Sunday, August 11,2013 7:29 pm

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A brief description of my family and my odd relationship with my cousin.

Submitted: August 11, 2013

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Submitted: August 11, 2013

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I have a pretty large family: 3 parents, 9 siblings, 10 grandparents, 22 aunts and uncles, 31 cousins, 2 nephews, and a niece or nephew on the way. That’s simply my 1st cousins and uncles and aunts too. There are five sides to me family: Dad’s side; Mom’s Side; my step dad, Cam’s side; Beth, my dad’s first wife after my mom’s side; and Lauren, my dad’s second wife after my mom’s side. I love them all, though I don’t see many of them much. I live with my mom, Cam, and my brother who doesn’t belong to me dad, but thinks he does, Drew.

 

I have one cousin, Paul, who’s closest to me in age of all my cousins. He’s three months older than I, and we talk all the time. When we were younger we didn’t associate much. Actually, I avoided him as much as possible. When we were about four or five his family was spending the night at my house, and being so young, our parents didn’t think anything of putting him in the same room as me and Drew. Drew went to sleep quickly and Paul and I stayed up. We decided to play truth or dare. Now he is my first full blood cousin. And at that age I would do just about any dare I was given. Well one of the dares he gave me was to French kiss him. At the time I didn’t know what that was and asked, so he showed me. I learned to make out from my cousin.

 

After I figured out what had happened, I avoided him. Then when my parents divorced, him being on my dad’s side of the family, I rarely saw him. Then a couple years ago he went to juvi. His mother claims it was for sexually molesting his brother, but I don’t believe her. She’s a compulsive liar and if he had done that then his current living situation would not be allowed. I believe his story, which is possession of drugs…several times.

 

Unfortunately, because of his moms lies, when he got out, most of the family quit talking to him. I started talking to him again; I wanted to find out what really happened. He told me and over the past few years we’ve grown really close. We talk all the time, and we don’t have secrets from each other. Today we were talking and I was on facebook, where I came across some statistics about incest. So then we were on the topic of which ones of our family members we would have sex with and why. His answer was a half sister, on the other side of his family. I had two answers, one of my stepbrothers and then him.

 

He makes me feel safe and he’s one of the few people I trust, plus he’s kind of attractive. Then that conversation continued for a while and I realized something. Saying I have a crush on him, could be proven pretty easily. I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that I write letters. I only write letters to guys I like and then I don’t give them to the guys. They’re my way of venting my feelings, without having to worry about anyone’s criticism. And well, I’ve written one to Paul, about year ago, but I still wrote one. I’ve never really thought about it until today, but it’s simply the truth, I have a crush on my cousin. I guess that makes me weird, but then everything about me is supposedly weird.


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