, which told me the party had already started. I got out and went inside. There was a strong odor of gas.Not the kind you put in your vehicle, but the type you use in your home. Everyone was dancing as I stood at the door. I couldn't see Jesse through the crowd of drunken teens.
I looked around. There were a few people passed out here and there, but I assumed they were passed out from drinking too much. I noticed the liquor bottles weren't that empty, but the thought never crossed my mind it was the gas, not at that moment anyway.
I started to walk through the crowd of teens and headed for the kitchen. The closer I got the stronger the smell of gas. " Something is terribly wrong! " I thought, as I walked into the kitchen. On the floor, and across the counter, Jesse and some of his friends lay passed out. I ran over to him." Jesse! " I shouted. " Wake up! You have to get out of here!" I screamed. The people in the livingroom heard my screams and came running in. " Help me! Please! We have to get out of here."
After finally getting everyone out safely, and into the freash air, they began to wake up. Just as Jesse woke, the house exploded.
The flying debris flew through the air and a piece landed in my chest. I fell to the ground next to Jesse. He put me in his arms," Lori, baby. Please dont go." He begged in tears. " I'm so sorry for everything. I love you, Lori."
I looked into Jesse's eyes, and they were truly sincere." I love you too, Jesse. You'll never know how much I loved you." I told him as Ilooked up into the night sky. In my mind I could hear the call of angels, and above them was that familar voice I had heard earlier. ' Well done, my child." I heardthe voicesay. " Now come home."
I wasn't scared anymore, but I felt a sense of peace. A sense of joy and tranquility. The Lord gave me my second chance, and now I was ready to cross over. " Thank you Lord," I whispered and drifted off to sleep.
Once again I stood before the Lord. I opened my eyes and this time I could see his face. It was most beautiful, and glorious. He handed me my golden rod,and gave me my wings. Above my head was a golden halo. The Lord smiled at me, and allowed me to cross over.
Without my second chance, I would have been lost forever. Those people would have died, had it not been for my second chance, and now I am finally happy. Eternity in heaven is so glorious, and I found my faith. Faith in the Lord, that he can do anything. Change anything. Turn anyone around. Even second chancers like me.
© Copyright 2016 angellynn. All rights reserved.
Poem / Poetry
Poem / Religion and Spirituality
Poem / Poetry
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