My Remembrance

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
I had, once, foolishly let a guy take over my life. I was hurt in many ways.

Submitted: December 25, 2011

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Submitted: December 25, 2011

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Things had always seemed to be easier to handle when I was with him. Like, I could be given the worst news of all time, but I could manage to tough it out, because he was at my side. He helped me breathe, it seemed. He was my air. My world. Nearly literally.
I loved him. I honestly did. He was my best friend for a long time, then I fell for him hard. He noticed it, I guess, and asked me out.

I was happy. I hadn't been in so long. I wasn't broken, crying, or hurting. No. I was happy. I had a huge, foolish grin plastered onto my face. I thought things were perfect.
We never fought. We always had good, long, real conversations. Yeah, I was a fool. I knew better. I got played a lot before. Why would this time be different.

Hell, if I knew what he would do, then I would have never gone and went with him. You see, he was lying the whole time. He wanted to play his silly little games, and you see, I was his pawn.
I figured it out, somehow. It hurt, a hell of a lot. I went, and broke up with him. I lied, though. I chickened out of telling him off. I had this whole idea planned out, but I changed my mind, and told him a lie. One lie from me to his countless lies. And I bet you I felt worse over that one than he felt over any.

With him as a friend again, I managed. I hated him, but he was a good friend. So, thats how things were.
Until I found out he was still playing his lying game.

He, for some God awful reason, went and got with my best friend. And made her his newest pawn. I got angry. At them both. Long ago, we had vowed to never date the others ex. Well, that promise must have had an expiration date, because it wasn't even in her head at all.
It ruined our friendship. She chose him, a lying cheat, over me, a loyal friend of years. It hurt. I cried when I saw it. Not much, oddly enough. I cried a little. I thought, Why am I crying over this? She tossed me away like I was trash. Chose a guy over a friend.

I was angry for a while. Then, I decided, being a bitch won't get you anywhere. Be nice, try to be her friend again. Maybe then she'll listen. Well, you see, I was wrong.
I got lied to more, hurt. All that. The vicious cycle continued.

So, now, I'm stronger. I won't go back to them. No, I'm fine without them. Yes, I hate him now. There is no love for him in my heart. Not anymore.
I can't stand to see his face. You all say you understand, but you don't. No. You can't understand it at all.
I was already an unstable person. I had problems. Ask anyone, they'd tell you it was true.
And you, my good sir, made them worse.

One day, when I'm older, I hope to look back to this, all of this, and smile. I want to think "I survived it all." I want everyone to look at me and say: "She's the strong one."

I don't want to be remembered by everyone as that girl who let her problems ruin her life. I don't want tp be remembered as that sad, pathetic kid in the corner.
I want to make something of myself, and be known.

I want to be remembered as the girl who smiled through it all, and made it through, stronger than ever before.


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