blinded by tears

Reads: 266  | Likes: 6  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
when you are being hurt over and over by someone you just don't realise it until someone has to repeatedly point it out and you sit crying over and over again day by day.

Submitted: February 15, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 15, 2016

A A A

A A A


Sitting alone blinded by tears you don't really notice how badly someone repeatedly hurts you, until the point when you are physically broken and feel worthless. The unpleasant thoughts rushing through your head clouding your judgement. Making you think of the worst possible things and for that slight moment you almost go through with it. You wonder if it is all worth it, all worth the pain and tragedy you suffer just because of those four words “I Don't really care”. When you spill your heart out to someone and they don't bother with you or make you feel more worthless is more stressful and makes you more broken or to read the words from a message saying “ I really couldn't care about what you have to say to be quite frank”. Those words destroy a person, Those words cause people to want to hurt themselves or worst kill themselves, is that really how people should be treated. The fact that the majority of the teenage population cry themselves to sleep most nights because they can't live with all the pain. They just want it all to stop, but, no one helps they just stand on by and watch like pathetic cowards. How would you feel if this was your child going through all this pain, crying constantly, depressed and only having those words run through their head. Little words like those can change a whole persons life, we may not notice when the words come out our mouths, but, maybe.. just maybe the next time you say something to some one that hurts them they could do so much damage not to just themselves but also to their family.

 

People lay awake most nights wondering what they did wrong, wondering what they could have done to become a better person? You try to stay positive when people blame you for things you didn't do then when your so called best friend says things that they know would hurt you and walks away. The factor people let others go through this day to day is sickening, the thought of your words damaging another. When you say those harmful words it may not look like it is hurting the person on the outside but what they don't realise is how it is killing the person on the inside to become a better person, to do better than what they were before.

 

In the end you just end up missing the person more and more thinking that the one important thing in your life could just disappear in a heart beat and just not come back and help you nor even say a word to you. You begin to think how long it will be before something goes wrong so you try not to say the wrong thing so instead you sit in silence hoping that everyone will get on with their lives but soon people begin to ask “ Are you okay?” seriously one of the most daily phrases but most pathetic ones honestly no were not okay but we don't want to admit it so we keep all our emotions to our selves which ends up deteriorating our own body on the inside because of the way we acted, which makes it seem so stupid and bizarre. You wonder if the next day will be completely different but its not,it turns out to be the act same or worse but you pick your head up and carry on walking because it is the best thing to do to try get on with your life.

 

Although that is impossible when you deal with so many health issues that you struggle to even go to school and do the course work, The teachers constantly telling you that your effort isn't good enough and you need to do more. But when you do more it physically drains you out but they think you are using some excuse, so they yell in your face because of your poor quality of work, in your mind you do care you are failing your courses but you still have faith that something good will happen. Not everything may be good, just like the tearful Thursdays in drama when everyone just has a mental break down due to all the stress that they are going through, its over wealming, but the toughest thing is trying to tell your teacher and class mates that yet again you have to go back to hospital so you are letting them down again with only a month to go to the exam and you know nothing, but, you push yourself to teach yourself the work in the short period of time praying it would work and that you would pass the course. Then again that is just some fantasy the reality been hooked in another bed with no ability to move apart from your hands as you type this ridiculously horrendous memoir ( well I don't actually know what to call it as such)


© Copyright 2019 anniebirnie. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: