As I lay restlss on my bed
My eyes shut deeply
My ears listen sharply
voices play from every direction
I feel so lost...
I hear myself everywhere in different personalities
I'm not sure where I am
I don't know who I am
To the left I'm loud, hyper, and out going
To the right, I'm shy, drown in, and alone
Over there I'm laughing, talking, and dancing
Over here I'm crying, so empty, and so cold
But... I'm still lost...
There is no real me
I feel fake... a deseased body present on the outside
But on the inside, there remains nothing...
Nothing but a stormy cloud blowing
My life, it's a black shadow of hope
I'm so numb, but not as numb as I want to be
I feel nothing, but I feel only the pain...
Coming back to reality, I find myself in bed
I want to sleep to make the pian stop for a short time
But everytime I close my eyes and drift away...I dream of memories
Memories waking me up with more pain
And here I go again...
Thinking that no one wants to be with me
Thinking that I'm not the way people want me to look and act
Thinking if I look good for anybody
Thinking if I'll ever be good enough for anybody
I feel like I'll never know...
I'm a prisonar in my own mind
And all I can do is...
Cry silently...cry inside myself.
© Copyright 2016 angelmona. All rights reserved.