A Letter You Will Never Read

Reads: 208  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
I wrote this letter for my friend, who I lost more than 15 years ago

Submitted: November 05, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 05, 2019

A A A

A A A


*For privacy reasons, I've changed the name of my friend

 

Dear Donovan,

 

Although I know you will never be able to read this letter, something compels me now to take this pen and write down everything I feel inside.

Only God knows how much I think of you and how the memory of you drives me on.  Donovan, it is because of you that I dream- I dream that I can become more than what I now am.   It is because of you that I hope- that I hope that I can one day say to you all that is inside my heart.   Even tho a part of me feels that you can always hear me and that you know everything I feel for you, I still cannot help myself from hoping that my prayers for you are heard.

In life, you lived just two streets away and yet I felt as if you and I lived a million miles away from each other.  Now in death, although you are in a place I cannot visit or even cross into for even a second, somehow I feel as if we are closer physically and emotionally.  I can feel you everywhere I go, and I know you are looking out for me day and night, even though I cannot see you or hear you.

Donovan- there are so many questions I have, some that only you can answer.  I know I have to be patient, and that one day you'll be able to answer me.  The world I live in doesn't allow me to hear you yet- all I can hear is the din of the passing cars and the chatter of the people passing by.  I can also hear my own thoughts- and sometimes they do not allow me to hear anything else.

Sometimes I spend nights thinking of you- of what I should have done.

I often live in regret and sadness, and recall my inability to act when I should have.  I often curse myself for allowing you to go, without me even trying to speak to you.  All I had to do was call out your name.  That's all.  

Yet, I didn't.  

And in so doing, I lost you.

While some who fail might have a chance to try again, I do not.  I lost all my chances that tragic day when I watched you go, and I'll never see you again.  

Not in this life.  Not in the years I have left.  

Donovan, why is it that although I've spent so many years alone and sad, that I can somehow feel that I have learned the true meaning of love?  It is strange....how I can experience the sensations of love when in reality I've lost the only man I would ever want to marry?  

How then can I feel the warmth and tenderness of your kiss?  How can I feel your touch at night and feel you light my fire?  

Maybe....it's what's inside me Donovan- this love that I feel for you.  A love that never dies even as I grow older and the years pass on.

Oh...sometimes I cannot help but feel sad as I realize how happy we could have been together.  God knows that I would have done my best to make all your dreams come true.  God knows I'd love you with everything I have.  

I would have loved to be yours.....to age with you....to build a life together as husband and wife.  

But.....I can't.  We can't.

Instead I'll live my life without you.  Alone.  I'll live with the pain of having lost you before we even had a chance.  

The years will pass, as they always do.....and still I will think of you, Donovan.  

My only wish then (as now) will be that death can finally bring me to your side.  And that the love that was born during our lives, will live on like an eternal flame upon our reunion.

 

with love,

Your Friend


© Copyright 2020 Artic Wolf 1984. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments: