The Fall

The Fall

You wouldn’t expect to find love in a hospital waiting room, but sometimes it’s the unexpected that takes your breath away.

It started when I was playing football; a flailing elbow caught me on the bridge of the nose sending me to the floor, then to the hospital. As I sat waiting I took in my surroundings. The clichéd old magazines lay on a nearby table, untouched for weeks, they looked as ill as any of the people in the room. The ceiling lights flickered as the eerie silence bounced off the walls. I sat for thirty minutes before they finally called my name, the bloody tissue remained in my hand through the x-ray, and even when the doctor said there’s nothing they can do for a broken nose. Thirty minutes of my life wasted. I wandered the corridors, looking for the miserable waiting room. That’s when I saw her. Our eyes connected and neither of us wanted to be the first to look away. I stood, unable to move, just looking into her eyes as she looked back into mine. Suddenly the thirty minute wait was worth it. I must have been stood there too long because a nurse approached me and she mumbled at me. I couldn’t hear her though; looking into this mysterious woman’s eyes had made my surroundings completely disappear. It was like we were the only people in the room. The only people in the world. I started slowly walking toward her. The ground turned to jelly and my legs started to shake. I couldn’t believe I felt like this, from one glance, one person had done this to me. Our eyes stayed connected, almost inseparable, like they had a mind of their own and refused to let go of each other. I gazed into her eyes and she just kept holding my eyes to hers. As she looked at me it felt like she was looking right through me. She had this amazing ability to just make you forget everything. Your fears, your wants, your own name. All I wanted at that moment was her name and some form of seeing her again, even if I had to shout from my window for a thousand days in a row just to get her attention. I didn’t need to do that, though. She seemed to have read my mind as she held out a hand and muttered with a smile;

‘Laura’ and that was it. Everything I wanted to know in just that one word.

My memory of that day won’t ever fade; the main thing I remember is the date - the 14th of August; the single best day of my life, nothing was ever going to top the day I met her. The day my life became complete. You may say I was too young to be in love, too young to know it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. There’s no such thing as too young for love. Four years on I still believe that. The time between then and now flew past, we never experienced a proper argument during our relationship, she would sometimes question if I cared, but I always managed to prove myself.

The whole four years up to this day I’ve always felt I didn’t deserve Laura, and always had fears she would move on and do better. They were four amazing years though. We would often walk down to the beach at night and just sit there talking. We would sometimes just lie on the bed, looking into each other’s eyes. When this happened we didn’t need to speak, our eyes just embraced each other’s contact and it made me breathless.

Why was I here then? Two months ago we argued. Laura felt I was talking to another girl too much and told me to stop. I remember weighing up the possibilities to myself, if I stop talking to the other, then I save my relationship, by far the best thing that ever happened to me. But I would also lose my freewill. I refused to stop speaking to her and for a few days I found out why so many people had complained of the pains love brings. I was living on a fear of losing Laura, my life. The worst night of arguing was at my house. I remember that date too, 10th of August. Four days ago.

‘Why can’t you just stop speaking to her?!’ She asked me over and over, the same sentence, and I would always reply with a similar answer. I would explain that I’m allowed friends whether I’m in a relationship or not. Then she said something that left me speechless;

‘It’s me or her.’ Was she serious about making me choose between friends or a relationship? I stood and looked at her. She looked back and blinked for a second longer than a standard blink, and then she left. Leaving the door open I chased her, the golden glow of the scattered streetlights provided the only light through the inky darkness of the sky and it was the only thing that penetrated the heavy rainfall. It was the only thing that pierced the tension that separated us. We just stood there looking at each other, the rain continued to pour, creating a bright reflective mist. Beautifully uncomfortable. As the rain dripped off her hair I found myself struggling to find the right words to break the tension and get things back to normal. She looked right at me, as if expecting me to say something to make everything better. I attempted to speak but my throat refused to let any sound out. Then Laura spoke first;

‘Well even if you choose me, it’s too late.’ I turned and walked towards my car without saying a word. The rain showed no sign of slowing and watered down tears made invisible tracks across my cheeks.

That’s when I drove here. I’ve been stood on this cliff top for exactly one hour and forty-eight minutes contemplating jumping or not. What did I have to live for? My life just told me it’s too late to live; I’d get nothing out of this world anyway. Anger and regret took hold of my whole body until it was too much to stand and it dangled me over the edge. I thought about all the things I’d ever done, the people I’d met, the laughs I’d had. Then I thought about the things I’d never do, the people I’d never meet, the feelings I’d never feel again. I smiled to myself while a single tear flew off my face with the wind and rain. I glanced up at the sky, closed my eyes and decided the right thing to do was leave this world and everything in it behind me.

He thought again as he approached his end while the wind hit his face what the feeling would be like. It would be quick, he was sure of that. Then he was gone.