10 months

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
For 10 months everything was clear. Today it all came crashing down in less than 200 words. 200 insensitive, tactless, blunt words.

Submitted: October 17, 2015

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Submitted: October 17, 2015

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For ten months I endured. I sat here and dealt with the screaming, dealt with the infighting, I supported everyone even if I lost my temper at times and yelled. I gave feedback and fought my personal issues and tried my best. I dealt with being belittled. This was meant to be my way out. This was meant to take me from this place, I was to leave this dead end and start again. This was my way out. This was all I had. I sat here for months, dealing with it all and now, now it’s gone. Taken away by those who think that only they needed a way out, that this was theirs and their only way to escape.

I feel a pit growing ever larger in my heart, the range of emotions killing me from the inside, the mixture a indiscernible emotions, eating away at me. This was to take me from this place, this was what I had planned my future around. This was it, this was my all, my everything.

I don’t know where I am to go from here. After everything we’ve endured, after everything we went through as a group, after everything I’ve dealt with, it’s all gone. Gone in less than 200 words. Less than 200 insensitive, tactless, blunt words.

This was it. This was my future. My everything. And now it’s gone. For 10 months I endured, only for it to be ripped from my heart and soul.

They shall succeed and perhaps we will get a mention when they do, but we will not share in the success. We shall watch, cold and weary from the sidelines, as they bask in the light and the warmth of success.

I started with nothing and now I am left with nothing once more. I had no purpose and I have no purpose once again. And so I shall return to crying myself to sleep, to going through my days without hope. Without a clear picture of where I shall go. My one remaining ray of light will struggle immensely to save me, but it shall be in vain.

For 10 months I lived, I had a purpose, I had hope, I had a way out. For 10 months I was happy. For 10 months everything is was so clear. Now, I do not live, I have no purpose, I have no hope, I have no way out. My happiness has nearly all vanished. 10 months, wiped away by less than 200 insensitive, tactless, blunt words that have crushed me under their weight and have destroyed myself and all I ever had.


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