Disaster Dinner

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Disaster Dinner is about a man who hates his job and is looking for some excitement. He takes the opportunity of going to dinner with his boss in order to discuss his career when his wife who can't handle her drinking reveals all of his secrets about his job.

Submitted: June 04, 2012

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Submitted: June 04, 2012



My head lunged up as the piercing sound I so desperately needed every morning overcame me.  I moved too quickly, all I could see were stars and my head fell immediately back on-to my pillow.  It was in this moment every morning that I overlooked my life with regret.  Why didn’t I try harder as a kid?  Look at where I am now, I’m 42 years old and I’ve been working at the same dead beat job for almost 20 years now.  I need a change, I need something more exciting; a reason to wake up in the morning and look forward to my day.  The best I could expect right now would be a slight raise.  Making more money would spark up my current situation a bit.  I slumped out of bed and made my way to the washroom.  I turned on the shower, grabbed my tooth brush and jumped in.

A knock at the bathroom door interrupted my early morning thoughts.

“Honey, are you almost done in there?” asked my wife.

My wife Mary is the love of my life and I don’t know what I’d do without her.  She and our three children are the reason for my motivation to get up every morning to go spend a full day at a job that I hate.

“Yes, just finishing up,” I yelled.

After my shower, I got dressed for work and made my way downstairs.  Mary had already made a fresh pot of coffee and I noticed her usual glass of whiskey she had every morning on the table.  It had become routine for me to ignore this early morning drinking.  I had tried speaking to her about it several times but the reaction I get from her is never worth bringing the subject up again.  I kissed her goodbye and shouted to my children that I was leaving.

“Bing, I need those papers I gave you finished and filed by 3:00 sharp!” exclaimed my boss.

My boss is the most pompous buffoon I have ever met.  He is inconsiderate, irresponsible, and just a complete asshole!  I hate him with every inch of me, but I know better to show him respect and laugh at his petty and stupid jokes.  I’ve come to believe that he really has no idea what my first name is and that’s the main reason why he calls me ‘Bing’.  I have half a mind to correct him every time I hear it.  My name is Jack you idiot and I’ve been working under you for the last 20 years, not to mention I’m getting dumber by the minute.

“Yes sir.  That will be done,” I replied.

“Oh, and Bing, I’d like to invite you and your lovely wife Mary to dinner tonight.  Would you like to come?”

“Yes sir that would be most enjoyable.  I’ll speak to Mary the moment I get home.”

As promised, as soon as I got home I told Mary the news.

“Why would you agree to go to that?  You can’t even handle seeing him occasionally at work.  You realize you have to spend at least three hours speaking to this man, right?” said Mary.

“Yes I understand that, but I think this is a great opportunity for him to get to know me better and possibly get that raise I’ve been hoping for.  It’s not that big of a deal, just come and make me look good.”

“Alright, but just give me the signal when you’re ready and we’ll get the hell out of there,” she said chuckling slightly while grinning.

Leaving the house, I noticed Mary grabbed her favorite flask and quickly put it in her purse.  I pretended I didn’t see and ignored it for the sake of having another argument.  Throughout the half hour car ride I counted the amount of swigs she took.  By the time we got to my boss’ house, we were well over ten. 

“Bing! Right on time, I like that.  Come inside, dinner is just about ready.”

“Hello sir.  This is my wife Mary,” I said introducing the two.

“Hello Mr. Buffoon!  Tell me a joke.  I promise I’ll laugh!” Mary slurred.

“Ha-ha, oh Mary you’re so funny.  Sorry sir she calls everyone that, it’s just her way of getting to know you.”

I did my best to cover up Mary’s drunken thoughts coming to life, but I was disappointed with my lie.

“Mary, control yourself, I ignored the fact that you had a few drinks before we came but if you ruin this for me I swear I’ll never forgive you,” I muttered to her as my boss took our coats to the closet.

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing sweetie.  Don’t you worry about a thing I’ll be on my best behaviour, just call me Anne Hathaway.”

I really have no idea why I would call her Anne Hathaway; I’m not even sure who the hell that is. 

From here things only got worse.  Mary’s comments at the table exposed my true inner feelings towards my boss.I swear she recited exactly every insult I’d ever said about him, and it baffled me that she was able to remember this while she was wasted but she wasn’t aware that she was about to get me fired.  Fifteen minutes past and by now he was fully aware that he was being insulted.

“Alright Mary, that’s enough.  I’m sorry about this sir, but I don’t think she is feeling well.  I think it’s best if we leave, thank you for dinner though it was amazing,” I said as I was already pulling Mary up off the chair towards the closet.

“Yes Bing…”

“His names Jack!” Mary shouted from inside the closet.

“I think that would be a good idea.  I’d like to see you first thing in the morning on Monday in my office,” he said, completely ignoring Mary’s snide comment.

“Yes sir,” I replied.

The walk out of my boss’ house was a moment I never wanted to remember and Mary’s incessant laughing made it all the more awkward.

Monday came and I didn’t even bother showing up to work.  I spent that day panicking on how I could find a new job.  Maybe this wasn’t so bad for me.  Maybe this was my chance to start something new and add some excitement into my life.  I started looking into a job at AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).  I’ve always been one to kill two birds with one stone. 

© Copyright 2020 anthony94. All rights reserved.

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