The Bud That Died Before Blooming
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Short Story by: arun
The Bud That Died Before Blooming
A/N 1: This is having the worst-est grammar possible. Actually this is a try. Trying to fit ‘into’ the mindset of a small Indian girl, who’s had no formal proper education.
Note: I even have a friend who uses almost this same type of bad English even now! Most importantly, wherever ‘I’ must come, he always uses ‘me’.
Character: Her name is pavithra (which means purity); of 13, attained puberty just 2 months before; typical middle class South Indian family, where nothing other than food, clothing and shelter is affordable; her dad provided her the basic education that he is unable to get; studying in a government school (fact: govt schools don’t provide good education, resources are less; not meant to offend). English is her 2nd language. Come, get into her mindset.
A/N 2: Though the entire thing is made of misspellings and wrong grammar, some important (significant) mistakes to understand better.
Allways, Allso – always, also.
*bare - bear
*vekkam (in Tamil)– blushing. Since she doesn’t know that word (blush), she used the Tamil word for it.
*Belief - trust.
*sigh – shy.
*brake up – break-up.
*Infachuasion – infatuation.
*Brest – breast.
*Sawing – seeing.
A/N 3: and yes, don't kill me for my title. A flower that didn't blossom is called 'bud', then what is 'bud before blooming', right?But ok, anyway I like calling it so....:-)
January 1, 2011.
Oh yay! My first entry in my journal! My dad buyed me this diary and sayed me as to get this habit. He says its a good habit! New Year new habit. Oh wow, writing in diary feel like me talk to one friend, like me had someone share all feeling. Thank you daddy. Me going to manage this from now. Me write here only anything happened importance. Now its 11.30pm. Me of to sleep.
P.S. my dear diary, English is not my 1st language, so please bare* with me whether me do any mistakes. Daddy strict said me to write in English (not in Tamil) and says it help me devlop me English.
January 11, 2011.
This not at all good day. First, me doesn’t complete the homework and was humilited before whole class as me the only one failed to do. Lunch hour, have fighting with my best friend Ashmita because of chocklate me refuse to share on her. Allmost goed up to hair pulling. Luckly other friends comed and saves the day. She goes away looking me down. Me feeling so bad. Me feeled me may shared it.
January 12, 2011.
She not speak to me yet. All my trys go in vain. Me received aprecition from my maths teacher, (who will not never prize anyone in anything) for answer a trick question, but me not in mood for celebration it.
January 17, 2011.
Nothing hapened remarkabal whole week but now me friend speak to me. Me allmost cryed hug her. Yes reunions allways fantastik. Only brake up will show how deep love is over others person. Me so excited today. My dear diary, me so happy!
January 23, 2011.
Goed to park with me friends. Have a fantastic day. One of most jolly days of my 12 year life.
February 3, 2011.
My daddy said ok’ed to my birthday party. wowwie! He no allow previas year. Me very happy. No big party, just cake and meals to friends. Anyway, me happy. Dear diary, you know that me got a super daddy.
February 4, 2011.
Me called all my friend. All comes. My dear diary, me very happy.
February 6, 2011.
Sunday. Now 6am. Me waked up. Me birthday today.
11am. Me jolly. Me daddy gived me bicycle as b’day gift, me rided it 1hr.
6pm. Haiya! Me party starting in 30mins. All my friends are here. Me will cutting cake in 10 mins.
7pm. me so happy. Important: me see one boy so beautiful. He was Ashmita’s neibor. She bring him to the party. He so beautiful. His name is Arvind.
February 7, 2011.
He speaks with me today morning on going to school. My dear diary, me think me love him. Love at 1st sight.
February 11, 2011.
Me see my prinse today. He speaks to me. He so jokeing. Me love him so much. He ask me do you like me. I say nothing, but ran away in vekkam*.
February 12, 2011.
He sees me again. He winks at me. Me so much in vekkam. He does style roatation of eye glass sawing me.
February 26, 2011.
Saturday. School leave. Me and my lover Arvind go to movie. He is so good man. My dear diary he so good man. Me so love him.
February 28, 2011.
Me sad. Very low marks in 2nd midterm test. Me fails. My daddy very angry, mummy angry. Teacher scolded me. Me sayed to Arvind he says don’t worry. And kiss me on lips. Me shocking, push him. He angry. Goed away.
March 7, 2011.
He no speak me whole week. Me crying. Me ask forgive to him but he no hearing me. Me very sad. Me sayed that to my friend Ashmita. She sayed that to forget him. No no me cannot forget.
March 12, 2011.
Me see him in we usual spot. He on his bike sitting. Me cryed he no response. Finally he sayed to kiss him. Me kiss him on cheek, he sayed to kiss on lips. Me angered again and comed house. Me sad again my dear diary.
March 13, 2011.
Me no sleep yesterday. Me no eat breakfast. Me went straight to that old building. He as usual there sits in bike with friends. After me reach his friends gone. He no saw me. He saw that side. Me go and kissed him hard on lips. He so happy and gived me kiss again. Me feeled so good. Me like for kiss. Me like kissing very much. Oh they show it in TV! That all real. Love is beutiful. Me so happy.
March 14, 2011.
After school over, me goes to that same building. We kiss 10 mins. Me come house. Me like him so much. Me want for allways with him.
March 22, 2011.
Me kissing him daily is a habit. He touch me at many body place. Me so sigh* but at the same time, me like that feeling. Yes diary, me like that feeling, but me not allow him touch.
March 23, 2011.
Me sayed that to best friend Ashmita. She scolded me. She sayed it all duplicate. She warn me she will say my parents. Me cryed she extra angry and sayed no to meet Arvind again. If me meet again, she my parents will telled and me really beated by parents. You know it diary, me daddy is angry man.
March 24, 2011.
My best friend Ashmita finded me goed to Arvind yesterday. She begs me no meeting him nomore. She sayed that is infachuasion.* Me no understand. Me duplicate promise her.
March 30, 2011.
All good going. Secret meeting him. But today he touch me my brests*. My dear diary he allso speaked some bad words angryed at me pushed his hand away out of my brest. Me can no do nothing. Me just cryed and stayed. He touch me brest for many mins. Me cry to go. Then he telled me to come again next day. Me very afraid.
April 7, 2011.
He comed to school gate and called me sawing* me. Me friend Ashmita seed this and telled me no go. Me said just two minute and go speaked. He angryed speak why me no see him one week. Me lie him homework busy. He telled me get back his bike. Me sitted. He rided me his place. Me so sorryed him and he as usual kiss me, me kiss him. He opens my school uniform and touches my bear brest. Me so fear. He sayed no problem. Not will happen wrong. Me belief him and he biting it for many mins.
April 10, 2011.
He do the same for 3 days. Today he remove my skirt and touch that place. Me struggle he like animal strongly push me hands. My dear diary, me fear him but me love him so much. Sawing TV me allways saw him as hero and me as heroine.
April 12, 2011.
He doed something to me. Me fear first. He remove me dress then he dress. He touch all me body and doed me something. Me love it. Me enjoy that. Me firstly fear but after that me enjoyed it. He my hero. Me like that. Me want it all time my dear diary.
April 13, 2011.
Me speaked to Ashmita general on love. She sayed that this age is no love, that infachuasion. She allso sayed that real love come only after 20. She sayed me still a small girl. She allso small girl, she no enjoy life. Me want do that again with Arvind my lover. Me goed and doed that. Me love it too much.
April 28, 2011.
Sorry diary, me forget you all days. Me doing same. Going to Arvind and doing that daily and coming house. No changes.
May 27, 2011.
Ashmita finds me allways going to him and sayed my parents. My daddy beated me very hardly. Me many wound. Very pained. Me cry my dear diary. No sleep come. Me daddy too sayed me infachuasion. Me no forget him me want that allways.
May 28, 2011.
Me father take me hospital and check. Me pregnant doctor said. Me so feared. Me write this sitting in waiting room. Me daddy untill speaking to doctor. Me very fear he come and will beat me. Me going to put you into my skirt pocket dear diary. Ya my pocket was big. You go into ok?
Me dad beated me and throwed me out of house. Me felled on ground. Me mom tryed for stop that. She no possible. Me write this sit in park bench slow crying. It now around 6 pm. Me will go to Arvind now. Me will live with my lover.
Me write this stand on edge of bridge. Below go the river. Very fastly. This is my last write on you dear diary. Me say you all. Me goed to Arvind. He sawing me fastly catched me and hug me tightly. Kissed me body fully as usual. Me tryed to tell him that pregnant matter. He no allow me talk. He stoped my mouth and as usual doed that. Me no enjoyed that time. Me crying all time. He no cared me. After finish he asked me what matter. Me telled him me pregnant and he shock. Me said me live with him in that old building he speak no. Me cry he irritation and push me away and sayed me no never to saw him again. Go back me home. No he no good guy. He speak bad words on me and sayed he do not know anything. He push me away and beat me on me try to catch him. He sayed he hate me do not want me. He started bike and goed away. Me very sad. Me cryed that place for many mins. Now allso me write crying this. Me no life want. Me nothing to live. Me no example to my name. Me no qualify to live over earth. Sorry daddy, sorry mummy, me failed yours belief* on me. Me no qualify to live. Me going to die and kill me baby allso. Sorry baby. Me goed to jump out off this bridge in that river. Me leaved this diary here. So anyone finded it, know me death.
© Copyright 2019 arun. All rights reserved.
Comments
It was difficult to read through, based on the constant errors. I know you said you did it on purpose, but even your explination wasn't exactly proper. I can understand the need to have it from her point of view, but I couldn't help noticing she spoke more like a TV caveman. It was a touching tale though. Good job.
Ha ha Yeah I understand... It was really difficult... I wonder why you chose this to read... I'll delete it after a week. This is for a contest entry only ha ha... Seriously I'm good at grammar, you'd find it in my other writs ha ha... Anyway thank you so much for reading...
awww ;( That was sad! She's 13?! Awww... I'll be honest and say I'm 13, and I can't imagine that happening :(
I like the bad grammar. It somehow makes it more deep.
Good luck!
Another masterpiece from the great Arun (masterpiece has a lot of references, if you check thesaurus haha). I think your writing now deserves the name.
I love this Arun. First, i'm glad that you left few author messages to remind us that, unlike your perfect writing, this one is an exception only for the purpose of a 13 year old Indian who's first language is Tamil. Again, Arun, you nailed this to the top.
I love the way you use dairy-style, and the time she wrote it. There are a lot of grammar errors, too much that I felt my brain was being sickened......but that's the beauty of this! It fits perfectly for a dairy and the little girl. This piece, if i'm being honest, is the most creative piece you've ever written. Yes, Arun, you're an excellent writer with no problem in grammar, and I imagined-since you're too good as a writer-it must've been hard for you to make it like this. It brings liveliness to this story, as if the dairy and girl are just perfect combination. Very well done my friend.
As I already mentioned, I love how you set the dates during which she writes her daily life. I like it that you began by allowing the girl to say it's her first time ever, followed by a bad day she was having, which shows how typical and normal a girl her age is. Nicely done.
One thing I found so fascinating the paragraphs for April 13 and April 28; 15 day! She's been doing it 15 day?! Wow! The way you expressed it makes this story so realistic. Nicely done.
I like the ending, though not too crazy about it. It's predictable if you ask me, since that's how young people feel like whenever they think life is meaningless for them-I was hoping you'd take another route, like retribution or live on with herself.
Okay, the mentioning of Ashmita got me wondered a lot. I don't want to speculate, so I want you to tell me the whole reason behind. :)
As always, good job Arun. Another creative piece that deserves to be recognized. You never stop to bring a bold smile on my face. Thanks for this read, your best friend, GG. Cheers!!
And wow GG!!! Even your name brightens me up!
As usual a fantastic critique! ha ha masterpiece has lot of meanings? I never knew. Ha ha A/N's... Yeah I'm afraid to present it that way and was highly fearing if you guys would like it.
TOP??? No, I don't think so! Error makes it beauty? Never heard of it! And yay! Most creative??? What are you saying GG? I sweated too much fearing that you won't like it & moreover would get irritated! No it isn't hard. I'VE SEEN SUCH ENGLISH ALL THROUGH MY LIFE. Less proficient friends are there who're live example to me.
15 days? Yes, she said she enjoyed it. So every day she'd go after school!!! And yeah that's predictable, I know ha ha.
And there's no reason behind using Ashmita's name, I love her a lot; so thought it would be good to have her here!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUCH AN AWESOME CRITIQUE GG.
WOW ARUN!!
you have such depth!! especially with the errors which you explained earlier anyways!! VERY PROUD OF YOU BRO!! but slightly hurt that you did the thing that hurt you... to me :( x
No, don't re-write it ;)
Oh my god. I'm not sure how to even start. I have mixed emotions right now. I like and dislike the writing errors in the same time. I like the whole story, and dislike it at the same time, because it just makes your stomach turn especially when you think that she's only 13. But again, I mostly like the grammar errors, 'cause she's 13, and isn't supposed to speak english perfectly. You just made the whole story so realistic. I didn't say why I hated the errors... Well, it's because it just makes me sad; I pity her. The thing is, that your marvelous story is so true. There's so much abuse, and suicide nowadays.
Amazing story. Great job!
Well at 13, it is not possible to speak English and remember the fact that she's in South India (fact: comparatively, other parts of India is good in English).... And indeed she started writing her journal (diary) to improve her English ha ha.
What you liked it? I can't believe it. I never even imagined that it would be good; I thought you guys will get annoyed (thats why I didn't update it to anyone!)
you pity her? It means you're engaged in the plot? Wow, that's purely awesome to hear from you! Thank you so much dear friend TT..........
Don't ever give me a spelling lesson again...just
kidding...The way you draw your readers into the childs
life is compelling and that's the way a great writer writes...Bravo to you...it brought emotions of sadness,
happiness, controlled yet obscure,...it's differences
of stories that bring the readers back time and time
again...Kudos to you...TAGS...
Bravo and Kudos?? Ha ha T, you make me blush (ok ok just kidding, technically not blushing). Say, smile through one's side-teeth? But don't ask me what a 'side-teeth' is, ha ha.
Oh I drew you into it? Its so nice you liked it T. As I keep on saying, I was afraid if you guys would be liking it, or at least, want to read it ha ha...
Thank you so much T.
oh god arun what shud i say,,,,u r too gud,,,this is exactly what happens in present society,,,well potryed,execution wow,,
overall impact astounding,,,me ashmita liking it ha ha ha,,,and another thng gud potrayal of ashmita-the frnd filozoper and guide,,
this last line is acc to the arun 's creation althrough ha ha ha ha,,,enjoyed and voted it
Ha ha you liked it dear???
I always wanted to put my sister in a prestigious position, say protagonist. But no I'm not yet done. Ashmita needs still a much better crowning!!!
And yes this is waht happens. Girls who go into the tentacles the 1st time unknowingly, (or involuntarily), after the 1st experience, do not get back to track. They go knowingly. That's so bad. And thank you so much my dear SPECIAL sissy...
Awww.
You tried to write with poor grammar. It vary hard. You have to posses excellent grammar to know how to do it poorly and still readable. You did a decent job. Of course, it's hard to judge something that is ment to be wrong.
As for the story, it's rather different. I really like how you distributed the days. It also fits the theme well. I had to relook at the theme honestly.
Overall, it's a good story and unique.
Me sovan, me liked her's diary. Me enjoyed her's story.Me laughed many times to read her's diary. Me................Brother, no need to correct her's this time. "Sometimes ignorance is better than knowledge,your story proved it".Knowledge has perfection,ignorance has humor.At the end humor is the champion of the game.Me logging off.Me will read your next story.
Ha ha sovan I'm very very happy that you adopted yourself to her mindset, and expressed the same here! Wow.
Ho! Humour won? Yeah I get your point. But no brother, I didn't try to make it humorous or something ha ha... And I'm glad you read my story Sovan... Thanks for commenting... Ha ha. Thank you so much.
There is a term for this "Ponte en sus zapatos" meaning you managed to put yourself, and the rest of us, into the shoes of the character.
The deliberate grammar errors was a nice touch, gave it more "feeling"...
I'm so sorry I can't give you a detailed comment, I will do so when I return for good. But for now I hope the orange box with "Khano" brings a smile to your face. :)
More than a smile!
Not even orange box is needed dear, just your name's enough. And, yes, you've did a good-deed today. I guess Ramadan is a month full of good deeds right? So, you've completed today's duty.
Ha ha, you liked it? Thank you so much chweet sissy...
This is amazing, Arun! I agree with GG! This is superb! I love the language so much and it is so deep and you are just wonderful at placing yourself in your characters shoes! I love that you have the notes up there that helped me with the translation from Tamil to english. My story has a few Japanese words in it and i might add the translation to them when i finish writing this comment. Oh! speaking of could you read mine? It's called "To Hold A Rosa" if you are interested. I need to fix a few things but other that you might like it. But this is amazing so original and I mean completely original! I have never read a story like this (although there might be one out there who knows?). The could relate to the character in a way and it is so sad that she went to that extreme in the end :(. Did I fan you? If i didn't then i dont know what i was thinking! Just excellent work, Arun. I cant wait to read more! This would also make a beautiful novel if you decide to extend it. I can see it being published though it may be a bit controversial with you being a man and all. But still! I can see good things coming for you in the future. You work is that of a professional's in my opinion.
Once again, fantastical job! I hope to see your writing in the libraries and bookstores!
~Belle
Ha ha thank you so much Amber. Love the language? Ha ha, I'm amazed... Actually this is how a lot use the language here...
And sure my friend. I'm quite busy these days. With judging a contest, my writs and my studies. But surely I'll read it but not now.
And no, sorry a novel is not possible... It would sound fun to read just a 1000 words in this ugly English, whereas you can't read it for the length of a novel. It would be annoying...
Professional? I guess I'm not up to that level!
Of course all of us are here just to see our names in libraries and bookstores right? We all will get published, not to worry about that ha ha.
All the best for you too.... And, thank you so much for spending your valuable time reading and commenting... Cheers.
Your friend, Arun...:)
This is a great experimental piece. I LIKE the deliberate errors, it really brought me into the shoes of taht little girl. This story produced a great catharsis, I truly felt for this little Indian girl. I think everyone can feel for your writing because we can all relate to being used, if not to this extent. It's really terrible this story happens everywhere but instead of the Americanized, and glorified, "16 and Pregnant" view you've provided us with the serious, consequenced view. You brought us to feel for innocence lost. It's upsetting she felt the only way out was to end her own life, but how do you get over the overlapping betrayal of everyone you thought you knew and loved? Very realistic & extremely well written :) I adored it :)
Ha ha thank you so much for spending your valuable time reading and commenting...
brought you into her shoes? so you felt one with the plot? wow so good to hear.
The sad truth is that it happens everywhere. Even This very second someone in some remote corner will be the victim:-(
No offense - yes Americans become pregnant as if that's a trend at 15 or 16. whereas here, virginity is respected to be the most important asset any woman can have. that's why she decided to suicide.
Thank you so much for spending your valuable time reading and commenting on my writ... A sincere thanks.
Brother! You are turning up these unique bits experiments in your writing on daily basis,which are not only fascinating but also enjoyable. Though, as a brother,will like to make a little complain.May be I am wrong.
But I think, you got carried away with the idea of presenting this write in a strange but realistic manner.You have worked hard on the language, but somewhere compromised on emotions.Like, a 13 year old, who is left on her own, you could have taken it to a whole new emotional level.
But by saying this, I still would like to compliment you for the work you are putting in your art. Passion is well defined by a soul who is always restless and wandering.You are one of the BEST we have on this platform.You have found a language to express yourself,don't let it go waste in Engineering Brother.
Dear brother, thank you so much for spending your valuable time reading and commenting... (Ha ha I'm being so formal! Sorry for that...)
My inner voice - C'mon Arun, you're speaking to brother. So, no formalities... I say, Ok, fine...
Whole new emotional platform? - I really don't understand what you're saying dear. Can you explain it on my comment page?
Ha ha, experimenting is a way of life! Right since we're born. Walking, speaking, alphabets, etc,everything is basically experimenting right? Ha ha.
One of the best? I must deny it bro... May be one of the little good? Ha ha, and wow. I'm glad you liked it bro...
Unique piece of writing and i found it very sad.
Right I'm sooooo not going to lose the challange I might as well start reading it hehehe :)
WHAT!!! jumping of a bridge killing the child and herself nooooo.Thas was really sad well my tears wouldnt come out for some reason but still I could feel them fighitng to get out that is how lovely I found this moving remarkable amazing story.It's simply WOW!!!! I loved it to picies your talent is beyond this planet I dont know what you are doing with engineering or production whatever it was I DONT KNOW WHY YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TALENT!!!!!!. AMAZINGO BOMBASTIC VOLCANOE WORK!!! you did there.WELL DONE.
Live,Laugh,Love
I'm winning DING DING DING
Asiya xx
Welcome to my brain! Ha ha jk jk...
That's sad yeah. She's immature to take a decision. But WHATTT? That almost brought tears! I'd no clue. To admit it, I, the writer, has had no feeling when I wrote it and even now. No nothing. Like clay. It produced nothing on me... It takes a tender heart to cry right? Well, I guess mine's not tender...
No sis, I'm not wasting my talent. Just to support myself financially, I need that engineering... But well, I'll keep writing... You happy??
Amazingo... What's that? A new language? Or you playing as if that's a new language?
Ding dong bell, kitty fell into well. You won... Ok...
Take care...:)
one word INTENSE
Me liking it:-) Me crying angry in me soul now:( Me feeling coldy Melancholy now. Me too sigh to comment.
That was an amazing story! I felt like I was really reading her words. Bravo!(standing ovation) (clapping)
Juliette LaBelle