Yellow Butterfly

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
This story is based off of the song Yellow Butterfly by Meg And Dia. Listen to the song after you read the story please

Submitted: August 13, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 13, 2010

A A A

A A A


  It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.It's been seven years since i got pregnant with Travis Quinn Tucker's baby.  Travis stayed around for her, but he didn't seem to care much for me. At least she would have a father when she was growing up, because he would most likely skip out on us when she turned eight, or nine.  
We live in a very secluded area.  The house was very old and the paint on the walls was peeling.  Behind the house was a wooded area with a stone path to this field about five minutes away.  It was a beautiful place, very peaceful, and there was also a river.  I went down there countless times while i was pregnant with Christine.  It was a place that i could go when I was stressing or having troubles at home.  A place I could  get my head on straight.  All and all the baby loved it there.  I personally think she loved the sound of of the trickling water down the small stream.
The field is full of wild flowers and grass, and it is just a happy place in all.
Christine was born March 15 of 2002 at about 4:07 a.m.  As she was growing up, she became very beautiful, and graceful, and a tad bit curious.  She was a precious gift that brought our small family of three closer together.  Travis loved her with all of his heart, something made me happy with the way he looked at her, and how he loved to be around her anytime he could.  She had gorgeous baby blue eyes, that sparkled in the light.  Travis always said she had the face of a star.  She brought me to life, and I loved her.  But as she grew up, from the time she was born, until that day, I always had a feeling, a horrible feeling which told me that things would fall apart soon.  But i didn't listen.

Every day I would take Christine down to the field.  We would usually have a picnic down there.  She loved the water, i would always take her shoes off and dip her feet in it.  I loved to watch her face light up when she felt the warm water hit her feet.  

As years past, she became more and more curious.  I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.  A Monday afternoon in September.  To be exact, it was September 21 of 2007.  The weather was  moody, but calm, and slightly warm.  So i packed the usual picnic, and two jackets.  Christine was five years old, and so excited.She was practically ready to bolt out the door.  She skipped happily all the way to the river.  When we arrived i was still sleepy, and a wave of sickness came over me.  I felt so sick and dizzy, but I wasn't going to leave, and ruin Christine's day, so i just turned around to calm down.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.  I could see light shining down on the flowers and the gentle wind was blowing daffodil seeds around.  It was a beautiful sight.  I was calming down when i heard a splash, I turned to find that Christine wasn't anywhere where i could see her.  The world started to spin
"Christine!"  I yelled and there was no response.  "Christine! Christine! Please! Where are you?"  Still no response.  I jumped in the water, it was speeding up and i spotted her hat floating on the top of the water.  I grabbed it and held the damp hat to my chest.  Tears streaked my face.  I kept walking down the current of the river.  "Christine!"  I tried yelling again, and again, but she never answered!  I finally found her, floating along the sides of the river bank.  I rushed toward her.  She was wet, and cold as I took her in my arms.  i attempted CPR many times, but it didn't work.  I still felt sick so i grabbed a jacket, and covered Christine's lifeless body as i laid down beside her, hoping to wake up and this would all be a dream.

I woke, frozen, on the ground.  Travis was holding Christine and crying.  He had hate in his eyes,
"What did you do to her?"  He slapped my face, and it stung.  He got up and walked away with my baby's body.
I remember the reality of it all.  I wanted to die!  I just rolled over towards the water, and fell in.  

My baby was still there, i saw her!  She looked dry, and angelic.  She grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy don't do this, you have to stay here.  I love you mommy"  was the last thing she said, as I was pulled to the top.  The coldness of the night broke the surface of the water hell that took my child.  I saw lights flashing, and it hurt my head.  These figures out me on a bed in the back of a truck.  That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out.

I awoke in the hospital, with cords, and tubes surrounding me.  The doctor explained what had happened.He told me that my baby was gone.  I remember thinking, "Were the angels that lonely?  Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?  Can't everybody lie to me?  she is home, crying for me now."   

Every Monday I would go to that spot where I last saw her alive.  The pain hit me like gunshots when i fall to the ground and cry.  Travis still wont even talk to me.  He is so self centered!  He said that trying to hurt myself wasn't enough, that i needed to die.  He is so mad at me!  It kills me to think of her.  So i sit at the table with vodka and just drink, and drink, and drink, until i pass out on the floor.  I do it to see her again.  When i fall over, and everything goes black, i can see her, and we run around the field together, until i wake up, and then i want more!

The alcohol finally got to my head, one day, i passed out and didn't wake up, but i didn't see Christine either.I woke up and i was in a big bed, with more tubes in me than ever before.  The doctor was checking my Vitals when he told me that i had alcohol poisoning, and it caused me to go into a state of un-conciousnes for about a month and four days.  I couldn't believe it.  What had I done?  I told him that i wanted it so bad, so that i could see my baby again, and he just gave me more pills.  I didn't know anybody that would believe me.  I was left, standing alone in a world of darkness.

On the day I woke up from my coma, i made a pact, I told myself that there would be no more alcohol, no more suicide attempts, and i would stay away from that river.  I sold my house and moved to my parents old house.  And I have lived here ever since then.  Even still today, my heart aches for her, and i cant wait for that day to come, when i will be with her again.


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