Instead, I Said

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
An ugly custody battle with my daughter's father and myself brings heart break and anger. I hurt for her so badly today.

Submitted: September 16, 2012

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Submitted: September 16, 2012



When I saw you yesterday I wanted to scream,
I wanted to say to you "How dare you come back into her life after three years of barely a message to her even on Facebook.
You've missed two birthdays and two Christmas's not to mention, you can't even make a phone call? But,
Instead, I said,

"There, Miranda, there's your Dad! Go give him a hug!"

Miranda dropped all of her things and ran up to you and gave you a hug.
She had tears in her eyes so big and got your shoulder all wet from crying.
I wanted to yell and scream at you, "Do you know how precious this child is?
Did you hold her and listen to her cry at night every night that you've not been
there? Does she walk up to you and say I need a hug? Does she tell you how heart broken she is every time you break a promise to her? Do you have not one ounce of common sense in you to know that being a father is not a choice?
It's an honor!" But,
Instead I said,

"Sure you can go to your Grammie's with your Daddy, Miranda. Call Mama when you get there!"

I wanted to yell and scream at you,
"When you took her last time do you know the heart ache I went through every night,
You wouldn't let me contact her, talk to her and you even refused to give any letters to her in
which I wrote,
You said it would make her too angry when in reality it was just making her angry that I wasn't
contacting her and I wasn't seeing her. She didn't know why. " But,
Instead, I said,

"What time will she be home tomorrow?"

I saw Miranda happily get into the back seat of the van because she was finally seeing her Daddy.
You finally came for her after three long awaited years. After she left millions of messages on your phone. She long awaited for answers to them and nothing. Then all of a sudden you show up on our doorstep and want to take her to her Grandparents anniversary party? My daughter looked at me with pleading alligator tears and said "Mama can I go?" I wanted to say 'no Miranda please don't go!' But,
Instead, I said,

"Have a nice time honey!"

She opened the car door back up and got out. She ran to me and gave me a hug and said, "Thank you Mama! I love you! I will see you tomorrow!"

I looked at you and wanted to say "If you don't bring her back to me you will be so sorry. You won't know what happened. If she sheds one tear because of this I will come back and rip your heart out at the seams. You and your co-heart in crime of a wife will land your butt in jail due to kidnapping. I hate you and hate everything about you and everything
you stand for. I hate you for hurting me and I hate you for hurting our daughter. But,
Instead, I said,

"I love you Miranda! I will see you tomorrow!"

© Copyright 2017 Angie Blake. All rights reserved.

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