feelimg of lonlyness grows in me everyday continualy, i'm starting to pull myself apart from everyone who loves me, i feel like being alone most of the time, i try to hang out with friends at school but i always end up having the same feeling of not belonging, as being an outsider, a tag along who doesn't belong. i feel like a lonely blue rose that's growing between thousands of red roses; i don't feel welcomed around people although not many people hate me. i don't understand why i'm doing this to myself - i don't understand myself. but i know what i mostly need right now; i need a best friend yes a best friend, yah sure i have friends- that i don't talk to much anymore- but i don't need friendsjust friends, ineed a best friend, but everytime i found a best friend in the past i lost them. so now everytime i'm about to find a best friend i pull myself apart from them right away fearing i might lose them like the others before ...
i feel so bored, so empty, so lifeless, so colourless. i feel like my white and black drawings, i feel like a lost small piont on a huge graph in math class, i feel like... like distroying everything, i feel so angry for no particular reason, i wanna move along ang forget all the pain but yet everytime i trythis darkness, a coldabandoned part in me backs me of, like an unbreakable stone wall with no path to pass through to get to the good side the bright side...
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