And I Feel

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is it, One more Plea for help that will NEVER be heard.

Submitted: July 11, 2013

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Submitted: July 11, 2013

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And I Feel

By: Austin Garber

 

I don’t even try? I don’t even try to help? I don’t even try to stop the knife my room from stabbing my heart! You ignorant fool, you’re blinding by you’re so called truth.

Very well, do you really want to know? Do you really want to have the satisfaction of knowing you all have done before I pull the trigger on my life?

LOOK AT ME! Look at me an open mind!!

“You only care about yourself, you only want to sit around and play video games.” You don’t even know, all I’ve done for people, what I would have done to keep things alive. I hate you all! You say you know me so well, FUCK YOUR IGNORANT MIND! You don’t know anything! You don’t know and you don’t care!

Best friends turn out to be liars and gossipers. Family members are nothing but ignorant hypocrites who (Just because they live with you) think they know the real you and what is going on.  Yeah Mom and Dad, you guys know, or at least you should, but you’re too stupid to even notice.

All you so called “Friends” out there? Haha you really like all I am is a depressed teenager looking for attention? Oh how I wish I never met a single one of you, you stuck up, ignorant and insensitive assholes! You say I’m like a brother to you when it’s just us, but with a crowd you’re a fucking hypocrite! You avoid me because you’re embarrassed to be with me!

I want to put a bullet in my head, I want to hear the gun shot and the fade to black as i make you cry over my pathetic body.  You never knew what you’ve done, but it’s too late, you’ve made a monster! Enjoy you’re master demon you’ve created.

I used to want to fight for someone, “Be mine” she said. HAHA they don’t know but I still cry every night, that how much she meant! That’s how far I would have gone for her. That was back in march, and ive cried every night since. How many more weeks must I have bloodshot eyes and I look at the best Valentine’s Day present in the face. I hear the voice it’s shadow, and It’s driving me to hell cause even relationships are lies! Feelings are only for the moment in this world anymore, THEY DON’T MEAN A THING TO ANYONE!

And I feel as if I will die, and never get to look her in the eye, and make her smile, to tell her I never stopped caring for her.

And I feel as if i’m doing to do insane, because my friends are too blind to see, and understand, and FEEL THE PAIN OF BEING ALONG!

And I feel as if I’m falling down, and I’ll never hit bottom, it’s so dark, I CAN’T SEE ANYMORE!

And I feel……As if I have failed…

BECAUSE I HAVE!

 


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