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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Try to hold me back. I dare you. But I am walking. I will enter those waters...

Submitted: May 19, 2015

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Submitted: May 19, 2015



Try to hold me back.  I dare you.  But I am walking.  I will enter those waters.  I will run into the waves.  I will let them crash over me.  And I will sink down into the depths of the sea. Try to hold me back.

I used to be much stronger than as of now.  I am too fragile to continue.  You may hate me.  You may wish I was not your own.  All I can think of in this moment is my heartbeat in my head.  It is aching.  I need to quench the fire.  I will quench it.  Try to hold me back.

I remember my childhood with ease, like the back of my hand.  It was pleasant enough I suppose.  I only wish I had found who I was before now.  But here I stand, confronting my failure, confronting my weakness.  But I will confront me.  Try to hold me back.

I am sure that this will leave you in disarray.  You always let your heart guide your actions.  I had the unfortunate luck of receiving this trait.  But it is more than my emotions driving me here.  It is my conviction.  I must walk into the water.  Try to hold me back.

I was so resurgent.  I tried over and over to be the person everyone expected me to be.  But it wasn’t me.  The truth is, I have no idea who that person is.  Perhaps she is still in my mind.  But I will find her here in this ocean.  Try to hold me back.

I have been calm and not any trouble.  I have been quiet and submissive.  And even still, I cannot control the rage that burns within me.  The only way to resolve it is to end it.  I will end it.  Try to hold me back.

I am like a shaking leaf in this moment, but I do not mind.  I will not be defeated by the wind which tries to combat me, beckoning me to consider my actions.  I have no need to consider, the battle will be over.  My foot will touch the ripples.  Try to hold me back.

I seek the clear air which is lurking above.  That atmosphere of clarity which I have never been able to attain.  But I shall attain it.  Try to hold me back.

I am breathing hard like a horrid disgusting creature.  My legs shake and I wonder if I won’t fall into the water before walking into it.  I force my head to stay upright  I clench my teeth and await the frigid clear substance to wash away my troubles forever.  I will be rid of them all.  Try to hold me back.

And yet, my feet will not move.  No matter how hard I try, they are stuck to the sand, like glue to paper.  I feel helpless and finally my dizziness takes over.  My body crashes to the ground and I fall like a weak invalid.  I am weak.  The realization comes over me like the waves which boom in my ears.  I can’t even take my own life.  Tears spring to my eyes as I look up at the sky.  The clouds are coming.  Wet, musky air is around me, almost suffocating my breath.  I only stare at the sky.  I cannot face defeat.  I am defeat.  I hear someone behind me, with calm breaths like the wind which now stirs around me.  He asks if I am well.  I only look at the sky and whisper.  Try to hold me back.  

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