Random Rants of an Insomniac

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic


Random Rants of an Insomniac is just what it sounds like. Some of this is true, some of it is merely figments of my imagination. Figure it out for yourself.

Table of Contents

Destruction

Submitted: April 09, 2018


You merely exist for tonight. Each ounce of pain makes you wince but only slightly, you believe you deserve it. You believe you need to hurt and you won't be done until you've completely destoyed
yourself by the end of the night. So you bear every soon to be scar, every ounce of blood you shed in your vain attempts to scrape away the thick layers of disgust that always seem to linger on
your flesh. You know you want to be whole again, you want to be beautiful and sane, just like everyone else seems to be. But, tonight, you can't ignore the shame you have been branded with. You're
broken, you've accepted it, and the night is timeless. Tomorrow, if it ever comes, will be a new day, bringing hope of a new start. Tomorrow... If it ever comes... Can be your chance to break the
vicious cycle. Hold on until tomorrow.
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Hidden

Submitted: April 09, 2018


I saw the girl I once was today. I couldn't take my eyes off her; she was so beautiful, so strong, passionate, and wild. She was a force to be reckoned with and the whole world knew it. Her eyes
lured me in and held me captive, daring and haunting me. She and I stared in that mirror until I lost the battle, tearing my eyes away in shame. I knew what I had done, allowing the world to cast
her away and keep her hidden. God, she was beautiful, someone whom I desperately wanted to be again. But the world wasn't ready for her, she had to be destroyed and hidden behind the mask of
uncertainty and fear I constantly wore, shielding her from the world until they were ready.
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Abandonment

Submitted: April 09, 2018


I gasped for air, being dragged back under by the unseen force that wanted so desperately to claim me. His arms wrapped around me securely, hugging me near in an embrace I returned without
hesitation, small cries of fear from being awoken pushing past my lips as I clung to his body, wanting nothing but to be held by him. He murmured in my ear, "I have to go. I love you." Fear gripped
my heart as I raced after him, stopping for a few moments to make the bed. I stopped in the living room, watching his figure disappear to the outside world, the front door wide open with the patter
of fresh morning rain seeping through. I stood there stark naked, clinging to myself and watching him, still fighting off the demonic force that kept me under once he woke, a fight I rarely lost.
But, today, I did lose. And I faced the repercussions, half dragging myself as fear crept out of my body, my heart slowing down enough for me to realize it was aching at the thought of him leaving.
He appeared through the doorway, long enough for me to apologize for not waking up, tears ripping at my heart, threatening to burst. He said his goodbyes once more, we both knew he had to leave.
Oh, God, how I wish he didnt have to.
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Beautiful Hatred

Submitted: April 09, 2018


She was so grotesque it was disturbingly beautiful. I'm not talking about her outward appearance. A pretty face can lead to a million heartbreaks and a barren bank account. No, she was grotesque in
the way she was. If anyone ever saw her, and I mean really saw her in the ways she allowed me to, they wouldn't be able to look away.


She was horribly clumsy, silly beyond words, wickedly smart, and so passionate it was obnoxious, among other things. But she was also so silent, it became deafening at times. Not for fear of
speaking her mind, but for fear those who were listening weren't ready to hear her words. And other times, she did her best to isolate herself completely from the outside world, shielding her heart
and soul from all those wicked, hateful creatures that lurked amongst us.


Her heart had flimsy walls, nearly anyone could rip apart. She found herself tormented daily by those who had weaseled their way into her heart without welcome, without deserving it. And, before
she knew it, they were gone, having stolen away a piece of her heart. And, yet, she still found a way to love them. Each and every one.
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Unsteady Healing

Submitted: April 24, 2018

It's easy to shield yourself from everyone outside. It's easy to hide when you're about to break, shrug it off and say it's fine, until y... Read Chapter

Volcanic Eruptions

Submitted: April 30, 2018

I walk a frail tightrope daily, doing my best to keep my world from blending with yours whilst we interact. It's a duty I've taken upon m... Read Chapter

Relief

Submitted: May 06, 2018

I'll never forget the look you gave me on that fateful day. I remember your child crying in the backseat, not wanting to go back to his m... Read Chapter

Wicked words

Submitted: May 12, 2018

I know I mess up. A lot. More times than can be counted. And I regret every time I do. As much as I love you, I still find new and innoce... Read Chapter

Hidden Identity

Submitted: May 20, 2018

Where do I start? I feel stuck. As much as I want to be with you, I don't know what to do here. You love me and I love you; it should be ... Read Chapter

Run

Submitted: June 16, 2018

She had many flaws. Plausibly her worst was that she was afraid and yet not, at the same time. She was strange, like that; you never coul... Read Chapter

Fire

Submitted: July 16, 2018

You both had unconventional ways, the bond between you was unique and unusual. When the time arose for a proposal to be made, you both el... Read Chapter

I Never Told You

Submitted: December 19, 2018

My partner has only seen one of my writings. It's titled 'Let's be honest', a summary of why I'll never be good enough, that I'll never b... Read Chapter