Bridges To Burn

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
A weblog from my xanga profile.

Submitted: June 26, 2010

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Submitted: June 26, 2010



Sometimes I can't help thinking of things I shouldn't. It's the story they "happened to forget" to tell you about in the Fairytales. You know, the whole:  He liked her. She liked him. They fell in Love. He betrayed her. They never spoke again.

Tension is hanging thick in the air. We can't stand to be in a room together. How could we have ever loved each other? Most likely, we were only fooling ourselves. I stand by the words I've said. I don't hate you, but I don't want to hear from you again, cause' all that comes out of your mouth is lies. Lies that I believed... I feel very sorry for the next girl you try to fool. And I'm not sorry my best friend didn't fall for you. But you don't know what "No." means. To you, it's just a word, and not a command. So you keep trying, and you keep failing.
Can't you see it? She knows just as well as I do. You won't betray her, you won't create another bridge to nowhere for her to follow aimlessly. She won't give you the chance.
I'm still hanging on the past, but I have good reason. Something as intense as that can't be forgotten... Not because of what happened, but because of the way you acted.

So I'm not exactly sure why I keep thinking about the whole situation. Alex tells me to forget, but she was never put in that situation. None of my friends were... I'm alone on this winding trail. Back then it was harder to walk, I was stumbling every so often... It's better now. I can stand up on my own and it rarely crosses my mind. This is one of those rare times.
They say, You'll either love them forever or you never loved them at all. And I realized... I never loved you. I thought I did.. But then again, I use to be stupid too. It's been so many months, I've been lingering on the bridge. Not really crossing it, but not burning it to ashes either. I'd tell myself... "Just wait a little longer..Things might change." You need to realize though, sometimes things never change. I'll still be me, and you'll still be you. We might change the way we speak, change our clothing...But not the way we think and not what we've done in the past. That stays the same and we can't make it unwritten. No matter how much we hope and pray.
Maybe I lingered there because I knew what you did.. And I was hoping you'd pull me back and tell me it wasn't true. You'd always stayed faithful. So it's not in person, it's just on the phone...But that's still wrong. Every time I wanted you to pull me back, I wanted to you push me away. I wanted to push you away. And I'm doing just that. I guess it's a good thing that distance will separate us even further. Maybe it'll keep you alive a little longer. You won't have to cower whenever you pass me in the hallway.
I never loved you... And right now, I'm burning this bridge. I'm burning the memories (if you can even call them that). I'm mentally crumpling a picture of you and throwing it in the river. If the wind won't carry you away... Maybe the currents will. Or maybe a shark will eat you..

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