Black Bird 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a spoff that combines several differnet popular stories into one, meant to make you laugh if you are asking "what the heck is that" then I have done my job.

Submitted: August 06, 2011

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Submitted: August 06, 2011

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Chapter 1: Introduction of the Future.

In the middle of the twenty first century, mysterious nuke attacks hit several continents around the world, countless lives were lost, the day July 6, 2050 was Judgment Day.  Later it was discovered that the nuke attacks were caused by Russia declaring war.  The United States and Europe realized their worst fear has come to life and engaged in all fronts to try to end the war quickly.  But the war dragged on for nine long horrible years, creating mountains of corpses, rivers of blood, covered the sky with black smoke, and ash fell like snow. 

Nine years later American General Elizabeth Irons came up with a plan to end Russia’s power and end the war by assassinating the Russian Furher.  After having her plan accepted by the Secretary of Defense, she assigned one of her troops named Crow Draven, a Master Chief of the United States Marine Corps to assassinate the Furher of Russia.  On December 24, 2059, the assassination attempt took place at the Moscow Theater during the Nutcracker ballet.  Crow Draven was on the second floor of theater preparing his sniper rifle and spotted the Furher his entourage and other higher ups to include the royal family.  Everything seemed to go as planned as the play went to the scene when the Nutcracker and Mouse King battle.  He was about to pull the trigger when he heard a gunshot from somewhere else and the royal family were killed.  It surprised the whole theater, the Furher spotted Draven and order his troops to seize him. 

Draven managed to escape from the theater and returned to base without the enemy on his tail.  He quickly returned his weapon to the storage room and went to see his commanding officer.  But instead, Marine Major Victor Decker and a group of Military Police arrived and arrested Draven for the murder of the royal couple.  He tried to explain that it wasn’t him, but no one would listen to him.  General Irons was at a different base at the time dealing with business and heard the news that Draven has been arrested and returned quickly.  Draven explained everything to Iron's, she said that she’ll come up with a plan to prove him innocent.  Draven was sent to the brig until his transportation to Washington D.C. for his trail could be arranged.  But things were about to get worse. 

 

On December 27, 2059, a mysterious blizzard happened in  Russia.  The wind gusted to 300 miles per hour as it destroys everything in its path.  It lasted for hours and when it finally blew over, the entire city of Moscow was destroyed.The war was finally over as the enemys leadership was decapitated and its war machine surrendered.  But Crow Draven felt that somehow, the war is not really over and the Furher was still alive.  He escaped that same day and is a wanted criminal. 

 

The United States government had declare that the Russia a restricted area.  Crow Draven on the loose, he’s wanted by the government for the crime he didn’t commit. 


 

Chapter 2: 2064 Now.

Black Bird’s Journal October 30, 2064, 8:30pm.

My name is Crow Draven, the Black Bird.  I’m thirty two years of age (still young looking); I have black as a crow and long and spiky hair (anime style) with dark violet eyes.  I’m wearing complete black clothing (shirt, shoes, long pants, gloves, jacket, trench coat and of course under ware.)  I was raised in Millennium City, New Mexico (It used to be Alamogordo until they changed it in 2013) but I cannot remember my real home because I was real young when I left there  I was raised by Train and Sarah Draven but my real parents were Neville and Miranda on my home planet of Krypton, I was sent to this plant after my home planet exploded and found by Train and Sarah when I was just a baby who raised me as there own. My real father came from a family of Kryptonic mercenaries and my mother came from a Native Force Fealer  tribe family on the third moon of Endore and is half Ewok. 

I discovered this information after I was bitten by a radioactive spider in the bottom of a remote cave full of bats and mutant turtles.  After I was bit I had a vision of my real parents explaining this to me and as wired as it sounds, it made sense to me.  I was always different than the other kids, when other boys my age were playing with frogs I was making rocks explode with my mind and talking to aluminum cans.  As I was  a teenager I decided to wear all black to honor my mother and her half Ewok heritage.

It’s been almost five years since the war ended.  Five years since I’ve been accused of a crime that I didn’t commit.  Five years I’ve survived on my own even on the toughest times.  For the last five years I have ate constant junk food, slept with unclean women and drank enough vodka to kill a small horse. 

Also in that five years I have traveled across the states destroying my remaining enemies and their research of creating an immortal army of giant man-eating guinea pigs by using nanomites and other secret technology along with some kind of virus that I really cannot understand because it is so technical like with math and chemistry and all those other things that I did not get into in high school because of my aluminum can friends.  Throughout my travel, I ran into the authorities many times and never got arrested.  And finally returned to my hometown Millennium City in September 2063, the thing is, not one cop in my home town tried to arrest me.  I thought it was because they thought I was a hero, but come to find out no one knows who I am and really they don't care. 

After I returned home, I ran into an old enemy from high school named Jack O’riet.  He’s the son of a Italian-Mexican crime boss named Jose O’riet a.k.a. Knife-no-gun and my god father.  Jack O’riet was like Chumlie from Pawn Stars but dumber, I mean Chumlie is a freaking rocket scientist compared to O'riet.  But truthfully short, fat, Mexi/Italian, rich, spoiled and dumb as box of rocks make a dangerous combination.  Ever since Junior High, Jack has been playing like he’s big shot, made man wise guy and this concerned the school, not so much him being a wise guy but a total moron.  There was a decent chance that he was going to be running a modest criminal enterprise and how would it look if this tard graduated from your school system?  In either care back in school he recruited his own goon squad Billy Jones, the Morales brothers, and a wimpy small time kid named Chao Lee (he took great pains to recruit from every major ethnic group to keep the gangsters union off his ass).  Me and my friends (all big white guys of course, dah!) would foil their plans of doing wise guy business in school.  Jack wanted to teach everyone to respect him so he came up with a plan to massacre everyone in the school during the junior prom.  Luckily for everyone’s sake he could not tell the difference between real and air soft weapons and in an effort to save some money he bought the air soft (did I say before that this kid was a moron?).  Needles to say his attack on the junior prom was repulsed with folding chairs and a punch bowl.  My friends and were there but we really were too drunk to give care and truthfully I was trying to get up Stacy Peterson’s dress so I really didn’t care.  He had his buddies were arrested and convicted on lewd behavior and being an idiot and were sentenced to juvenile detention for a stretch.  The worst thing of this whole fiasco was that Jose O’riet  (Jack’s father) committed suicide shortly after Jack was arrested.  Some say it was because his business was ruined, others say it was because he was dying, I think it was because he could believe that he brought such a tard into the world that he could not live with himself anymore.  In either case the school system was happy because they did not have worry about being embarrassed with jack being such a mouth breather.

Somehow Jack escaped from juvenile detention (common you don’t have to be Houdini to do that) and wanted revenge for not just for his arrest, but also for the death of his father that for some freaking reason me blamed me for.  He ordered his men to steal a military weapon which was a pulse lighting cannon and planned to use it to destroy Millennium City.  But his plan was ruined because there never was a weapon like that and his and his retard friends came to get the “pulse weapon” when I was waiting for them and opened up half a can of Ewok whop ass on them.  Five of them against just me was not a fair fight so I let them call up 2 more friends, there was furry of kicks, grabs, punches and jabs and when it was all over Jack crew were either knocked out or running away and Jack, well I literally shoved his own head up his ass.  Needless to say that he had a hospital stay after that.  Again the police did not arrest me, again I thought it was because I was a hero but in reality they did not really care.

Fast forward to today, there has been news that William Huges has been murdered in an apartment near Twilight Park, Huges and I were pals back in high school.  I waited until nighttime before I go to the crime scene so the cops have all left.As I entered the apartment and all I see are bullet holes, blood, and the window is shattered.  Based on the amount of blood, it looks like the victim was stabbed by a bladed weapon and crashed through the window somehow which really would not explain all the bullet holes unless the assailant was a shitty shot.  From my Navy Seal training I can piece the scene back together in my mind, the assailant enters the room and shoots up the apartment, he is not use to shooting an automatic weapon because of the bullet holes in the ceiling, floor, every wall and even thought the front door going out – odd.  Dude seriously sent though over 100 rounds and didn’t hit shit, but the body only had a single knife wound and was thrown out a window.  The real chiller is that I find pictures of myself and all of my high school friends in the bedroom and a big red X has been places over William’s face.

What will happen next?  Please see the coming installments in Black Bird 2.1


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