Revenge of an Iceburg

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
We all know the story of the Titanic, but did anyone ever wonder what the iceburg thought about it all? From the POV of the iceburg. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! PLEASE, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!!

Submitted: September 25, 2013

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Submitted: September 25, 2013

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Bloody cold out here. Why oh why did I have to be an iceberg. I could’ve been some water in the Mediterranean, but nooo, I had to be in the Atlantic and get frozen into a block. When we were at school, other water wanted to be bottled water or distilled water, but I just wanted to be Mediterranean water, along with my best friend Steve. But when we got rained down, we found ourselves here, and got frozen. Do you know what happened to Steve? Do you want to know? Well I’m going to tell you anyway. He melted. Bloody global warming. He was smaller than me, you see. So now I’m out here in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no-one to talk to. 

So that’s it. I’m fed up, I’ve had enough. The next boat I see’s gonna get it. Big time.

Oooooh. What’s that? I spy with my little eye something beginning with BOAT! Excellent! Payback time. Hang on. How’s that gonna work. Damn. I’m an iceberg. I can’t choose where I float! DAMN IT! Must come up with a better plan next-time. 
Oh. Hang on. Go away. That’s to close. I decided to leave you alone, so you leave me alone! Go away. GO AWAY! Its gonna hit me. Bloody boat’s gonna hit me. Damn it. No. Go away. Too close! Too late! Too late. Oh dear.

Do you want the good news or the bad news? Bad news - I’m not all here. There’s a bit of me over there, for crying out loud! And that bit over there was the better half of my face! However, the good news is even better than good. Its brilliant. Fantastic. Phenomenal, even! The ships got a hole in it! Yes! My plan that was going to fail then decided to work all by itself! Woohoo! 
Now, I’m an iceberg, and I can’t read, but I’m pretty sure that the name on the side of that boat says Titanic. Not that that means much to me. 

Always remember: Revenge of an Iceberg - Best served Cold.

 


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