Love as we know it

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Love will always have a second chance. All you have to do is find him/her in this crowded small world.

Submitted: April 18, 2016

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Submitted: April 18, 2016

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There always comes a stage in your life when all you say to god is “Why me?  What have I done wrong?”  This is all that I was feeling the day he left me. I’m Preeti, Preeti Sharma. Yes, I was dumped. He left me at a stage when he was all that I had. I cannot even express the pain that dwelled inside me. It always amazes me that it takes 2-3 years to build a relationship and just a minute to break it off .How can you totally ignore the person with whom you were entirely in love with. With whom you had made several promises. To whom you always said I’ll be yours till death parts us. Am I dead now? No, then why did he leave me. Shreyas was always nice to me. He never made me feel that he would just disappear some day and abandon me in this country that I did not belong to. I had come to New York two years back. Many of my friends had been to New York and all that they ever told me was “Mind-blowing”. There was not a single person who said that the city was dull or boring. I too belonged to the majority. New York indeed was a very beautiful city. Tall skyscrapers that told us how innovative man was, amazing roads, places and people. Everything was stunning .But the whole lot shattered in seconds. Thousands of people at Times Square seemed to fade away the moment he said he was seeing someone else. Felt as if everything around me stood still.

Six months had passed off and nothing seemed to have changed. I called him hundred times every day. I was always directed to his answering machine and just in case he attended the call, all he said was nothing is going to change between us .Felt like someone stabbed several knives in to my heart and ripped it off. I had three good friends who kept on advising me but it seemed like my mind was out of control, not ready to accept the fact that he was gone. I used to spend several nights at pubs dancing and drinking with people, some who were complete strangers to me and some whom I hardly knew. I ruined my life to such an extent that it appeared as if I lost myself somewhere .My parents were in India. I somehow controlled my tears whenever they called. I wanted to tell them how lonely I was but how could I. I could never hurt them .I slept each day hoping that the next day would be as I wanted it to be. Several months went by and somehow it felt like my wounds were healing. I tried to keep myself busy by spending time with my friends and focussing completely on my work.

One fine day, I was at a library busy searching for a book on the art of living. I had just pulled out one when someone called out my name. Okay, it was a library and I was very sure that none of my friends would be here. I turned back and was amazed to see Shashank. He was my classmate in college and the worst part was that once I was so badly drunk that I had spent a night with him. It was after the farewell party at the college and the last time I had seen him .He looked different. His specs were missing and he seemed quite classy in the black t-shirt and blue jeans he was wearing. He smiled at me and said “Oh my god, Preeti is reading a book on the art of living, what’s wrong with you?” Back at college, I used to be a tom boy, full of energy, nothing could shake me. But Shreyas had changed me so much, pulled out all the vigour inside me and left me completely empty. I looked at him and said “Time changes so many things Shashank. By the way, how are you?”He said he was doing well and that he was working for a multinational company in New York. He had moved here just a couple of days back. He took me out for a coffee and we talked for few hours about our college days and all the fun we had. I missed those days. I could still envisage the beautiful campus of our college and the amphitheatre that was my dwelling place where we used to sit for hours together and pass comments on each and every passerby. At that very moment I realized that I had lost so many friends during the act of chasing my life. Having Shreyas as my boyfriend seemed to be the most important thing in life at that time. I had ignored so many of my friends particularly Shashank. He still had my pictures in his laptop that he used to carry everywhere. I told to myself “So, only his looks has changed, not his habits”. The photos were so amazing. God, I was so full of life, a complete bundle of fun and happiness. He could make out that something was bothering me but I didn’t want to tell him that Shreyas was no more with me. He kept on asking me what was wrong but I managed to change the topic. Finally when I was about to leave, he said “you were the most sweetest and compassionate being I have ever had in my pals list, you have always inspired me. I can very well understand that something has hit you very bad and someday if you feel like sharing that with me I’m always there for you. I kissed him on his cheeks and whispered in to his ears “I know”. He kissed me back and said “take care”. If I had been there for a minute more, I would have definitely broke down and cried badly, but I did not want to do that. I did not want to show him that right now I was so weak from the inside, brittle like the chinaware. I got in to my bright red car and drove back to my home.

I got up the next morning and left for work. I was checking my e-mails and there was one from Shashank. It read “Good Morning sweetheart. You look lovely in bright blue formals” .Okay, I was baffled. I was wearing a bright blue dress, where the hell did he see me. I turned back but it was the same old lousy Robert Jones sitting behind me who smiled at me as if someone forced him to. I messaged him” Shashank, where are you? Stop playing with me.” He replied back “At work”. I did not message him back and started off with my work. After about an hour he messaged me “Coffee? If yes, come down to the cafeteria”. First I thought he was just kidding but I wanted to give it a try. I went to the cafeteria and there he was sitting, looking quite modish in white shirt and black trousers. I smiled at him and said “Pleased to see you. I badly wanted a friend at work”. We had coffee and then lunch together. We met every day for lunch and sometimes for breakfast. I had a great time with him. My friends wanted me to change and each one of them suggested why don’t you ask him out? All I said was I like him, he is great but he is not Shreyas.

It was a humid weekend when I and Shashank had planned to meet up at a restaurant for dinner. I dressed up in blue-green gown and black high-heeled sandals. I left for the hotel at around 7 in the evening .I planned to walk because it was just few blocks away from my house. I reached and he was waiting for me at the entrance. We went inside and he bought me great food and during the whole time I spent with him, he looked in to my eyes. I told him about Shreyas and everything I had gone through. It felt as if he was eager to say something but he couldn’t. After the dinner, I asked him to walk me back to my home. We spent the whole night talking about all that life had taught us. God alone knows when we slept off.

He had left for work by the time I got up. I smiled to myself. I was happy. I turned towards the mirror and found a small note with the words “Can I consider this as a yes from your side?”  I was taken aback. I did not want to ruin this lovely friendship. There was no way I could fall in love again. Starting a relationship seemed like a nightmare to me. I had no guts to face him. What was I supposed to do now? I was not ready. He could never be Shreyas. I was so tensed that I had no idea of what I was doing. I decided to take few days off from work and leave for India. It felt as if the same old feelings would rush back and he would just abandon me. I never wanted all that. I booked my flight tickets and reached India the next day. I took a cab to my house and my parents were totally surprised to see me. I convinced them that everything was alright and that I was missing them very badly and then decided to surprise them. My parents believed me. I had no idea what Shashank was doing out there in New York. I had switched off my cell phone, but I was eager to know what he was doing.

Few days passed off and then I decided to check my e-mails. There were several mails from Shashank. He wrote, where are you? Got to know that you’re in India. Are you alright? Do you want me to come there? Please reply sweetheart, I’m panicking. I did not reply back. After almost a week I decided to meet up Shashank’s parents because that was the only way I could find out how he was doing. I went to his home and his parents were quite happy to see me. They offered me something to eat and I went up to Shashank’s room. It was the same room where we used to spend hours together finishing up assignments and watching several thriller and horror movies .I ran my eyes through his shelf and found a very fascinating book with the title “The empty vase” written on it. It was Shashank’s hand-writing. I was shocked to see the pages. The book was full of my pictures starting from the day he had first met me till the last time we had met .Wao, he had safeguarded each and every picture. That was so startling. The final few pages were full of sentences like “Why didn’t I tell her that I loved her”.”God that was a huge mistake”.”I want to meet her”. Tears rolled off my eyes. I realized what I had done. I closed my eyes and all I was thinking was how am I going to face him. I was so wrong .He had always loved me. Obviously he was not shreyas, he could never hurt me. Just in between all this thinking, someone from behind said “I still love you”. I turned back and it was Shashank. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I ran towards him and I said “I’m Sorry, I know I love you. It’s just that I was afraid of falling in love all over again. Forgive me”. He hugged me and he said” Please never leave me again .You have no idea how it feels”. I said “Never ever, even if death parts us, I’ll be there with you”.

We got married after few months. I have a great life with him but I always have this instinct that someday Shreyas will come back and beg for my love .All I want to tell him is that “Get lost! You are not Shashank”. It hasn’t happened till now but all I learnt was that god always plans for back-ups; it’s not just the one guy or girl for you. If you lose one, trust me, there is definitely going to be another one. All you have to do is to find him or her in this crowded small world as I found Shashank.

 

 


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