The Great Degosi

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Stu wanted to treat his son to a magic show for his birthday...unfortunately he needed to do a little research before he hired The Great Degosi. The poor kid has no idea what he is in for.

Submitted: October 02, 2011

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Submitted: October 02, 2011






The Great Degosi

Written By Adam Kirby


“Stu I heard you hired a magician for your kid’s birthday party today.”  Roger said standing next to his friend.

“Sure did, I heard he’s a bit different from the usual magicians.”  Stu said back in a smug smile.

“How so?”  Roger asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“You’ll see.”  Stu answered with a wink.

All the kids sat around the crummy stage Stu built specifically for magic show.  The show started off with a puff of smoke. When the smoke dissipated a man with severe scoliosis stood center stage.

“Is that the magician Stu?”  Roger asked with tremendous concern.

“I don’t know?”  Stu stated back with an embarrass blush.

“Mashter u ‘issed ‘ur cue…”  The hunchback said with an ashamed look on his face.

A well dressed man frantically ran onto the rickety stage.  He had dark eyes, black slick back hair, and looked like something from an old forties horror flick. 

“Nigel what did I say about speaking, when you are on stage?”  The magician asked in a commanding tone.

“Na tu…’”  Nigel said looking down at his feet.

“Stu are you sure you didn’t order something intended for a funhouse?  Those two look like Dracula and Igor.”  Roger pointed out infuriating Stu a little.

“Well the ad did say they were different, just watch maybe it gets better.”  Stu nagged back.

“Behold, I am The Great Degosi…you kids are a bit too young to know the original Degosi.”  The Great Degosi mused.

“Wasn’t the original Degosi a painter?”  Roger asked with a smug smirk on his face.

“Roger…please just shut up…”  Stu grumbled.

The Great Degosi looked at one of the kids at the far right of the stage.  He gave him what he thought was a mystifying stare, but the kid was not impressed or in awe of him.

“You, was this your card?”  The Great Degosi asked holding no card in his hand.

“You aren’t holding any cards.”  A kid in the back row complained.

“Or am I?”  The Great Degosi debated back.

“’U urnt mashter, te deck sits ‘ight ‘ere.”  Nigel said holding a pack of cards. 

This was clearly not part of the act, because The Great Degosi flushed bright red from his embarrassing mistake.  He then tried to redeem is mistake by calling a child next to the birthday boy in the middle of the crowd to the stage.

“What is this behind your ear?”  The Great Degosi reached behind the child’s ear.

“’eh looks li’k a roach mashter…”  Nigel said with a grimace.

“Ewww!”  The Great Degosi shrieked flinging the bug at Nigel. 

The kid sat back down looking disappointed how lame the show his been so far.  The Great Degosi was beginning to see low disposition within his audience.

“Do any of you kids like animals?”  The Great Degosi asked in a positive tone.

In an instant all the bored disgruntled children eyes lit up with excitement.  Even Stu and Roger standing at the back of the crowd brightened up, they clearly knew the trick The Great Degosi was about to pull off.

“Now kids you can clearly see there is nothing inside this old hat of mine.”  The Great Degosi said as he showed the inside of an old stove top hat.

“Uh Roger, have you ever heard a rabbit growl, hiss, and chatter like that?”  Stu asked concerned by the sudden noises coming out of the hat.  Roger only shrugged.

“Oh and what is this inside my hat…”  The Great Degosi reached inside his hat to pull out an angry rabid raccoon, flailing angrily as it dangled in the magician’s hand.  “Who’s the lucky birthday boy?”  The Great Degosi asked in a cheerful tone.  All the children pointed at Timmy in the middle with a worried look on their face.  “Here you go kid.”  The Great Degosi said tossing the small red eyed beast in Timmy’s direction.

All the children ran in fright as that foamy mouth fur ball flew in their direction.  Stu took off his flannel shirt and whipped at the animal, while Roger attempted to step on and kick it till it ran high up into the tree occasionally hissing at everybody.  The children reluctantly sat back in front of the stage afterward.

“Whoops I guess Joshua wasn’t feeling real well.”  The Great Degosi said in a nervous smile.

“Wat ‘r u talkin about mashter u grabbed tha’ rodent on te ‘ay ‘ere…”  Nigel pointed out.

“Quiet, another word of you…will be no dinner tonight.”  The Great Degosi threatened.

“Tha’ ‘as my dinner.” Nigel whined looking up at the tree.

Stu just wanted this performance to be over, but he was too afraid to say something encase this psycho had more rabid rodents on his persons.  The Great Degosi was ready for his final act, but he needed a volunteer.  After his stunt with the raccoon, nobody wanted onto that stage. 

“Now for my final act!”  The Great Degosi shouted with triumph.

“Do you think he’s going to saw someone in half Stu?”  Roger asked in fear.

“I certainly hope not.”  Stu replied in anxiety.

The Great Degosi yanked a protesting Nigel to center stage.  He walked around him pouring kerosene on him from head to toe.  He then lit a match and scream “SHA-ZAM” sending Nigel a blaze.  Nigel screamed in horror, running back and forth on stage screaming, “TIS’ IZ NA ‘ART F TE ACT ‘UT ME OUT!”  The hissing raccoon jumped onto the hump on his back and latched its sharp teeth onto his head.  Nigel leaped off the stage and ran off into the neighborhood, on fire, with a rabid raccoon dangling off his head.  Stu rushed out of his house with his fire extinguisher to put out the patches of fire on his rickety stage, while Roger put out the few spots in the grass with a hose.

“That’s all folks.”  The Great Degosi said with finishing bow.

“Get the hell off my property!”  Stu demanded in seconds.  The Great Degosi left stage with a whoops look on his face.

Roger’s little girl approached him.  “Daddy for my birthday can I get a clown instead.”  Shelly asked in a malaise tone.

“Sure honey.”  Roger said giving his little girl a hug.

“Actually the ad I found the Great Degosi also had one for a clown too…I think his name had the word Penny in it.”  Stu offered.

“Hmm, he can’t possibly be as bad as that magician…right?”  Roger responded in an abnormal tone.

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