Pickup Artist: ch 1. Panty Fairy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
When a self proclaimed Pickup artists meats a women with more game then him, you'd think they'd be a perfect match? But she has no interest in such an "easy" guy.

Submitted: September 20, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 20, 2014

A A A

A A A


“ugh..” Jake turned over in bed to see a strangers sleeping face next to him.

 

Completely Unfazed he takes a moment to look her over, it would be more unusual if there was nobody beside him anyways. Despite suffering from an intense hangover he was pretty happy with himself.

 

“Heh, even with beer goggles I still got a good one” Jake mumbles under his breath

 

The girl opens her eyes slightly groggy when she sees jake she quickly tries to fix her hair pulling her fingers through it.She smiles “ah. What time is it?”

 

Jake turns over to look at his wall clock “8:30” he responds

 

“O wow still early.. wanna get breakfast or something?” She tries to say nonchalantly

 

This is definitely the bittersweet part of one knight stands Jake thought. You get all the joys of casual sex but with the drawbacks of trying to get them to leave afterwards. “Yeah thats sounds great! o wait… I forgot I got a lot of stuff today”

 

The girl turns her head side ways eyebrows raised “Really?! you’ve got “stuff” ?”

 

“Yup just totally booked up all day or else i would” Jake can feel her not buying it but she’ll leave whether or not she believes it. Its just a matter of speeding the process along.

 

“Really booked? on a sunday?” She says smugly

 

Jake panicked a bit, why was he out on a saturday? He only goes out on Sundays to avoid this exact situation. Jake was about to give his lame Church excuse “beep beep….beep...beep” he looked over to see his phone vibrating on the table “Ahhh gotta get that.” He said relieved.

 

Picking his cell up “hello?”

 

“Uncle Jake! where are you? I’ve been waiting at the gate where you're supposed to pick me up at for a half an hour already!!” A whiny voice on the other end complains

 

Jake suddenly remembers why he was out on a saturday hes supposed to babysit his brat of a nephew while hes down for spring break. “alright I’m on my way, Bye”

 

“Wait you haven't le-” Jake hangs up. Jake sighs and turns back around completely forgetting that girl was still there, glaring at him. “sorry gotta pick my nephew up hes staying with me for awhile...His parents are going through some stuff” Doesn't hurt to add a little drama.

 

The girl still looks a bit unconvinced “Sorry I had no idea.. I got stuff to do today anyways”

 

At least one good thing happened because of his nephews visit.

 

Jake pulls into the pickup lot an hour later. Jake looks around trying to pinpoint his, he started to feel it was useless he hadn't seen the kid since he was nine with crooked teeth and glasses thicker than an extra strenght condem. While keeping a look out for a taller version of what he thought his nephew might look like a young man slipped into his car.

 

“WHAT THE HELL!! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!!” He seethes with anger.

 

It takes Jake awhile to realise this good looking kids his nephew “Geez kid what happened to you?” The kid looks back confused and pissed. “did you get plastic surgery or something? ya look great” Jake looks him over tall, dark brown hair and teeth as straight as a girl when she gets out of college.

 

“... Lets just go i'm starving” He says as he adjusts himself in the car seat, he starts to pout.

Jake drives to the nearest fast food place thinking kids definitely got the good looks from me. Once they arrive at jakes place Drake goes to his room to unpack. Jake sits down and turns the tv. “jake? Whats this?” Drake calls out

 

Jake turns around to see Drake holding a lace thong “wow kid! I dont care what you're into but don't show me! Come on, I'm like your uncle thats incest or something”

 

“They’re not mine!!! I found them in the bedroom, And thats not what incest means!” Drake says frustrated

 

“OOOOooo some chick must have forgot them, Thats like the 12th pair, if i didn't know any better I’d swear the panty fairy is of her meds” Jake says casually

 

Drake just stands there mouth open shaking his head “what? panty fairy?”

 

“Yeah the tragic part is why she's on meds in the first place” Jake says solemnly

 

“wait so let me get this straight.. There are women who are willing to sleep with you.. you” Drake says in disbelief

 

“Yeah, A lot actually” Jake says changing the channel on the tv.

 

“not for money or anything.. How do you do it?” drake says seriously


Jake stops for a moment and then jumps up from the couch “Thats perfect I can be your sensei! Ill teach you my secrets on picking up women. Ive always wanted to pass it on to my son but seeing as i dont like children youll have to do”


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