I let you come into my heart like open doors. I let you see my past like novel. You entered into the deepest parts of my soul, and there you killed me.
I let you stay with me like a child scared in a storm. You took my trust and used it against me to get all you could from me, and then you show the world. I led you into my inner circle, my past, my present. You know who I am, you know who I was. All because of your deception, you killed me.
At last you reached my core. The inner core of my soul, all my trust, all my love, all my faith was yours.
I trusted you, and you took it and used it to kill me. You were my friend, I loved you. Why do you hate me!? Do you want to see cuts on my arms? No, you want a gun to my head!!
I told you the deepest thoughts from the core of my heart because YOU lied to me!!! I told you things I shouldn’t have, but you tricked me!! And now this night I will sit in the corner of my room and bleed alone.
I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN!
You have no idea how much I want to be free again. I want to love and be loved again. I’m sick of people talking behind my back because of YOU! At first I thought I was going to make it. But now that gun is so tempting.
Flesh was not to sever, with a knife I took back control of my fate!!! You have no idea what you’ve done to me. You’re a liar just like the rest!!!
I led you to my core, I gave you everything, and I thought you wouldn’t betray me. Now I’m about to give in. I’ll kill myself before you can kill me. Oh wouldn’t you like to cut my heart out and throw it on the street!? You enjoy my pain.
Oh someone call my name and save me from myself!!! Call my name and save me from the blade! I’m going under, I honestly can’t hold on much longer.
Every day I think of suicide. Every other day I actually pull out a knife, but I can never complete it. If you really want me dead, just say it!!! My heart is broken, my soul is cracked, and my love is gone. And I’ll die. All alone, nobody will be there to stop me. I can’t go on living this way!!!! Once I’m dead you can stop hating and go back to being people. I’m sick of crying, tired of trying. Inside I’m dying.
Can’t you see who I am!? I once was a boy who loved, I once had faith. I was a happy person, I loved living. Look into my eyes real hard, and you’ll see it. I don’t want to die, suicide isn’t good. I’m so scared to even try. I’ve tried more than four times. One of those times I was sure I was going to die. But here I am to be broken another day. Aghhh the voices in my head tell me to go ahead and kill myself, but something else pulls me away.
To my friends out there (or what’s left of them) I love you. You’re the only family I have. Don’t….. Don’t leave. You’re the only thing that’s keeping me alive. I want to make it to that autumn day in the park. I’m sorry if this hurts any of you. But this is all true. I’m trying my hardest to stay alive. God is out there, he will rescue me. Before it’s too late to save my core.
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