Pen vs Gun

“Well, I have a pen,” said the man.

“And I have a gun,” said the other. “Shall we see who wins?” The first man, Stephan his name, squinted.

“This is no fair contest,” he said. “Give me time to write and then we shall see.”

“That is but a natural disadvantage of your weapon of choice,” said the other man, who shall henceforth be known as Robert. “You should have picked better.”

“I had no choice!” said Stephen. “You look like a reasonable chap. Give me a chance to use my weapon as it was intended, then you may have a chance to use yours.” The two men faced each other, long grass brushing their knees. The sun was high in the sky, and it was taking its toll on Stephen, who felt close to collapse from heat and exertion. Not too far away was a herd of cows, watching the unfolding spectacle with faint curiosity. A farmer, peering out of a second storey window of his nearby farmhouse, watched on with them.

“No,” said Robert, and shot Stephen dead. The noise startled the cows, but they got over it.