The Monsters inside of me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
We have all felt pain. Physically and emotionally. But have you experienced a pain that was eating inside of you? Chewing your flesh? And you feel like death was the only way out?

This is a shortened version of my battle with the monsters inside of me.

Submitted: February 11, 2012

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Submitted: February 11, 2012

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I was always the sick person of the family, every day I would rush to the restroom to throw up. But I would only get sick once a week, so that was good until this happened…

 

I was only five when they were inside of me, I was only five when I became so weak, I was only five when I became somewhat paralyzed, I was only five…. When inside my head, I begged someone to kill me.

 

I was sicker then ever before, I could hardly move a muscle, I felt dizzy. At first I thought this was one of those “sickness” I had once a week so I tried my very best to ignore the pain even though it was excruciating.

 

I went to throw up in a bowl my mom would give me when I didn’t have any strength to even crawl to the restroom.

 

I would lie on my stomach (don’t know why I do, just do) and close my eyes tightly.
 

***

 

At night, my brother or father would carry me up to my bedroom to sleep.

 

The next day, I felt bad but not worse, well it was a little worse than yesterday, I thought I would be better, I still felt sick.

 

Falling off my bed, I dragged myself downstairs, every step I took down the stairs and all the way to the den was excruciating.

 

I lay back down on the couch and moaned lowly and quietly in pain.

 

With the bowl cleaned and at my side, I used what was left of my arm strength to grasp it and throw up in it again, even though I had eaten nothing.

 

***

 

I was literally skin and bones; you could see every bone that was in my body.

 

I looked pale, but not like those “vampire” pale skin, but miserable pale skin like if you touched me, I would break.

 

I threw up hard and long eventually, my mom and dad would “force/encourage” me to go to the restroom.

 

I understood why they made/encourage me to move, they wanted me to keep whatever strength I had.

 

I made it to the restroom but before I could throw up, I passed out for what seemed like hours but was really a few minutes.

 

When I woke up, I turned off the bathroom lights and head back to the couch where the rest of my family were eating dinner.

 

I wanted to eat with them, but… I just couldn’t.

 

***

 

Finally, my mom became worried, she and my father and my sister all went to a doctor to see if they can figure out what was wring with me.

 

The doctor stated that I had parasites.

 

When my mom told me what I had, I felt afraid.

 

I knew very little about parasites and I knew that they can kill you.

 

***

 

I started having a little bit more strength to sit up and to eat and drink. But slowly.

 

I thought at first that this would be my last day; I thought I would be better the next day… I was wrong, dead wrong.

 

***

 

In fact I was a lot worse, I couldn’t move at all!

 

I could hardly breathe!

 

I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

 

I felt paralyzed.

 

I would pass out every time I try to move.

 

Inside my head, I begged someone to come and kill me, to end this misery.

 

I nearly shouted out for my brother to do it.

 

Luckily I didn’t, but I was losing hope, and wanted to die.

 

For I thought that if I was dead, the pain would go away, but then I would go away.

 

***

 

A few days later, my mom came back from the doctor’s with a bottle of liquid gold pills.

 

She told me to take these and they will help get rid of the parasites, she also told me to eat soft foods, like jell-o, soups(mainly the broth), etc and drink broths, water, 7-up, etc.

 

I did what she said and every day, but slowly, I was getting better.

 

I finally had my strength back to walk, but slowly.

 

I took the pills every day and every day, I was feeling a lot better.

 

By the end of the third week, I was fully better, had my full strength back. I was still a little “boney” but at least I was better.

 

***

 

This is my story, my war, my pain. This is what happened, all a true story. I had…. Monsters inside of me. Commonly known as…parasites.


© Copyright 2020 Art _91. All rights reserved.

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