Hopeless Path Of a Wreck Part 2

Reads: 293  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
As went to the first other summary...yeah I don't feel like repeating so yeah...hope you like it?

Submitted: April 03, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 03, 2010

A A A

A A A


Alright now the past is the past we are on today's issue which is my weight watch thing. I am to fricken lazy to exercise and I have been doing that in 2008 and nothing's happened well I did drop 5 pounds against the hips but that all took me a half of a year. It was on and off but I'm one of those gal's who want things done quick simple and fast so My solution is Cap's. Yeah Extacy or heroine. I had promised myself never to do Heroine well not promised just agreed since I was a child like little girl you know? I'm not going to go down that road even though it looks daring and fun but I agreed that Extacy is just as fun. So yeah I'm saving up to buy my first start of pills I need at least three to get me through a week so yes I'm finding the right dealer who sells for less than needed. I may sound dumb and am a total dumbstruck for these kinds of things well for everything so bare with me. So far I have only gotten eleven bucks and my family are such broke asses and stingy mother fuckers so yeah I'm going to have to hope for this diet thing to succeed. I died my nails black and they look pretty Gothic but have the man hands look to them. Not so happy about that. I'm still afraid of children and I'm starting to cry more often than usual. I have no idea and real reason to cry I have to make them up in my head even when I do I immediately stop crying so it's on and off. On Thursday I met a nice girl named Catlin and she seem's pretty cool. We both have the same cutting habit but her boyfriend made her stop but she still try's it every chance she gets. But when her boyfriend fins out he pours vinegar on her cuts and leaves it their. I think thats sweet her boyfriend is showing her he really cares and doesn't want his baby girl to hurt herself. Well Catlin and I talked about our lives and shit her's sounded a little bit like mine or how mine should have been. We both like weed and she loves taking cap's also she loves the Crack to but she also had to quit on that to. I wanted to try Extacy but I never have the right hook ups to do it. So we are planning to get enough money like twenty bucks each so that we can get a really good trip on it and me to drop at least 50 pounds. I keep itching myself to literally pull a suicide attempt but so far nothing's happened. Ash is being a real asshole to me and his friends are also suck dip stick tools. I can now see my shadow's moth moving without my doing and same goes with the mirror reflection. I'm keeping everything calm convincing my self that it's just my imagination getting the best of me. My mom is still avoiding me and her and that thing she clung to for the past months had gotten into a physical fight last night and like always my mom tolled me to fuck off when I tried to help her. At least she didn't bitch slap me like she did last year fuck that hurt and stung like a bitch. I get to meet my therapist on this coming Tuesday he sounds like a swell guy but I don't really know right now.

Love life is lower than it gets nobody likes me or finds me the tad bit attractive in this life my school on the internet. I agree that I look like a cave man or a real man for crying out loud I'm going to be alone forever and that guy the man that followed me on main yeah I will NEVER see him again even if I do he'll probably be with some one who he is seeing other lines dating or he has a child or we just were never meant to be. My heart still acke's because that will always be the truth. Theirs always some one out their who is better looking or better suited than the other person. Unfortunately it has always evolved around me. Plain ugly no friend just a loner me. Freak I don't mind being a freak I like the shakiness I get sometimes and the rush is okay but just being and knowing that I'm alone it just gets to me you know? I don't want to be alone forever. I had even planned my death again another suicide thought that after I'm dead I can find that guy from main and just see him all day and stay with him. But I know what if he has children or a girlfriend or maybe he is Ash that dip shit who has a kid already? But what if he's not. I feel like crying when I even of the bad possibility's. It just sucks that all I wanted since I was a kid was to fall in love or be in love have kids and be married to a guy who really loves me and of course we would have or nasty break ups and our sex makeups but now it starting to fit I will never have that it is to good for me and I'm just obviously not good enough for it. I FUCKING HATE IT when people say \"oh don't worry your still young, you still have some chances. He's just around the corner. Just wait\" I hate it their all just lies and things to tell us when we really become hopeless. Just because it happened to one person and another it's not going to happen to me. Plus that stupid but hot guy on main I can't get him out of my head I know it's been like since forever since I saw but still I think I've gotten desperate, Why would he do something so stupid like that? Make me think that he's really into me and that finally a guy actually finds me attractive then just I never see him again?! Thats stupid seriously! What a dumb thing to do play stalker for a couple of blocks and than ditch and never meet again! I hate him! Stupid guy If I see him again it will ruin my heart shatter my soul and leave me broken again! Shit it's like I never get enough of this it's always the same thing. I'm still a virgin for crying out loud I hate it it fucking sucks! I just want to give it to any body right now. I just want to die. I need to die.


© Copyright 2020 Aqua Mist. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

More True Confessions Short Stories