I stared, like I never did before, as empty as I could ever managed to do with this human face, this skin that was covering my insides, the ones that wanted to come out and be free from so much flesh. I can’t believe what was happening to me, and the weakness of my heart to support it. For many a loss is something to live on, for me this loss was consuming me, converting me into someone I didn’t knew. Have you ever felted that your body is too heavy? That your steps passed from what they were supposed to walk? I discovered that we are always, forever learning. Our hearts never grow old for pain. The funny thing is that I just didn’t know what I have lost would awaken in me something that has a connection with all organic matter in this universe. All paths are written they say, all things come and go I have read somewhere. Things happen with a purpose I recall hearing. When my ears weren’t like this, capturing sounds inhumanely, when my heart wasn’t like this, covered by a metal that is of no material from this earth. I know I am ready to strike at the demons that surround us, because this new eyes can see, because this new hands can kill…
Earth, sweet heart… Did you miss me?
A normal day would be to go to work, and after to college. To receive a call from my parents, to chill with my friends, to talk about everything just anything healthy enough to make us evade the fact that earth is pissed and wants us to go away. Earthquakes and weather deceases that definitely are on the newspapers we ignored while we were walking to our favorite hanging spot. As I always look with my rolling eyes into the nothing because I am tired of all new and old on this same city. Mathew lets his short wavy hair let the sun take the best of it. The redness of his hair dances with the rays of light on this hideous heat that makes me sweat so ridiculously! My whiteness just can’t take this while his sun tan skin says is just fine… he looks at me -24 years old and you still cry like a baby!!!- I just laugh and smirk at his cocky attitude. As always I don’t need to talk my face has the million words there is needed to be said. Comet, at my other side, is the type of guy that is quiet, weird and confusing in so many ways. He is white like me, the type of white that just hides from the sun, the type of people that would use an umbrella to protect the color they love. He has a moderate mohak in brown and blond, skinny jeans as his body and scary tall 6,5 for a 5,2 like me. He has the right hand always covered with a glove and a obsession with clocks and time making him say while looking at his clock –We are a lil too latee…!- I stare at him with my exaggerated face expression making him pout. Then the cheerily sharp voice of Faith at my back says –Why you have any worry… there is nowhere to go but home- always pointing forward or at the sun. She has long wavy hair on perfect dark golden locks that goes so perfect with her freckles and yellowed skin. Her white boots and jean skirt made her look like a blonde while fixing her jazz like hat on the reflection of the AX store. –Hey… another feather- I say while they seem to be too busy to hear me. I been collecting them since they started appearing randomly anywhere I walk thru. Knowing myself later I’ll go to my laptop back at home to search of which bird belongs to. Starlet that was at Faith’s side plays with his psp ignoring not only me but the whole world till we get to Sasha’s grill. Damn he only thinks on books and games. All he does is reading, everything, and anything; when he knows all the books he possesses then goes to gaming. Don’t get me wrong; although he is a little too nerdy his looks are model like. The type of interesting guy that will know all subjects has a limo and a mansion but is bored so he comes out just because. Good athletic body, even thou Mathew is more like the brat beach muscle guy; Starlet has it all hidden with his proper clothes. His hair short, light brown that perfectly goes with his normal white skin, not too shade to be sun tan jet. But yeah… these brothers and I meet on the first day at college and we never got separated ever since. They all weirdly live on a big house out of town with themselves. Their parents died and left them everything, house, cars and money. I guess they like me because the thing I less expect to care about is their money. I mean I live on an apartment I pay myself, with my parents help till I graduate. Why I have taken long on my studies? For that same money problem I seem to care less every minute that passes by. Oh God these brothers got to love me to walk with me to Sasha’s instead of using a car. Is so funny seeing them on the bus system, Faith hates dirt so she just pretends not to be there, Mathew stares at all the girls there can be around, Comet looks thru the glass window, and Starlet gasps at the bus driver every time he drives unsafely. After all this, we are on Sasha’s door step and the reward smell just dances on our noses. I can see everyone’s mouth watering faces and smiles of joy –Oh Lord my diet! - Faith says on her praising ways. I just laugh as always all the way to the bar. I wave at Sasha for my usual beer and she smirks back filling five jars. Me… I am a common girl/woman, my hair wavy black, my body not skinny not fat. I can stay so frozen solid on a spot that if I move people gets scared thinking I was a mannequin, and my voice is easily ignored with other noises. I have no attitude and the calming ways of tolerance, the soothing ways of patience. So I thought…
-So… Mathew stuffs his mouth like he never ate in his fucking life!- Comet lets his worry out. -Well I’m outside for my smoke, you better make him stop before I fucking take him out of the house and ignore his existence! - And laughs with a bark. –I believe pretty Halo will clean my mouth; won’t you do me that favor? - Mathew stares at me with BBQ sauce on his lips. –Ewwwwwwwwwwww… no way mister, your problem!- I say too drunk to point at him straight. Then I wonder after these months –Say guys… why you four are sooo weird? Seriously… I can’t put my finger on it. I think you don’t even have to study. I mean you are in between 20 to 24? You should be traveling, my opinion…- Starlet takes his eyes out of the psp… -What! Make any sense on what you say Halo. You can’t even look at me straight. Only when you are drunk YOU get to this weird conversations!- I felted offended and raised my voice -Say no more Starlet let’s start with you and Comet’s names!- while Comet enters the bar -Haha! Did I miss something?!- Faith giggles back at Comet - Let it happen that this is turning as always goooodd!!- Comet looks at her back -Faith I think we should make Halo stop drinking… seriously!- I give up as I rest myself on the chair –Is just that it feels like home, all that I choose, all that I do, every person I accept in my life but you guys seem out of the world I am used to… still you fit like a perfect family. Is that fucked up…? I think is fucked up- I smirk to the jar of beer as the ice melts with the cracking sound. I knew it was silent because I could hear the ice. When I raise my head they all stare at me with weird faces. I felted out of place right there, because I was expecting them to look at me like a weirdo, not like if I really belonged in their lives. –And well… this is for me (as I stretch my arms and legs) I got to go, got to search whose bird this feather is, got to check my internet buddies, got to check where the fuck this biology professor wants me to search for this blood stream on the fucking urinary system and yatta yaataa blablabla…- as I walk outside of Sasha’s Grill with my drunk grin at the sun’s murderer and her stars, the few ones I can see with this city lights. –If you think you are going to your apartment alone you are having some brain issues missy!- says Comet holding my shoulders. Faith looks at me like I got to take the others home and Comet just walks at my side. I noticed that the lights of the city are brighter when you are drunk. The water that accumulates at the sidewalk is colorful of oils and substances I can’t tell. Taxis nonstop try to make their daily pickups and Comet never stops staring at the top of the ceilings and the back of the people that surround us. While we reach to a dark area I ask –What do you see? Why you always have so much words untold on your face?- As he stares at me with million alien expressions he opened his mouth to me only, for the first time, with no one around but us to speak –Heh… why your questions are always the hardest to start with? And the impossible to answer back?- I look back bothered –Why can’t you just speak up, maybe someone will know how to hear you right (I laugh) it doesn’t have to be me… But let’s say you like someone… Comet you are 24, not a child anymore. You have to speak up (I softly punch him on the shoulder) - He stops walking and stares at the moon while I kept walking slowly hearing from him a sad melodic voice –It’s a timeless dance, a waltz with no sound, an eternal tone, breathtaking, that governs your movements. You are on an immortal debt with her… what do you do to save it?- Something rose my back as I stop walking afraid of looking. Feathers, black as crows fell around me. While I grab one and turns to dust, I feel my eyes losing sight. Everything turns blurry and my body becomes too heavy to stand. I let myself fall; I feel big hands holding my waist. Too tired to be awake I let myself go…
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