Darkness, then the Light

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Something that came to me one night while trying to sleep...

Submitted: April 14, 2012

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Submitted: April 14, 2012

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It’s dark, and I’m lying on my back. I hate lying on my back, I can never get comfortable, but I’m in too much pain to roll over. I’m always in pain now, and it’s almost always dark. I can’t remember how I got here, or what happened before. All I know is that I was alone. No family, no friends, I was trying to write a novel, so I cut myself off. I don’t remember why I did this, but I must have felt the need for isolation. I’d give anything to go see a friend now, see her face and hear her voice. Anywhere away from this dark and this pain.

 

I’m alone here too. Except the voices. Sometimes there are voices in the dark, speaking words that I don’t understand. It isn’t always dark though, and then the voices make more sense. Every now and again, there is suddenly light, and the pain goes away, and I’m standing in a room full of people, lots of activity and noise, but somehow it feels peaceful. That’s when I see the girl. She’s lying on a bed, covered in wires and tubes, all the activity is for her. Or should I say me? It took two of these peaceful trips to realise that she was me, in a hospital bed. Then suddenly, with a jolt, the light goes out, and the pain comes back.

 

I don’t know how long I’ve been here now. The pain has started to get less, but I still can’t move. I want to sleep, but I can’t do that lying on my back. Sometimes I cry, but there’s no one there to notice. I’m starting to recognise some of the voices that I hear regularly. One of them is a nurse, she’s in and out a lot. I’ve seen her working on me, long brown hair in a ponytail, tired-looking, I think she must spend too much time here. I want to talk to her, get to know her, but I can’t do anything to show her I’m here. I’ve heard the doctors coming and going, they think I can’t hear anything, that I have no responses, but I hear everything they say, I even see the light when they check my pupil response, but still I’m trapped within my body like it’s a shell.

 

Today, there’s a new voice. A man, his voice is deep and rich, and he talks to the nurses about me. I’ve heard it a lot, so he must keep coming back. I wonder what he looks like, who he is, why he’s here. I almost pray for my heart to stop again, just for a moment, so I can get to see him.

“Dr Weston,” it’s the brown-haired nurse, “I didn’t realise you were assigned to this patient.”

“I’m not, I just heard about her, and thought it might be worth a second opinion.” He’s a doctor. Well, that explains it then. Someone else to puzzle over my case, nothing more than that. “She isn’t responsive at all?”

“No, it’s such a shame.”

“Anyone come forward to claim her yet?”

Silence.

So that’s it. I’m still on my own.

 

I feel warmth against my hand. The first thing I’ve felt except the pain in such a long time. A hand in mine, holding my fingers, making my whole arm tingle.

The doctor’s voice breaks through my reverie, “Look, she’s crying.”


© Copyright 2020 Arandomelle. All rights reserved.

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