The sun's rays beat down on my cheek. The warm breeze stirs my hair, blowing it across my face. I feel the prickling ends of the grass' blades along my exposed legs as I sit. The sky overhead is a perfect summer time blue, and fluffy white clouds are scattered among it. I made my trek through the wood this morning, but I'm not sure what time it is now. I know that if I cross back through the trees, my home will be on the other side.
My home. I used to think that the only home in the world for me would be that one, the one that had my parents' smiling faces and my siblings' company. I would never of guessed that he would become another home. I didn't expect to find solace in his presence and sorrow in his absence. From the moment I first spoke to him, I knew that things wouldn't ever be the same.
Crazy, right? That I could fall so hard for someone that I haven't known that long. Isn't that how it happens in the movies? Isn't that how I've always imagined myself falling in love? I was hesitant at first. Fear stopped me from going after what I really wanted. But I quickly realized that he was put in my path as a gift. I'm a big believer in the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. I didn't find him sooner because I wasn't meant to find him. I suppose I wasn't as ready as I needed to be.
He makes me laugh without even trying. He makes me feel beautiful. Not just physically, but spiritually. He makes my soul feel beautiful. When he talks to me, I take every word in, as if it were the oxygen I need to breathe. He could talk about any topic in the world, and I'd listen; his favorite books, books he hated, what he's passionate about, his dreams.
I gave him everything I have to give, and I know he cherishes those things. And I believe he's given me all of himself, too. It takes an incredible amount of courage to do that, especially in the world we live in. But I'm so glad we did.
He has become a permanent part of me, a part that I couldn't live without. I wake up in the morning, excited to face the day, because I know that he'll be there. I know that he'll always be there. When I imagine my future, I see him there. I see our entire life in my head, from our wedding to relaxing nights in, gray hair by our side. I see him playing out in the yard with our son or daughter. I see the nights we stay up talking, too great in number to count. I see us being there for each other, lifting each other up, whenever life gets too hard to handle on our own.
This is real, more real than anything I've ever felt in my life. This is it. And I'll do whatever I have to do to get to him. Whatever it takes. I look up, and see that the sky is dimming. I let myself fall back, sigh, and let my mind run wild with more thoughts of him.
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