MONSTER IN A BOTTLE
I wake up to the slamming of the door, gripping my pillow tightly. I pray, "God ! Please don't let him be drunk again."
I haven't completely healed from the last nightmare, It didn't take much to set him off. Just a simple thing, like him not wanting chicken for dinner. I haven't left the house for three weeks. I'm too scared someone may notice the bruises, and ask questions. I love my husband with all my heart, but the monster inside the bottle calls for him... It seems so unfair that something so legal, can be so very lethal. The bottle is a weapon, and the monster inside is the ammunition. Seeking its prey, not stopping until it has completely escaped its cage, and consumed its victim. Taking control of the victim, and releasing its destruction upon another victim. I tip toe when he is here. I`m scared to make conversation for fear his mood may change, and mistake it for insult. Yet, If I ignore the monster, he thinks I am mad, and then there's hell to pay.
My husband has many friends in the liquor cabinet. I cant tell you how many times I've wanted to take them, and just pour out their vile content into the drain. But I don't, I`m not ready to die, Not just yet. My mind tells me," kill the monster," but my heart says," he's your husband, You love him."
I hear Tom in the kitchen. I relax while I have the chance, knowing soon... He will come to bed. I don't question his whereabouts, I don't really care anymore. I don't refuse his sexual desire, because the refusal only leads to," who have you been giving it to? " Then ends up in painful intercourse. He rolls over, not a word. I`m left with bruising, and humility. This is a good night....
He finally passes out. I run to the bathroom, and shower away the fowl scent. I cry, and scrub away as much of the monster as I can. I`m so sore, I can hardly stand it. I dressed, and went to the kitchen. Still dazed from the treatment of the monster, I opened the utensil drawer. I reached in, and grabbed the largest knife I could find. I stood there, just holding it. Then I thought," I cant do this. I`m not strong enough." I walked round, and round the table.
I remembered we had a small hand gun, It hadn't been used for quite some time, but Tom keeps it cleaned." It should still be in the study," I thought, as I made my way to the study. Being as quiet as I could, not to wake the monster. Tom hadn't been asleep long enough to be himself. I opened the drawer, and there it was...
Tom taught me how to use a gun years ago. He used to laugh, and say..." Its like riding a bike honey, once you learn you never forget." I grabbed the gun, and loaded it.
I slowly walked back to our bedroom.,the monster was still asleep. I stood there, just staring at him. My mind was racing, remembering all the abuse. Humility, and the pain. It made me angry. I was no longer me, but this revengeful monster, that consumed me. I pulled the hammer back, It made a clicking sound, that woke the monster. He sat up in bed, surprised to see me standing there, he sneered at me. Then suddenly he changed into Tom, just as I pulled the trigger.
I'll never forget the look on the monsters face, and will forever mourn, the lose of my dearest Tom.
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