Superman Fixes My Lawnmower

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
Superman's is so happy with himself, he doesn't really know how strong his ego is.

Submitted: May 28, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 28, 2010



Superman Fixes My Lawnmower


Scientists first picked up the anomaly in the stars at eleven forty-five P.M. last Tuesday. At all the observatories on the Earth, it was confirmed: Asteroid named PlXO2191 was to collide with the Earth, at a mass of Two thousand three hundred and twelve, to the power of four. Impact at latitude fifty-one and longitude thirty degrees north, London England. Projected casualties: All life on planet Earth.


Superman left an un-occupied phone booth to intercept. He accelerated with his first fist forward and with steely eyes and flapping red cape, he burst through the ionosphere toward the space rock.


Asteroid PIX02191 the rock, big as Texas spun in space, hurtled toward London town at near light speed.


Superman sped on, twisting in space to align him with the light of the sun, gaining a better view. There it was, spinning in space, Superman narrowed his eyes and flew to it.


Fast and fast, faster and faster, Superman gained speed!


The rock in the sky didn't know what hit it as Superman burst through! Blasting the asteroid into fifteen pieces.

Then the man of steel attacked the remaining shards, flying to each one to deliver a hammer fist. Busting! Breaking! Pulverizing!


Flying in complicated spatial assaults, Superman made sure the job was done as he shattered Pix02191 into manageable and sensible meteorite bites.

And. He had done the job eleven hours early.


Smiling he left space, spun his superhero body around, shot forth his steely right arm, made a fist and flew down to Africa, now in the darkened night.


He flew down and alighted in the Kalahari Desert and looked up into the night.


The man of steel found a nearby rock to sit on as he clasped his hands between his blue knickers and eagerly looked to the skies, his red cape flowing in the hot desert wind.


Presently a bushman hunter from the dunes made his way to the anxious superhero.

He wore nothing but a crude loincloth and carried a spear, a satchel of water, and tools made of bone.

His name was !kluutu


Superman waved him over “Hello citizen! Come over!”


!kluutu was days into the hunt and was eager to see another person on his lonely trek. Hungry and not having eaten for days, the bushman walked over to the strange man in red and blue.

He said things in strange clicks and clacks in an honest tone. Translation: Hello, I have been travelling for three days over the plains in search of food for my tribe, can you help me?


Superman looked at the Kalahari bushman and smiled, not knowing a word he said.


“Oh! I see!” Said the caped crusader and in embarrassment, stood up and took the granite rock he had been sitting on and broke it in two.


He sat on the one half and let the bushman sit on the other.

And so it ensued, a long period of silence between the two beings.


Superman sat like a child. Jaws wide open and breathing slowly as he watched the dark African night.

Nothing but a lazy starfield moving with the world.


He watched the skies with his hungry bushman companion...


And then!


Pix02091 fell through the atmosphere in brilliant burning starlight and bright meteor showers.


Superman was so thrilled.


!kluutu was not impressed, his tummy ached for lack of food, he had seen a meteorite storm before.


Superman did a little superhero touchdown dance on the spot "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"


"Did you just see that citizen?"


"Wow! Man? Did you just see that? That was the rogue asteroid that was going to kill everyone!"

Superman was so full of himself, he never gets weary of saving the world.


"Man! That was awesome!"


The man of steel stood up and stretched, he looked at !kluutu.


"Well, small black citizen, It was nice to have spent some time with you, but I have to go now."

And added a personal joke 'The world won't save itself.'


And then he took a step and then a leap and off he flew with his cape flapping into the dark African night.


!kluutu the bushman shook his head and watched him go and uttered words: !kli ounu uk! kou! houki !kli anou ki! klaunu.


Translation: There goes the biggest red and blue asshole I've ever seen.

© Copyright 2020 aramyth65. All rights reserved.

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