Clive The Extreme Sports Guy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Clive gets a crazy idea...

Submitted: November 03, 2010

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Submitted: November 03, 2010



Extreme Ocean Tubing is not the new thing. This was the only thought going through Clive’s mind as he went thundering through the Pacific. But this was Clive’s nature. As the most popular Extreme Sports Guy on the planet, he just HAD to try new things. Clive stood exactly 3ft 7”, and some scientist speculated his brain was as equally small. His IQ was described as: “not as smart as your average person, but smarter than the average duck”. Some scientist claimed this insulted ducks. Clive had a BIG wavy mustache, which had caused more than one newspaper reporter to bring home the bacon from the story. All Clive could say is: “Accidents happen.” But some one miss-quoted him and titled one of their stories : Clive Happens.

The idea of Extreme Ocean Tubing had come to him as he walked down the hallway in his mansion that had survived more than one flooding when Clive had tried to surf in his shower. The TV in his entertainment room was on and it’s hard not to notice a 89” TV screen. But it wasn’t the screen that caught Clive's attention, it was the huge splash displayed on the hi-def LCD panel. Such a big splash could only mean one thing to Clive. Extreme. “By golly, that’s it!!” Clive shouted. Hearing his employer’s commotion Clive’s butler came running. “Sir, are you quite alright? Do you need anything to eat sir? Should I call the skydiving instructor??” “NO!” gasped Clive. He wasn’t setting foot in a plane he was supposed to sky dive out of. The last time he did he got his mustache caught in the plane’s hatch by accidentally hitting emergency shut. 3 news reporters got a raise from this incident and one retired. “I’m not hungry, I just need a few things for my next sport. Could you go and get them after I write them down?” “Yes, of course sir.” The butler replied, like I do anything else for Mr. Clive, he thought. Then, better investigate where to buy the best for Mr. Clive, insurance included.

Further investigation led him to buy a huge 67 horse power outboard engine, a racing boat, and a patch of the Pacific Ocean. Not to mention some heavy duty inner-tubers. Clive was determined to go tubing, Extreme Style. The only flaw in his employer’s logic was that Clive had never, ever, inner-tubed before. A few days later saw Clive screaming at the top of his lungs, as he headed out on his little niche in the Pacific, driven by some wacko he had hired to be what he did best. Be Extremely WACKY!! The boat’s driver stood a good 5ft 8”. He was strong, and tan, with the crookedest smile you EVER saw. But now the driver wasn’t smiling now, he was wondering what his employer was thinking. He’s probably thinking on how to get out of this mess, the driver thought cheerily.

Clive wasn’t thinking how to get out of this mess. He wasn’t thinking that this was a bad idea, as salt water scratched his skin. As water drenched his face and body, Clive didn’t think much of anything. Only one thought pulsed through his little brain. He could only think on how Extreme Ocean Tubing wasn’t the new thing for him.

IT WAS JUST TOO BORING!! He wasn’t screaming in fright, it was frustration. The rush of water in his ears, the speed that his little frame traveled at just wasn’t enough. He wanted faster, louder, wetter! Clive signalled the boat driver to return to land so he could ponder this problem.

After a few hours and an espresso, Clive got an idea. He donated the gear he had his butler purchase a few days earlier to a local foster home for the foster kids to have fun with. Clive needed to make way for the sport of Extreme Rocket Propelled River Tubing/Parachuting off of Waterfalls . Clive couldn’t wait to get started. Think Amazon, he told himself, think Amazon.

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